


Chinchilla

by crazyTXgradstudent



Category: Eddie Vedder/Original Female Character, Michael Fassbender/Original Female Character - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Military, Miscarriage, Moving On, Soldiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:15:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 57,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2710238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes you just gotta yell "chinchilla!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a recent pic of Michael looking none-too-happy about having his picture taken. Poor guy :-( 
> 
> (Granted - I love the pics as much as the rest, but damn that would surely suck to have a camera in your face at all times!)

“Please go!” Heather whined, and Lane rolled her eyes. Dammit! She hated being put in positions like this, not to mention the fact that she didn’t even know Joanna! 

“Seriously, you know I wouldn’t ask you if it weren’t an emergency, and you know I would go if I could. I am so pissed that I can’t go!,” Heather continued pleading her case.

“I don’t even know Joanna,” Lane countered, trying to find a way out by any means.

“We went to high school together! You know her.”

“Yeah, over 15 years ago!” Lane argued back.   She didn’t even remember Joanna, and now really only knew her from Facebook!

“Still. You know her. Please go, Laney. Please. Please?” Heather asked her again, and Lane felt her resolve slipping. “It’ll be fun and you need a break anyways.”

“Oh please! Don’t start that crap with me!” Lane began, getting aggravated now with the pity she could hear in Heather’s voice. It had been over a year. She was fine, and frankly she was tired of all the damn pity that friends and relatives bombarded her with still.

“Laney – babe – I love you. I am only trying to help,” Heather replied, and Lane immediately felt a pang of regret for being so harsh with her friend. She was only trying to help, and Lane knew this.

“I know,” Lane sighed deeply, resigned to her fate. “When do we leave and what do I need to know?”

* * *

 

A week later…

Lane followed behind Joanna, completely embarrassed by the spectacle that this woman was. Seriously. Joanna was hot by any standards, but did you really need to flaunt your body everywhere you went, to include the airport? A midriff baring top at Houston Hobby? In the middle of winter, no less! Lane could feel the stares that came their way – the appreciative men and the not-so appreciative women. Lane kept her head down low, dragging her one suitcase behind her as well as one of Joanna’s. Why the woman needed 3 suitcases was beyond Lane, but whatever. Didn’t they supply you with clothes at a photo shoot?

Lane took a seat near the gate that they were to fly out of, sighing in dread at the ruckus Joanna was about to unleash on the poor flight representative. Their flight was delayed, and Joanna was having a shit-fest of course. Lane tried to ignore the commotion, rather turning her attention to the people passing by on their way to wherever they were going. She had agreed to come along with Joanna – who again, she barely knew save from high school – to accompany her on a trip to Miami for a photo shoot. Joanna was a model and Heather usually accompanied her, but Heather’s husband was sick and so she had asked Lane to come instead.  Lane knew the reason for asking, and she was grateful that her friend would think of her, but fuck! Joanna was a goddamn handful, and quite annoying to be honest.

The woman was her age – 34 years old – and while she was beautiful, she was one of those women who seemed to be desperate in her attempt to find fame. It was almost embarrassing to watch – no take that back, it was embarrassing - the way she primped and preened, making sure every thing was perfect in her perfectly fake face. From fake eyelashes, to veneers, to hair extensions, Lane didn’t know what was real on Joanna and what was fake! Lane watched Joanna discreetly from her seat as she pretended to read a magazine. She knew Joanna had always been this way – even in high school – but damn! Did she never aspire to be anything else than someone’s arm candy, to be more than a picture in a magazine?

“Oh my god, how much longer!” Joanna whined as she came to flop down in the seat next to her, and Lane rolled her eyes behind the magazine. Joanna was a flurry of tanned skin and too much perfume, and Lane would swear on her life that Joanna had ADHD, as busy as she was!

“I’m sure it won’t be much longer,” Lane murmured, trying to keep from laughing at the woman next to her. “What time is your shoot?”

“It’s at 4pm, so if this fucking plane doesn’t hurry I am going to miss it!” Joanna whined again, smacking her lips as she looked in her mirror and reapplied lipstick yet again. Lane frowned at her, wondering why she would need lipstick again when she’d just applied it less than 30 minutes ago?

* * *

 

 

Lane sat back in the corner, her hands over clutching Joanna’s portfolio against her chest. She was so pissed right now, her luggage having been lost and not having the ability to change clothes.  Maybe if the queen bee didn't have so many fucking bags they wouldn't have gotten mixed up and lost! Now all she had left was her backpack, and she’d not packed any clothes in there unfortunately. Joanna let her know in not-so-kind terms that Lane’s choice of a t-shirt with a giant head on it _“was not appropriate in the least for a photo shoot._ ” Lane wanted to argue back that Joanna was _not appropriate in the least_ her damn self, and that her "Frank" t-shirt was way more appropriate than half the shit Joanna had on at any given moment, but whatever…

Just then the door opened and Lane assumed it was the guy that Joanna was shooting with, although neither of them would know who it was til he arrived. Part of her contract or something. They had been very secretive about this shoot, and Joanna was in a fit wondering if it would be anyone famous, or just some random guy off the street. Lane couldn’t see who it was, the dim lights and the flurry of people surrounding the man made it difficult to see who he was, but whoever it was had made Joanna happy, if her squeal of delight was any indication. Lane backed even further away, stepping back and leaning against a wall where it was dark so that she could watch the scene unfold. She’d never been on a shoot before, and had no idea what happened at one.

“Lane!” Joanna hollered and Lane cringed as if she were hearing nails on a chalkboard. That woman’s voice was beginning to grate on her nerves, the non-stop demanding and yelling taking its toll. “Bring my portfolio, please!” What was she - the fucking assistant now?? Lane closed her eyes and took a deep breath, mumbling something about Jesus taking the wheel as she made her way back to the crowd of people congregated before the white background.  She walked quietly up to Joanna and handed her the portfolio quickly, and was just about to leave when she heard a warm voice call to her.

“That’s a fucking amazing shirt, sweetheart,” the voice called and Lane turned back, looking for the owner of that distinctly familiar voice. When she saw the man, the unmistakably slim hips clad in tight jeans and a button down shirt, the messy red-brown hair and that stubble, her stomach flopped. No. Fucking. Way. Joanna was shooting with Michael Fassbender.

“She lost her luggage, or she would have changed,” Joanna rushed over to Michael, linking her arm through his as she pressed her bikini clad body against him. He looked down at her, his eyebrow raised in humor as he looked back at Lane.

“You’ve seen the movie, then?” he asked Lane with an easy grin, dismissing Joanna, who stared up at him obliviously.

“What movie?” she batted her eyelashes up at him, and Michael carefully extracted himself from her, trying to be polite as possible as Joanna pouted. He walked over to Lane and held out his hand to her, and she hesitantly took it, freaking out as Joanna glared at her from behind Michael.

Yep. It was going to be a fun ride home, that was for sure..

“Michael,” he introduced himself to Lane, gripping her hand warmly as he continued grinning down at her. “Did you like it then?”

Lane blinked a few times, still shocked that he was talking to her of all the people in the room. Quite a few women – including beauty queen Joanna – were wearing bikinis or less, and here he was, talking to her because she had a Frank tee on. The fuck. Michael was still grinning at her , her hand still in his when she realized that maybe she should reply.

“I’m Lane. And yes, I liked the movie. Very much so,” Lane replied, her voice sounding completely unlike herself as she tried to focus on anything but his perfect fucking face. Damn but he smelled good! She shook her head and mentally chided herself to pull it together, but these feelings were so foreign to her right now. She hadn’t felt anything akin to this in so long.

“Chinchilla,” Michael said, his lips quirked up in a smile and Lane laughed, unable to contain it any longer. As she laughed, he began to laugh, both feeling like a wall had been kicked down as they shared a secret joke that no one else knew. Lane smiled up at him as she pulled her hand away.

“I loved it, really, Mr. Fassbender. One of my favorites of all time,” she said, smiling shyly at him. The man was overwhelming. She’d always thought he was absolutely gorgeous, and a great actor, but in person he was just too much. Damn.

“Call me Michael, please. Did you know I was shooting today with your…friend?” Michael asked carefully. Lane looked around him in annoyance, trying to avoid Joanna’s glare at all costs.

“No. I am not into this stuff. I came along to babysit,” she clapped her hands over her mouth and stared at Michael with wide eyes as he cracked a smile at her slip-up. “I mean… to…accompany…Joanna because our mutual friend couldn’t make it. Her husband was ill.”

Michael stared down at her, his eyes searching her face and Lane turned away, his gaze just too much to handle.

“So you’re not into the film business at all?” he asked her, his tone dumbfounded. Lane shrugged her shoulders as she continued to look around the room full of aspiring actors and models, all of them adjusting and tweaking something. Her mouth screwed up in distaste, this place so foreign to her life.

“Nope.”

“Wow.”

“What do you mean, wow?” Lane questioned him, crossing her arms across her chest defensively as she eyed him.

“Exactly what I said. Wow,” he replied easily, shoving his hands in his pockets as he smiled at her gently. “You’re gorgeous, love.”

Lane almost choked on her own spit, jerking her head up to look at him in disbelief. He was fucking with her, he had to be! As she looked at his face, though, she saw no trace of sarcasm, that easy smile still in place as he stared down at her. She swallowed hard and looked away again, her cheeks blooming in embarrassment.

“Yeah..um..okay.” She had no idea what to say to that, not having been complimented like that in a good, long while.

“Mike!” the photographer called and Michael turned back to look at them, giving them a thumbs-up and nodding to them. He turned back to Lane and smiled again.

“Guess I better go,” he said reluctantly, holding out his hand again to her. Lane carefully took it, that electric tingle running through her body once more as his much larger hand enveloped her much smaller one. “Was a pleasure meeting you, love.” He leaned down and kissed her hand in such an unexpected way, like a scene out of some old movie, and Lane nearly melted on the spot. He stood back up, the smile still in place as he winked at her.

“I wish I was shooting with you instead of them,” he murmured and Lane surely thought he was screwing with her now. She blinked up at him, feeling as if the floor was falling away from her. “See you around, then?”

“Um…I guess…” Lane replied, words failing her as he released her hand with a small pat. He winked at her once more and turned back to the group, walking over and inserting himself in the equation.  Lane shrunk back against the wall again and pulled out her phone, occupying herself with a book.  Joanna in action was too much to bear, even if Michael Fassbender was the subject of her action.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m going out, Lane,” Joanna said dismissively, dropping her bags on the floor of the hotel room. “What are you going to do?”

Lane laid her backpack over on the small table, not wanting it to touch the ground. Who knew what kind of germs were floating around in here, she thought as she eyed the room in disgust. She did not like hotel rooms, especially when she had to share one with someone such as Joanna.

“I’ll stay in, I suppose,” Lane mumbled, looking out the window and down at Miami. She’d never been here before, and safe to say it was a wasted trip with Joanna. That woman was a vapid bitch. No other words described her better, and Lane couldn’t wait to get back home and away from her. She had no idea how Heather put up with this woman’s shit.

“Good. It’s just the crew and some of the actors,” Joanna said, bending over and flipping her hair again as she primped in front of the mirror. “Would probably be boring to you anyways.”

“Probably so,” Lane replied, knowing her sarcasm was lost on the dumb twat. “Take a room key, since I might go get something to eat.”

“Okay,” Joanna replied as she grabbed her purse, and her phone... and a jacket.... and whatever the fuck else she needed. The woman did not travel lightly. She flounced out of the room in a cloud of perfume and hairspray, and Lane walked behind her, waving her hand to dispel some of the smell as she locked the door.  She settled into the over-sized chair near the window and stared out at Miami, watching as the city came alive as the sun went down.

* * *

 

She must have dozed off, her phone falling out of her hands and landing on the floor as she heard the knock come again.  Lane hopped up out of the chair, the knock coming once again, but  more forcefully this time and scaring the shit out of her even more.  Joanna probably forgot something else, not that there was much else left for her to take with her. Idiot. How did she even make it in this world, seriously?  Lane peered through the peephole and almost fell on the floor.

It was Michael.

Michael _fucking_ Fassbender was standing at her door.

Oh god! Lane took a deep breath, knowing he was probably here for Joanna. Little miss perfect ass and perfect boobs and perfect fucking white teeth with her shit spread out all over the fucking room. By the time Lane actually opened the door, her aggravation was running high again as she thought about spending 2 more days with the almighty princess. She opened the door slightly and peered around it.

“Umm…Joanna’s not here,” Lane stated flatly, the other woman’s name rolling off her tongue in annoyance.

“Thank god,” Michael sighed in relief, and Lane leaned back in surprise.

“You’re not looking for her?” she asked, her brows drawn together in confusion. Michael chuckled and Lane opened the door a little wider, seeing him standing there with hands in his pockets.

“Fuck no!” Michael grinned, and Lane grinned back at him. That made two of them then.

“Well…then what’s going on?” Lane asked him, crossing her arms over her chest as she remembered she was wearing that damn shirt still. If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with the queen she probably would have kept better track of her bag and then she could have changed clothes, but whatever! Lane shook her head, knowing there was nothing she could do about that right now other than go out and buy new clothes.

“I was looking for you,” Michael’s easy tone drug her out of her musings, and she looked up at him again, her brows drawn even closer together. He was looking for her?

“For me? Why?” Michael chuckled and Lane stared back at him in confusion still.

“Why not?” he asked her, his smile still in place.  “Can I come in? There’s people coming and I don’t want to get caught in the hallway…”

“Oh yeah, sorry!” Lane apologized, opening the door wider and stepping out of the way so he could come in. He walked into the room and looked around, laughing again as he did so. He turned back to Lane as she shut the door, one eyebrow cocked.

“I take it this is all her shit?” his voice was humorous, and some of Lane’s aggravation went away as she too surveyed the room.

“Yep. I lost my luggage, so all I’ve got is a backpack,” she said, walking over and picking up a bra that was laying next to the bed. She used two fingers to pick it up like it was infected and flung it on Joanna’s messed up bed, causing Michael to laugh again.

“Tell me again how you and Joanna ended up here together?” Michael asked as he pulled out a chair and sunk down on to it. Lane gave him a half smile as she sat on the edge of her bed, arms still crossed as she regarded him carefully.

“I didn’t.”

“Oh that’s right. You didn’t,” Michael agreed as he stood up. “What say you tell me over dinner?” He held out his hand to her and Lane thought she was going to fall off the bed and onto the floor. He was asking her out to dinner? Was she dreaming?

“Lane?” Michael asked again, smirking at her as she startled when he called her name.

“You’re asking me out to dinner?” she squeaked out, her voice unnaturally high in the small room. Michael’s smirk turned into a full on grin, eye crinkles and all and Lane hesitantly smiled back at him.

“Yes, silly girl. Would you please go out to dinner with me?” He held his hands out in front of him as if he were begging and although Lane’s smile grew, she was still wary of him. Why the hell would he be asking her out to dinner? When he could have anyone he wanted, to include princess Joanna?

“Why?” she asked him, wariness back in her voice.  Michael sighed and dropped his hands.

“Because you’re are the realest person I’ve met here, and I like you, and I want to hang out with you,” he stated plainly, before he broke out into another huge grin. “And you’re wearing my head on your chest.” Lane laughed, holding her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

“Yeah, there’s that…” She laughed again as she looked down at her chest.

“Exactly. What are the odds, Laney?” Michael asked her, doing his best to be serious although she could see he wanted to laugh. Lane felt warmth rush over her as he called her "Laney" rather than Lane, although why she had no fucking idea. People called her Laney all the time, but when it rolled off Michael’s tongue it sounded so much better..

“Well I lost my luggage, so I would have changed,” Lane said, trying to get serious again but laughing as Michael’s face fell. He placed a hand over his heart as he pretended to be wounded.

“That cuts deep, love.”

Smiling again, Lane stood up and adjusted said shirt, picking at imaginary lint as she did so and looked up at Michael. “I’m sorry, but I have nothing else to wear.” She shrugged her shoulders as she looked around. “And no, I’m not wearing anything Joanna brought, thank you very much.”

“Good,” Michael agreed. “It’s all a little.... distasteful... if I’m to be honest, and doesn’t suit you.” He winked at her and Lane laughed again.

“You look fine to me, sweetheart,” Michael said, coming to stand in front of her and holding out his hand once again and Lane chewed on her lower lip in indecision. “Please come out with me. We’ll go shopping if you’d like?” he offered, and Lane scrunched up her nose in distaste.

“Shopping’s not my thing, so you’re off the hook.”

“That’s a relief. I hate shopping. Now come on, Laney.” He wiggled his fingers, urging her to take his hand. “Come out with me, sweetheart.” Lane sighed as she stared at him a moment longer, the sensible urge to stay holed up in her room quickly outweighed by the outrageous possibility of being able to hang out with Michael.  Outrageous won by a landslide.

“Alright, Fassbender, but only for a little while,” she said, grabbing her cell before placing her hand in his. That warmth spread over her body again, that electric current of awareness as their skin met. She hoped Michael didn’t notice the blush that spread across her cheeks at his touch, or the goosebumps that broke out over her skin. If he did, he didn’t make it known, god bless him.


	3. Chapter 3

They strolled along streets in and around the Bayside Marketplace, both carrying bags and trying to sip their drinks that they had picked up along the way. Michael had insisted on buying Lane’s things, arguing that she deserved recompense for having to deal with Joanna. Lane had argued against it, but ultimately he won out, and now she had jeans and shirts, and new Chucks, and even a few baseball hats that she would probably never wear. For someone who hated shopping, he had surely made a dent in her meager wardrobe in a very small amount of time.

“Want to take a break?” Michael gestured to an empty table off to the side, one that had been fortunately missed by all the passersby. Lane nodded gratefully and followed Michael to the table, dropping her bags in relief. Michael turned sideways on the bench seat and propped his elbow up on the table as he looked at Lane. She felt him staring and looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“What?” she asked him, wariness in her voice again. Why was he staring at her?

“Nothing,” he replied, scratching at his jaw with his fingers, the sound of his fingernails through his stubble audible. Lane turned to look at him in annoyance, her lips pressed together tightly.

“It’s something. Why are you looking at me like a weirdo?” She stared back at him as she waited for an answer. It was incredibly hard to maintain eye contact with him when he was looking at her like that. Very hard, and she almost gave up and looked away when he shrugged his shoulders and looked out over the people walking by.

“We’ve been out all day and you’ve not once acted like a fan, even though you’ve seen at least one of my movies.” He shrugged again, and turned around, lifting his leg over the bench to sit straight. “I’ve had Joanna hanging off of me all fucking day, along with some of the others and it gets tiring. Annoying.” His jaw hardened and Lane caught a brief glimpse of how aggravating it must be to constantly have someone around, to have cameras in your face for every little thing.

“So when I saw you hiding in the corner,” he grinned now as he glanced over at her, “it was pretty fucking awesome. Today you just confirmed what I thought of you.”

“And what is that?” Lane asked him, curiousity getting the better of her.

“Normal, down-to-earth - whatever you want to call it. I don’t feel like an actor around you, like a commodity. I feel like Michael, and that’s something that I rarely get.” His voice had turned somber now, and again Lane wondered what it must be like to never be able to relax, to know that eventually your picture would end up in some rag magazine. “It’s a good feeling, Laney,” he finished quietly, and Lane smiled a tiny smile to herself.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad, Michael.” Lane bumped his shoulder with hers, still smiling as she tried to alleviate the too-serious mood.

“Me too, Laney,” Michael replied, bumping her back with his shoulder. “Me too.”

They sat there in companionable silence for some time, sipping on their drinks and people-watching. Neither one felt the need to fill up the silence with words, only occasionally one bumping the other as they pointed something out of interest. As the crowd started getting a bit rowdier, Lane looked down at her phone and gasped. It was nearly 11pm! How the fuck had time gotten away from them so quickly?

“I think I need to get back, Michael,” she said as she stood up and stretched. “Don’t you guys have to finish the shoot tomorrow?”  Michael grimaced as he too stood, turning and twisting as he tried to stretch out his back.

“Fucking yes,” he grumbled and Lane tried to hide her grin. She could only imagine how annoying it would be to work with princess Joanna.  Just the thought of her erased the grin off of Lane’s face, and she too grimaced. Michael looked at her and chuckled, assuming they were thinking along the same lines.

“At least you don’t have to sleep with her,” Lane grumbled back as she threw away her drink and picked up her bags. Michael laughed out loud and Lane laughed too, his laugh being infectious.

“You’re right about that, love,” he agreed as he picked up his bags as well. “Damn but she’s something else.” He shook his head at Lane, feeling sorry for her having to go back to that room with Joanna. He held his hand out to her, neither of them having drinks anymore, and he smiled as she shyly took his hand. “You ready?”

“Yep,” Lane said softly, smiling up at him as they started walking back to the hotel.

* * *

 

 

“So…” Lane trailed off, an uncomfortable silence having settled over them as they stood before her hotel room door. Michael leaned against the opposite wall, his hands shoved loosely in his pocket as he looked at her. How the fuck he managed to make her feel so hot with a look, she would never know. To say the man was intense and overwhelming was an understatement. She imagined it would be hard as fuck to win a staring contest with him...  She cleared her throat and looked down the hall, trying to regain her composure, as she took a deep breath and looked back at Michael.

“Thank you for dragging me out of my room, Michael,” she began, smiling gratefully at him. “And thanks for the clothes, and the shoes, and the hats,” she laughed and Michael laughed as well.

“You’re welcome, Laney. Was my pleasure, believe me,” he murmured as he pushed off the wall and moved towards her. He tucked an errant strand of hair back behind her ear, and Lane’s breath caught, the intimate gesture socking her in the gut. Michael trailed a finger loosely along her ear, and then to her jaw, his eyes on her lips before he looked back up and met her eyes. Lane couldn’t breathe. She really couldn’t, his fingers sending what she could only describe as tingles throughout her body.

“You’re so pretty, Laney,” Michael murmured, his fingertip on her chin as he tilted her face up to him. “If I kissed you right now, what would you do?”

Lane blinked up at him, unable to form words that even remotely made sense. It was only when he cupped her cheeks and leaned down that she was jolted back into reality, her hands pushing at his as she pulled away from him. She backed up into the door and frantically reached into her pocket for the key. Michael stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Laney?” he asked, walking towards her, but stopped when Lane held up her hand.

“Please don’t, Michael,” she begged. “I’ve had such a good time with you, and I appreciate it, but I really can’t do this okay? Let’s just leave well enough alone, right?” She finally opened the door and grabbed her bags and set them down inside as she moved behind the door and peered back out at him. Michael was still staring at her in confusion.

“I don’t get it, Laney,” he said, stepping forward once again. Lane stood half hidden behind the door, almost using it as a shield. “I thought we had a good time. I mean..did I read something wrong?”

“Nope!” Lane’s voice was extremely high again, anxiety rising as she stared out at him. “Everything was perfect, Michael, and again thank you. I just can’t do this right now and I don’t want to confuse anything with reality. So have a good evening, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” She attempted to close the door, but Michael’s hand was braced against it, preventing it from shutting. His brows were drawn even closer together, still trying to figure out what was going on.

“Laney! Seriously, tell me what I did wrong, okay?” Michael was aggravated now, his tone a little harsher as he spoke. “Are you married?”

“No,” Lane whispered quietly, her breath catching as she felt that familiar stab of pain shoot through her heart.

“Then what the fuck? A boyfriend?” Michael argued, not noticing the change in her from where he was standing.

“I just can’t, okay?” Lane whimpered, trying to hold herself together and not fall apart in front of him.

“Laney, look-” Michael began, only to curse out loud when Joanna and a friend came stumbling down the hallway towards him.  Joanna made it to Michael and not-so-casually draped herself over him, laughing as she did so.

“Mikey!” she purred, her voice husky as she wriggled against him. “Why did you leave us?” Lane almost vomited as she watched Joanna pout, batting her fake-ass eyelashes up at Michael. Michael untangled himself from Joanna, much to her dismay, and moved back away from the two women.   Joanna - undeterred -  gave him another pout and grabbed his hand and drug him in the room with her and her friend. Lane had to literally jump out of the way or she would have gotten crushed against the wall as Joanna barged in, oblivious to her presence behind the door. Joanna flopped down on the bed along with her friend, laughing and giggling as Michael untangled himself from the two women and walked back over to Lane who was again standing in the doorway.

“What did I do wrong?” he asked again, only loud enough for her ears. “Tell me so I can fix it, Laney.” Lane looked down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes for fear of losing control of her tightly held-together emotions.

“You did nothing wrong, Michael,” she whispered, a ghost of a smile appearing. “Everything was perfect, actually.”

He leaned down lower, coming nose to nose with her so that he could meet her eyes.  “Then what, Laney? What’s the matter, love?”

Lane shook her head sadly, the smile gone, her mouth flattened as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

“Please, Michael. I can’t. Please forget it, okay? Please leave.” She was begging him, blinking rapidly as she did so.

“Mikey!” Joanna’s voice called from the bed and both looked back, Lane gasping in horror as she saw Joanna was topless, her breasts only covered by her hands. The other woman was laughing, drinking from a bottle of something as she crawled over the bed. “Come join us, Mikey!”

Michael rolled his eyes in disgust and looked back at Lane, aggravation clearly evident on his beautiful features.

“You’re really gonna stay here with that shit?” He jerked his finger back at the two women rolling around on the bed like idiots, and Lane sighed, knowing she had no choice.

“I don’t have a choice, Michael.”

“Yes you do,” he said confidently. “Grab your stuff and come with me. I have two bedrooms in my suite, and you can take one.”

“Michael!” Lane gasped, looking at him in horror. “I’m not spending the night with you!”

“I’m not asking you to sleep with me. I’m giving you a place to stay.” He looked back at the idiots on the bed, shaking his head in disgust again. “I won’t try anything weird, Laney. Those two are going to go all night, and you’ll never get any sleep. Just come with me, please.”

Lane looked back at Joanna, her eyebrows shooting up at the sky as she watched the one girl – Lane had no idea who she fucking was – crawl all over Joanna and straddle her. What in the fuck??

“Me or them, Laney,” Michael urged her. Lane looked back at him, her tone serious when she spoke. She held up a finger and pointed at him.

“Just to sleep, Michael. Nothing crazy, okay?” she warned him, and he held his hands up, palms facing her.

“Agreed. Grab your things and let’s get out of here before they realize we’re still here.” Michael helped Lane grab her things and carried them out the room. All the while Lane’s mind was running, wondering if she’d made a monumental mistake by following Michael out that door.


	4. Chapter 4

“Wow,” Lane mumbled as she took in Michael’s room in awe. Way bigger and way better than hers and Joanna’s! “This must have cost a pretty penny.”

She walked over to the wall of windows that opened up to downtown Miami, the city still very much alive. Michael followed behind her and pulled out a stool from the bar and sat down, his eyes following Lane’s every move. Lane hugged herself tightly as she continued to stare out the window, the fine hair on the back of her neck standing up as she grew more and more nervous. She was in Michael’s room. Alone with him in his room and she didn’t know how she felt about that, if she were to be honest.

“So,” Michael began and Lane jumped a bit, his voice sounding very loud in the huge room. “Care to tell me what happened back there?”

Lane turned to look at him, shivering again although the room was not even remotely cool. She didn’t know where to look, or what to say, the whole situation having gotten entirely too intimate entirely too fast. She glanced at him briefly before turning back and looking out the window and shrugging.

“I overreacted, Michael, and I am sorry.”

“Laney. Look,” Michael stood up and moved to stand next to her, causing Lane to involuntarily shift away from him.  Michael’s mouth tightened at the movement but he didn’t draw attention to it.  “Was I too forward, love? If I was, please tell me.”

“Yes,” Lane admitted, still not looking at him. Michael nodded, relieved to be getting some understanding of what was going on, even if it was a tiny bit.

“You aren’t married then?” Michael asked hesitantly, watching her closely as her mouth compressed in a tight line. He couldn’t tell if it was aggravation or what.

“Nope. Never got that far,” Lane replied, glancing at him briefly with a tight smile. She was indeed getting more and more aggravated. Just fucking drop it, please…

“Never got that far? What does that mean? Are you engaged?” Michael pressed, trying to be as patient as possible, but it was like pulling teeth with her.

“I was, yes.” Lane walked away from the window, offering up nothing further as she moved towards her bag. Michael followed her, confused and a little aggravated for sure.  Lane grabbed her cell phone and plopped down on the loveseat and began poking at her phone. Michael sat down on the couch opposite her and ran a hand through his stubble as he stared at her.

“Ok. Not married, but close,” he began again. “Look – Laney – I’m fairly simple. Can you just be straightforward with me? I feel like I am interrogating you.”

Lane looked at him pointedly. “How do you think I feel?”

They stared at each other for a moment longer, neither willing to back down, but Lane finally looked away and began messing with her phone once again. Michael sighed deeply and stood up, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at her.

“Well I won’t press anymore, Laney.” He picked up his cell and motioned to a door off behind Lane’s couch. “That’s the spare room there. I’ve not even been in there, but I know there’s a bathroom.” Lane turned and looked over her shoulder briefly, and turned back, nodding at Michael, her face expressionless.

“I’m going to get a shower and get in bed, then,” he said quietly as he walked towards the room on the opposite side of the living area. He turned when he reached his door and looked back at Lane. “If you need anything let me know, right?”

“Yep,” Lane replied, still not looking at him as she too stood and grabbed her cell phone. She heard Michael’s door shut and she sank back down on the couch, letting out the breath she had been holding.

Her neck and back were aching with the strain of trying to maintain her composure, and she could feel a headache setting in. Her hands were shaking and she felt sick at her stomach, the questions Michael asked were bringing up way too many memories. Shit that she absolutely didn’t want to deal with. Even after a year, that wound was still just as fresh as the day it happened, the pain just as agonizing. It still made her stomach roil, that feeling nausea and dread washing over her again. She slowly stood, taking another deep breath as she walked over and grabbed her things and carried them into the guest room. Not even bothering with a shower or anything else, she dropped down on the bed and wrapped up in the blankets, finally letting go of everything she had been holding in for the past few days, and sinking down once again into the dreams that she could only escape for so long…


	5. Chapter 5

**59 weeks, 1 day, 5 hours, and 29 minutes ago...**

 

“You’re so crazy, Eddie!” Lane laughed at the screen, kissing it again playfully. Skype was their nightly ritual when he was downrange, the one thing that kept them going when the distance kept them apart.

"Crazy about you, Laney-girl," Eddie replied and Lane grinned, her heart nearly bursting with love for this man before her.

"I can't wait for this to be over, Eddie," Lane muttered, trying not to sound petulant. Eddie grinned back at her from the screen, and Lane couldn't resist him, smiling a little as well.

"I know baby, but this money is good for us. It'll help us out with the wedding, and everything else, and it'll be over with soon enough. Probably before the milk expires," he slid in slyly and Lane's face lit up in happiness. She knew they couldn't talk about specifics, but that was Eddie's way of telling her he was coming home soon. Probably less than two weeks and he'd be home! Eddie shook his head in warning and held a finger up to his lips, and Lane nodded, understanding him without having to be told. They grinned at each other for a few moments, but their time together was cut short all too soon.

“I gotta go, babe. It’s super late here, and I’ve got a mission tomorrow,” Eddie said reluctantly and Lane fought back tears of frustration and anger, and not a little fear.

She knew what mission meant: patrols. She hated when he had patrols, absolutely hated it, and more so now after everything that had happened in the past few days. She rarely slept when he was downrange, and when she knew he was out on the streets of Kabul it was even worse. She would stay up and watch the news, knowing that it would drive her insane but she couldn’t turn away. It was like watching a train wreck – you had to look even though you knew it was going to be bad. 

“Call me when you get back?” Lane said, trying to keep her voice neutral and not let Eddie know just how stressed she was. She watched as he grinned back at her from across the world, his face lighting up and that dimple showing that she loved so much.If she could just reach through the screen and grab his face she'd be content for a very long while, dammit!

“Don’t worry, babe,” he said gently, and Lane blinked rapidly, fighting to the end to not cry. “Same story, different day, right? I’ll call you when I get back and we’ll talk about the wedding, okay?” Lane laughed, smiling through her tears at him.

“Just come home to me and we’ll talk about it in person, okay?” She could barely talk, her emotions choking her.

“Love you, Laney,” Eddie grinned and blew her a kiss. Lane blew one back at him and he winked at her. “Talk to you in a few hours, babe. Get some sleep.”

“Okay. I love you, Eddie. Please be safe, okay?” Lane whispered, unable to speak out loud any longer. Good byes were the worst and she was terrified to let him go.

“Good night, babe.”

“Good night, Eddie.”

That was the last time Lane ever spoke with her fiancé.


	6. Chapter 6

_“Lane….sweetheart?” Lane’s mother called, pulling her back out of the darkness where she was trying to hide. Maybe if she just pretended to sleep they would leave her alone. All she wanted to do was sleep.. “Laney. Baby?” Lane’s mother called again, and Lane could no longer ignore the gentle tapping at her arm. She cracked open one crusty eye, the gritty feeling in her eyes quickly becoming the norm._

_“What, mom?”_

_“There are some soldiers here that would like to speak to you,” her mother answered apologetically. “I’m sorry baby, and I know you want to sleep, but if you just go sign this paperwork, I promise we’ll get you right back to bed.”_

_Lane sat up slowly, feeling the room spin. She was so weak and so dizzy, and her stomach growled. When was the last time she’d eaten anything? She couldn’t remember, and she pinched at the bridge of her nose as she tried to concentrate._

_“Soldiers?” she asked her mother, looking around the room slowly. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was go to sleep. She started to lay back down, but her father reached out and pulled her back up, his arms strong yet gentle under her elbows._

_“Laney baby you have to get up.” Her father spoke a little louder to Lane, his deep voice gentle but firm. “Let me help you up and we’ll get this taken care of, and then your mother and I will get you right back in bed, sweetheart.”_

_“Ok…okay dad,” Lane agreed, nodding her head numbly. She slowly swung her legs to the side and let them dangle off the bed, wincing at the dizziness as her father helped lift her up off the bed. She stood, swaying unsteadily, her hands gripping her father as tight as she could as she waited for the dizziness to pass. She was so very weak._

_“Laney-bug, you have to eat.” Her father’s voice was gentle still, but Lane could hear the frustration in his voice. “You’re wasting away right in front of me, sweetheart.”_

_“Okay dad,” Lane agreed again, not caring one way or the other. She just wanted to go back to bed and never get up, to let that wonderful darkness pull her back under._

_“Let’s get you out here and get this over with, okay?” Lane, along with her mother and father, made their way out into the living room where 3 soldiers were waiting._

_They were the casualty notification team for Eddie’s brigade. Major Johnston was the casualty notification officer, and he, along with the other two individuals, would be assisting Lane with whatever she needed. The next few hours went by in a blur, with Lane shaking her head and nodding when appropriate, signing where she needed to sign, and finally shaking hands with the officer at the end. As the assistance team was getting ready to leave, Lane perked up for a just a moment, needing to ask a question that she knew had no answer. She had already asked once before at the initial notification, but maybe these men had more knowledge. She had to know._

_“Was it quick?” Lane whispered, her eyes glossy as she stared at the major. He turned back around, his face weary with his own grief at having to perform such a duty.  Lane's mother cried softly in the corner, her father's arm wrapped around her.  “Did he suffer?”_

_“Ma’am, I am sorry but we don’t have that knowledge,” Major Johnston replied, his voice gruff with his own emotion. It was never easy to lose a soldier, to lose a battle buddy even if you didn’t know them personally._

_“It’s okay,” Lane whispered again, trying to smile through her grief. The major nodded at her and stepped through the front door as her father held it open for them. Her father spoke with the men briefly, shaking their hands and finally closing the door behind them. Afterwards, her mother and father helped Lane back to her bed, watching sadly as she sank back down into the blankets, sleep overcoming her once again._

* * *

 

“Eddie….please….” Lane thrashed in the sheets, a heavy weight on her chest as she struggled to breathe. “Please don’t go….Eddie!” Lane screamed, waking herself up from the nearly constant nightmare. She sat up warily, her chest heaving as she looked around in confusion at her unfamiliar surroundings. Her eyes slowly came into focus and she watched as the door to the room slowly opened and she screamed again, closing her eyes in fear of what was to come. She put her hands over her ears and started screaming, hoping that the pain would go away. If she just ignored it long enough, it would go away. It wasn’t real, it would go away, and Eddie would come back to her.

“Lane!”

Hands on her arms, gripping her and pulling at her and Lane cried again, shaking her head in denial.

“Laney!”

“I don’t want to hear it! Don’t say it! It’s not true!” She cried frantically, and she would scream it over and over until it stuck. Eddie was not dead, he was not dead, and he was coming home. She would not believe it.

“Lane, baby please,” Michael said softly, pulling at her arms with a bit more force. “Laney. It’s Michael. Please look at me.” He attempted to pull her hands down from her ears, but she only thrashed harder against him. What in the fuck was going on? And who the fuck was Eddie?

“Please go..please go..please go…please go,” Lane repeated over and over, rocking slowly as she did so.

Making a split decision out of sheer helplessness, Michael picked Lane up and lifted her onto his lap, leaning back against the headboard as he held her tightly, whispering soft words of encouragement at her temple as she struggled against him. After a few minutes, Lane slowly began to relax, her arms falling slack against his chest and her breathing evening out into a steady rhythm. Michael carefully and slowly scooted down, adjusting Lane so that she was resting against his chest, her head tucked against his shoulder. He pulled the sheets over them, making sure Lane was covered. She had thankfully drifted back off into a peaceful sleep, her breathing steady against his chest.

He, on the other hand, could not sleep, his brain trying to wrap around what had just happened and feeling an extreme need to make sure that Lane was not in any danger. It would be a few hours later, when he was completely sure that Lane was okay, that he would finally close his own eyes and give into the exhaustion that was pulling him under.


	7. Chapter 7

Lane woke up to the sound of Michael cursing, his voice quiet but she could hear the aggravation. She sat up and looked around, still groggy from sleep. The first thing that struck her as odd was that she was not in the room she went to sleep in. The second was the fact that Michael was hopping around in nothing but a pair of boxers on, trying desperately to pull up his jeans with one hand and to talk on the phone with the other hand.

“I fucking know, Greg! I’m getting dressed now!” He succeeded in pulling his jeans up, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he zipped and buttoned the jeans. He dropped the phone and Lane heard another loud “Fuck!” fly out of his mouth as he hastily pulled a t-shirt on over his head. He glanced back at Lane, and took a double-take as he caught her watching him. He leaned down and grabbed his phone, holding it up to his ear as he continued watching Lane.

“Give me 15 minutes,” he said, his eyes never leaving Lane’s. “Yes. Shit. I know….I know, Greg. Right….see you then. Bye.” He hung up the phone and dropped it on the table by the television before walking over to Lane and sitting down gently.

“How are you, Laney?” Michael asked gently, patting her leg that was closest to him.

“Why am I in here, Michael?” Lane asked suspiciously, looking around the room once more before looking back at him. “Why am I in your bed and not mine?”

“You had a nightmare, love. Or something – I don’t know,” Michael explained, a gentle smile on his face. “I went over there to see what was wrong and you were going crazy, thrashing about and all. I stayed with you for some time before I came back over here.”

“That doesn’t explain how I ended up in your bed, Michael,” Lane pointed out once again.

“About thirty minutes after I came back over here, I heard you fussing again, so I went back to you, Laney,” Michael said, his voice soft with concern. “You’d gotten…. sick, love. All over the bed, and it was either put you on the couch or keep you with me.” He shrugged and smiled again. “I kept you with me, to make sure you were safe.”

Lane’s face heated and just then she noticed that horrible taste in her mouth. That taste that she never wanted to taste again, memories of the nights where she spent retching her guts out until she could barely breathe quickly flooded her brain. She lowered her head and closed her eyes in shame, her hands shielding her face from Michael.

“I’m sorry, Michael,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Michael pulled one hand away from her face and tilted her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet his. He was still smiling at her and Lane blinked back at him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. Nothing to apologize for, right?” Michael pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it, his lips lightly brushing against her skin and sending a different kind of warmth rushing through her body. Just as quickly he laid her hand back down on her lap and stood up.

“I’ve got to get to this fucking shoot, Laney. I’m so damn late,” he grinned as he walked over to the table and snatched up his phone. He looked back at Lane as he shoved his wallet in his pocket. “Why don’t you relax here til I get back and we can go from there? Order room service. Take a nap?” he asked her as he ran a hand through his incredibly messy hair.

Lane shook her head as she started to slide off the bed. It was only then that she realized she was wearing nothing but a t-shirt over her bra and panties - and the t-shirt wasn’t hers. She looked back up at Michael, one brow cocked in disbelief.  Michael shrugged as he walked towards the door.

“It was everywhere, Laney. Go see for yourself.” He started to pull the door shut behind him but not before he turned back to look at her. “I’m going now, so you can get a shower or whatever. I left a room key on the table there by the television.” He turned back around to leave and Lane called out to him.

“Thank you, Michael,” she said gratefully, humbled by his actions with her. He turned back and winked at her, flashing that signature sharky smile of his.

“You’re welcome, Laney. See you in a few.” With that he walked out and closed the bedroom door behind him.

Lane waited for a few minutes, unsure if he was going to pop back in or not, before she climbed off the bed. She had wrapped the sheet around her as she shuffled over to the door and opened it and peered outside. He was gone. She breathed a sigh of relief and walked out into the living area to get her bags that were still sitting by the couch. Out of curiousity, she opened the door to her room and the smell hit her. Yep. There was definitely something bad in this room. Her nose screwed up in distaste as she closed the door behind her, embarrassment washing over her anew.  Michael probably thought she was a fucking lunatic, throwing up all over the bed and shit. She grimaced as she made her way back into his bathroom and turned on the shower, being nosy as the water got hot. She looked over his items on the sink, from his Axe deodorant to his cheap toothbrush. He had few receipts laying next the deodorant and Lane’s nosiness again got the best of her as she dug through them.

$22.67 at the liquor store, $54.04 at some department store, $18.32 at Walgreens’s…

Lane dropped the receipts back onto the counter, trying to make sure they were laying in a position as close to what they were before. She threw the sheet over by the door and stripped off her clothing, her cheeks heating again in shame as she thought about Michael removing her clothing and putting his t-shirt on her. She pulled the shirt off and threw it next to the sheet before pulling off her panties and bra. She quickly stepped in the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water cascaded over her body. She absentmindedly reached for the shower gel and squirted it in her hand, the smell filling up her nostrils reminding her that she wasn’t in her shower and she didn’t have her Bath and Body Works shower gel. She turned the bottle around in her hand and grimaced. Axe Dark Temptation body wash .

She snorted loudly, the irony of that not lost on her. Michael might not be dark, but he was definitely tempting, and she would have to seriously watch herself around him.  Especially the way he smiled, she grinned to herself, thinking about how that made her weak in the knees when his nose crinkled up the way it did.

She stopped washing her body and stood under the water as the guilt overtook her with the direction her thoughts were taking her in, the shower gel dropping from her hands as she sank down to the floor of the shower and scooted up against the wall. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, her tears silently mixing with the water as it continued to fall around her. How could she even be thinking about Michael in that way? It was too soon after Eddie, the pain still too close at home, and she had no business being attracted to Michael! Seriously, what the fuck did that say about her if she was so quickly attracted to someone else after losing the person she was supposedly in love with? Lane continued crying, images of times with Eddie flashing through her mind, the engagement, the future wedding. The guilt was overwhelming, the feeling of shame as she tried to squash the feelings and thoughts she had surrounding Michael, knowing just how wrong and disgusting they were.  She sucked in a deep, shaky breath and stood up, the decision made. She would get cleaned up and get out of here. She couldn’t be around Michael any longer. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair to Eddie.


	8. Chapter 8

Lane walked out of the hotel doors and kept walking, hoping to outrun the feelings, to leave those memories behind once again. As she walked aimlessly through the holiday crowds and tourists, her mind would not be quiet. All she could think about was Eddie…and Michael. She located an empty seat at a nearby table and moved to it quickly so she could sit down. She stared out into the crowd, watching as people wandered by in the early afternoon sun. 

She was so confused, so very confused. One part of her – the logical part – knew that her being attracted to Michael did not in any way diminish her feelings for Eddie. It had been more than a year, and her family and friends were constantly telling her that she needed to move on, to get on with her life, but she’d never been able to do it so far. What she was waiting for, she did not know. Eddie was never coming back. She felt that familiar lump in her throat, the one that threatened to choke her whenever she thought about a life without Eddie. She knew he was never coming back. Her brain knew it – but her heart didn’t still. One tiny, little part of her thought that just maybe one day he would walk back through the doors and they would get married and live happily ever after. 

“Hello,” a small voice called to her, and Lane looked down under the table. She was surprised to see a small boy, probably no more than 5 years old, staring back at her. His dark, brown curls and deep, blue eyes brought a smile to her face, momentarily pushing aside her self-pity. 

“Hi,” Lane replied, leaning down and smiling at the child. “Are you lost, sweetheart?” She looked around the crowd and then back down to the boy, who was now sitting next to her on the bench. “Where’s your mommy and daddy, baby?”

The boy shrugged and Lane’s heart broke as his tiny lip started to quiver. He scooted closer to her and leaned his head against her arm. 

“I think I am lost,” he said, his small voice frightened as he looked around at the crowds wandering through.

“Well, that’s no good!” Lane tried to be cheerful, not wanting to stress the boy anymore. Thank goodness he had found her and not some crazy person! “Let’s go over there to that nice police officer. You see him?” She pointed at the police officer standing across the street, and the little boy nodded his curly head at her. 

“Let’s go over there and talk to him. He’ll know how to find your mommy and daddy, okay?” Lane stood up and held her hand out, smiling gently as the boy gripped her hand tightly. “What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Joshua.” He smiled up at her, his dimples showing on his precious cheeks. 

“Well, Joshua, let’s go find your parents, okay?” 

He nodded his tiny head at her and hand in hand they walked over to the police. It was less than 15 minutes later that Joshua’s parents arrived, frantic and teary as they finally found their little boy that had wandered off. Joshua’s mother and father couldn’t thank Lane enough, hugging her repeatedly and crying. Lane blinked back tears as she watched the family walk away, waving at Joshua as he waved to her over his daddy’s shoulder. When they were finally out of sight, she walked back to the still-empty seat and sat down again, her heart heavy. Eddie had curly hair like that, only tamed by the military, and his eyes were just as blue. A deep blue that she could get lost in when he stared at her the way he used to. Would their babies have looked like that? Would they have her brown eyes and brown hair, or would they have looked like Eddie? Eddie had wanted four babies and Lane had wanted only one, but she would have given him anything he wanted, even if that meant having a lot of babies. 

She choked back another sob and tried to swallow that damn lump as she told herself again that she would never know what their babies would look like. She was 34 years old and her fiancé was dead and she didn’t know what to do, or where to go from here. She had been wandering around aimlessly for the last year, living off of savings and not much else. She’d quit her job when Eddie had been killed, and she had done nothing since other than float from place to place. Eddie had left her as his beneficiary should something happened, so she had plenty of money, but it mattered not when you had nothing to spend it on. She just didn’t care anymore - about anyone or anything. She just didn’t care. 

Which is why the feelings she felt around Michael were so strange, so foreign to her. She’d never really felt those types of physical responses outside of Eddie, and she didn’t know what to do about it. She knew Michael was attractive – he was a damn actor and everyone thought he was attractive, but when he touched her she felt things. When he looked at her, and smiled at her, she felt things, things deep down inside that only Eddie had ever been able to tap in to. Did that mean she didn’t love Eddie that much, or that she was fooling herself with him? What if she were married to Eddie? Would she still feel the same if she by some miracle ran into Michael while she was married to Eddie? Lane snorted and shook her head, thinking just how idiotic she sounded.

“You’ll never know, you fucking idiot,” she mumbled to herself in anger. She would never know what she would - or would not - have done with Eddie because she was never going to have anything with Eddie. Those dreams were dead – just like he was, and just like she was inside. It was all dead and gone. 

She took a deep breath and stood up. She needed to get back to her hotel room before Joanna got there. She knew that stupid idiot was probably pissed at her. Lord forbid Joanna should have to do anything on her own. She made her way back out into the flow of people and headed back to the hotel. She only had 2 more nights – including tonight – to deal with this fucking idiot. Then she could go back home and get back to ignoring reality for a little while longer.


	9. Chapter 9

Around 4pm Joanna came back to the room, her eyebrows drawn together as she glared at Lane. She threw her things down on her bed and stared at Lane, hands on her too-perfect hips.

“Well. Nice of you to come back, Lane.” Joanna was positively growling, her teeth clenched together. Lane looked up from her book and gave Joanna the briefest of acknowledgement before looking back down again.

“You’re welcome,” Lane replied sarcastically. She was not in the mood for Joanna’s bullshit today. Not in the slightest.

“Do you realize that I could have lost this job because of you?” Joanna hissed. She was not going to let this fucking go. Lane laid her book down and sat up.

 “What’s the problem, Joanna?”

“You are the problem,” she replied as she walked over to Lane and stood before her. “The only reason you came on this trip was to help me out, with whatever I needed. Instead you run off with Michael and screw around doing God know’s what, and he missed the shoot time! Not to mention that I needed you there for….for….stuff!” Joanna was practically screaming now and Lane stood up and glared up at her. Joanna was fucking tall – at least 5’10 and Lane was short, her 5’1 was no match for this bitch. Still, Lane would not back down from this prima donna. She pushed past Joanna and started packing her things, shoving them in her bag quietly.

“Oh so you’re leaving now, then?” Joanna hissed. She was clearly used to getting her way, Lane thought with a silent chuckle. _Not this time, bitch! Not this time!_

“Yep.”

“Good. I can do what I want now without having to worry about you being here,” Joanna said, her voice sickeningly sweet as she stared at her perfectly maintained manicure. “Maybe I’ll even bring Michael back tonight…”

Lane stood up straight, the veiled challenge not going unnoticed. She turned back to Joanna and smiled at her.

“You do whatever the fuck you want, Joanna.” She shook her head at her mockingly and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t give a fuck what you do. Or who you do it with.”

Joanna smiled back at Lane and arched her perfectly shaped eyebrow. “I’m fairly certain I’ll have Michael in here tonight, so please hurry and get your shit. He should be on his way now.”

Lane grabbed her bags and shoved her cell phone in her pocket as she made her way to the door. She didn’t have to worry about forgetting anything as she’d already lost her luggage and the things she did have had not been unpacked. She flung the door open and slammed it behind her as she stepped into the hallway. She walked to the elevator and pushed the button. She looked down both directions in the hallway, not wanting to run into Michael as she left. That wish flew out the window as the elevator door opened and Michael stood there, staring back at her.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Laney!” Michael growled, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the elevator. He reached out and pulled her bags in and pressed the button to close the doors. Lane stared at him, her mouth slack as she tried to process what just happened.

“Why the fuck did you leave like that?” Michael asked her as he leaned back against the elevator wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What?” Lane mumbled, still in shock.

“Why did you leave, Laney?” Michael asked again.

“I had them clean the room, Michael.”

“I know. Thank you. Why did you leave, Laney?” Michael pressed and Lane finally focused on him, her own eyebrows drawing together but in anger this time.

“Please don’t call me Laney anymore,” she ordered him, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

“Why?”

“Why? Why, Michael?” Lane felt her anger rising as she glared at him. “Just don’t, _Mikey!_ ”

Michael shrugged at her calling him Mikey.

“I don’t care if you call me that.” He uncrossed his arms and reached over and pressed the button to stop the elevator. “What gives, Laney?”

“Shouldn’t you be with Joanna right now?” Lane asked sarcastically, leaning over and harshly pressing the button to go downstairs. Michael snorted, and quickly pressed the button again to stop the elevator.

“I’m trying to avoid that woman at all costs!”

“You’re going to break the fucking thing!” Lane pressed the button to go down once more, looking at Michael in warning as she stood next to the control panel to guard it. When they finally reached the ground floor, Lane stepped out wordlessly and began walking to the front desk to get another room. She didn’t know if Michael followed her or not, and frankly she didn’t care. She needed to get away from him, and from Joanna, and from all this bullshit.

“I need a room, please.” Lane smiled at the receptionist as she pulled out her wallet and ID.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. We have no rooms available until tomorrow,” the receptionist replied apologetically. Lane stared back at her in disbelief.

“What do you mean? Not one room? I don’t care if it’s smoking, or whatever.”

“No. We don’t have any, I’m sorry. The convention downtown, combined with the tourists, and we’ve got nothing left. I’m sorry. You may want to try next door, but I am sure most are filled.” The receptionist pulled out a sheet with local hotels and handed it to Lane. “You may have to go uptown a bit to find some availability. I’m sorry again.”

Lane stared at her for a few moments before taking the paper and turning around, rolling her eyes in aggravation. She almost ran smack into Michael who was standing right behind her. Before she even realized what he was doing, he had reached down and pulled the bag of clothes from her hand and grabbed the paper out of her fingers, ignoring Lane’s gasp as he did so.

“I have a room you can stay in. No need to look elsewhere, Laney.”

Lane narrowed her eyes at him as she stared up at him. “Really? A repeat of last night?”

“That was all you, babe. I don’t know what happened, but I’d like to talk to you about it.”

Lane leaned over and snatched her bag out of his hand. She was so pissed off! Fucking Joanna, this fucking hotel, and now fucking Michael!! Fuck! She glared at him once again and ripped the paper back out of his fingers and started to march away, but was stopped by Michael’s hands on her shoulders. He guided her away from the reception area and over to a small seating area off to the side, out of the way and out of sight. Lane glared at him as she pulled out of his grasp.

“What the fuck, Michael?”

“Lane. Seriously. What’s the point of driving all around to find another room? There’s probably not any, just like she said,” Michael reasoned with her, and Lane felt some of her anger start to dissipate at the concern in his voice. “I didn’t try anything last night, Laney, and I won’t tonight. Just stay with me – stay in the guest room I mean.”

Lane looked out the window and to the busy street, her mind telling her one thing and her heart telling her something else. Run away, Lane. Run fast and don’t look back. That was what she needed to do.

“Lane?”

Lane inhaled deeply and let her shoulders drop in defeat as she turned to Michael. She was so tired of fighting everything all the time. At this point, she just wanted to find a bed and get in it - even if it was in Michael's room. All this shit with Michael was dragging up too many feelings, feelings that she wasn’t supposed to be feeling. If she could just get in bed and pull the covers up over her head, everything would be alright. She just wanted to sleep. For a very long time. Maybe forever....She sighed again and nodded at him wearily.

“Alright. I want to be left alone though. Please?”

“Right.” Michael gave her a half-smile, his eyes kind as he gently took her bag once again. He jerked his head at her and started walking. Lane followed after him silently. She shook her head at herself, wondering what kind of fucking mess she’d gotten herself into yet again.


	10. Chapter 10

Back in Michael’s suite once again, Lane warily walked to the guest room and opened the door. Smelled okay now at least, the room was cleaned, and the bed had been made. She grabbed her bags and deposited them on the chair in the corner and closed the door, not saying anything to Michael. The whole way back, the ride in the elevator and the walk down the hallway, she had been staring at his back. Watching the way the muscles played and bunched under his shirt, the easy stride with which he walked. "Smooth" was the best way to describe him. Smooth and sinful and tempting, and she needed to watch herself around him. He smelled good, and he was attractive, and fuck it all but he was nice to her! Why couldn’t he be an asshole? Or smell bad, or have bad breath?

Lane sat down on the end of the bed and lowered her head, covering her face with her with her hands as she tried to hold back the tears that wanted to escape. She was so ashamed of how weak she was, feeling so guilty with the way she was thinking about Michael. It was wrong and she needed to stop. If she could just stay away from him and keep to herself, she would be alright. She sucked in a few shaky breaths and reached for her phone. She needed to call her daddy. He was the only one that could ground her when she was flailing about, the only one that could bring her back from the brink that she wanted to throw herself over. She dialed the number and lay down on the bed, curling up in a fetal position as she waited for him to pick up.

“Laney-bug?” Her dad’s warm voice came through the phone and Lane immediately felt some relief. He was and had always been her anchor, even more so than her mother.

“Hi daddy,” Lane whispered into the phone, chewing on her nail as she blinked back tears.

“How’s Florida, sweetheart? Heather called earlier, said she hadn’t heard from you. Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Lane mumbled sadly, clenching her eyes shut tightly as she did so.

“What’s the matter, baby?” her father asked. “I can hear in your voice that you’re not alright.”

“It’s nothing, daddy.”

“No. Laney, it’s something. Tell me so I can help you, please,” her father urged her, and Lane took a shaky breath. He was the only one she could talk to and she needed someone now.

“I hate Joanna,” Lane began, smiling a bit when she heard her father chuckle over the phone.

“No surprise there, Laney-bug. I warned Heather about that, but that girl is as hard-headed as you are,” her father replied humorously. “I hope you understand Heather was only trying to help, baby. We’re all trying to help.”

“I know, daddy. I know, and I love you all.”

“Other than Joanna, how are things? Have you gotten a chance to explore the city?” Lane blushed as she remembered walking through the market with Michael, the easy way in which her hand fit in his as they wandered around. She liked holding his hand, liked the warmth that it brought to her too-cold body. She had been cold for so long and Michael was like a ray of sunshine, a warm, bright light that was pushing back at the clouds that were surrounding her for so long.

“Laney?”

“Oh…yeah…yeah I went down to the Bayside Market…with a friend…and it was good, daddy. Really good.” Lane smiled as she remembered Michael’s laugh as he pointed out some guy in a Batman costume. The guy was obviously too large for the costume, but damn if he didn’t strut through the market in it  -cape and all! Lane giggled, unable to control herself and her father noticed, laughing a bit himself.

“You’re laughing, baby. That’s good,” her father encouraged and Lane sobered, needing to ask a question but not sure how.

“Daddy, do you think it's too early for me to maybe think about liking someone else?” Blurting out always worked best for her, and Lane felt her face go up in flames as she lay there, waiting for her father’s response. She still had her eyes closed when he began talking.

“No, baby. It’s perfectly fine and it’s normal,” her father replied gently, and Lane opened her eyes as she listened. “Lane, Eddie’s been gone for over a year. And I know how much you loved him, and we all knew how much he loved you, but it is okay for you to move on sweetie. It’s what Eddie would have wanted.” Lane felt the tears slide down her cheeks and land on the bed, the drops hot as they flowed. She sniffled a bit and waited in silence. “Laney, listen to me. I am not going to ask you for information. You’re a grown woman and can do what you want to do. Just know this – it’s okay for you to have a life, baby.”

“I feel so guilty, dad,” Lane whispered, her voice strained under the weight of her grief that still held her captive.

“Why, baby? Do you think it means you loved Ed any less? Because it doesn’t, sweetie. It means you’re human,” her father said. “You’re human, Laney.”

“I know, dad. I just feel so much shame when I think about Eddie….and this other….person.” Lane closed her eyes, just saying Eddie’s name still bringing her to her knees and turning her stomach. God she missed him so much…

“Lane. Listen to me. I am going to tell you something you might not want to hear, but I love you and your mother loves you, and we can’t keep watching you kill yourself with grief,” her father began and Lane closed her eyes at what was to come. “Eddie’s not coming back, Lane. He’s not. You cannot keep living your life as if he will, because he’s not. That doesn’t mean you love him any less, or that you are doing anything wrong.”

Lane was sobbing now but her father continued.

“If the roles were reversed, and Eddie was still here, what would you want him to do? Would you want him to sit around and grieve for you forever, or would you want him to move on, to have a life and a family and to fall in love?”

“I’d want him to be happy,” Lane whispered between her sobs, knowing her father was telling the truth but it was so hard. It was so hard to let go, to let go of Eddie.

“Exactly. He would want the same for you, Laney. He loved you that much that he would want you to be happy, even if it weren’t with him, baby girl.” Lane tried to muffle her tears, not wanting her father to worry or worse, for Michael to hear. “Lane, let it out, baby. It’s been so long since you’ve grieved, and you need to let it go. Forgive yourself, and forgive Eddie, and let go, baby. Just let go, and let life happen, okay?”

“Okay,” Lane mumbled through her tears, hugging herself tightly as she clung to the phone.

“I love you, Laney-bug. I always will. You know that, right? And you know that you can always come to me, or your mother, or Heather, any of us. Right?”

“Yeah,” Lane hiccupped. “I love you, too, daddy. How’s mama?”

“She’s good, sweetheart. She’s actually out with her girlfriends, doing God knows what!” Lane laughed at her father, the wariness in his voice warming her heart. Her parents were shining examples of what true love looked like, and Lane wished she could be that lucky to find someone to share her life with the way her parents did.

“Who’s she with?”

“Rhonda? Rita? Something with an “R?” her father replied and Lane laughed again. “What?” he asked her, his tone suspicious as Lane continued to giggle.

“Robbie, daddy. Robbie,” Lane corrected him, laughing again. Robbie was Heather’s mother, and she was just as wild and free-spirited as her daughter. If Lane had to guess, she’d say her mother and Robbie were probably out being crazy somewhere, dancing on tables like they did at that Mexican restaurant that one time. Lane giggled, thinking her father had no idea just how wild her mother could get with the right people and the right environment.

“I don’t even want to know, sweetheart,” her father warned and Lane giggled again.

“My lips are sealed,” Lane giggled again.

“I love you, Laney-bug. You’re my only daughter and I want you to be happy, sweetheart,” her father began and Lane wanted to tear up again. “You have to let yourself be happy, though. Give yourself permission, Laney. Let life happen, okay?”

“Okay, daddy. I’ll try, and I love you, too,” Lane replied, sitting up and wiping at her face. She felt better, lighter even, almost as if some kind of weight was slowly being lifted off her shoulders. “Tell mama to call me when she gets in, or to text me, okay?”

“Sure thing, Laney-bug.”

“You gotta stop calling me that, dad!” Lane scrunched up her nose in distaste at her father’s nickname for her. She was 34 years old for crying out loud!

“Never, Laney-bug,” her father replied, and Lane couldn’t help but giggle again at him.

“Well, thanks for talking to me, daddy. It helped.”

“I hope so, sweetheart. Get some rest, enjoy yourself, and let what happens happen, okay?”

“Yes sir!” Lane giggled. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“All right sweetheart, talk to you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you, too daddy,” Lane replied and hung up her phone. She laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what to do now. It was after 6pm and she’d not eaten all day, her growling stomach reminding her of just how hungry she was. She didn’t want to leave this room, knowing that Michael was probably out there somewhere. Her father’s words ran through her mind again, telling her to just let life happen. Just let what happens, happen. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves before she walked out of the room. She got off the bed and walked to the bathroom, checking her reflection and grimacing as she saw how blotchy her face was.

“Dammit,” she mumbled to herself as she grabbed her bag that contained her makeup. She washed her face and hastily applied some powder, the only thing she had that may even out her skin tone. She shook her head at herself and gave up. There was no helping it. She made her way back out to the room and to the door, opening it slowly. Fuck. Michael was right there on the damn couch. And he was shirtless. Fuck.


	11. Chapter 11

“Hi,” Lane said quietly, forcing a smile as she walked up to Michael. He swallowed a forkful of noodles from his bowl, watching her warily as she sat on the other couch.

“Hi.” Michael took another bite of noodles, his eyes darting back and forth between his food and Lane.

“I think I need to find something to eat,” Lane began, eyeing Michael’s noodles appreciatively.

“There’s more of this in there, if that’s what you want,” Michael gestured to his bowl and Lane smiled.

“You sure?”

“Yep.” He took another bite and turned back to the television. Lane stood up and made herself a bowl of noodles. Imagine eating Ramen noodles in a hotel room with a famous actor. Who would have thought? She surveyed the kitchen as she waited for the noodles to finish cooking, taking in the cleanliness of the kitchen as she did so. Michael did not spread himself out at all. If he weren’t sitting on the couch, you’d never know he was here. The bell chimed and she opened the microwave door and took out her noodles, holding the hot bowl carefully. She slid it over the counter top and to the bar area, pulled out a stool and sat down. She could not eat in front of him. It was too awkward already.

She had barely taken one bite when Michael walked into the kitchen to put his bowl up. She nearly choked on her mouthful, watching the way his jeans hung low on his oh-so-slim hips. She swallowed hard and looked away, trying to look anywhere but at him. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer and turned to her.

“Beer? Or water? It’s all I’ve got, sorry,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“Uh..no..I’m good. Thanks,” Lane said, still not looking at him. Michael nodded and popped the lid off his beer and walked back into the living room silently. Lane ate quietly, her eyes fixed on the microwave. Awkward was now an understatement to describe the feeling that had settled over the room. She knew she had to talk to Michael, to explain, but damn if she didn’t want to. She at least owed him an explanation for her behavior. She finished up her noodles and took the bowl to the trash can. Not having anything else to do, she made her way back into the living room and sat on the couch opposite Michael. She looked at the television for a few moments, her anxiety rising as the silence ensued. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and turned back to Michael. Here goes nothing.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, her cheeks heating in embarrassment. Michael took another swig of his beer and glanced at her briefly, but turned his attention back to the television.

“For?” he asked her with another sip of beer.

“Everything. Last night, the hallway, today, leaving the room, throwing up in the room. All of it. I am sorry.”

Michael took another long sip of his beer and Lane immediately felt like she needed a beer, too. She stood and went quickly to the kitchen and pulled out a beer, opening it and taking a long drink herself. Feeling a little more in control, she carried her beer back to the couch and sat down again. Michael saw the beer in her hand and arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything for a moment. Lane sat there, her nerves on high alert as she nursed her beer.

“Who’s Eddie?” Michael asked bluntly, and Lane nearly choked on her beer. She slapped at her chest as she coughed, her face turning red as she struggled to catch her breath. Michael just stared at her impassively. When Lane was finally able to breathe, she leaned forward and looked down at her feet, turning the bottle in her hands slowly.

“My fiancé.”

“So you’re engaged?” Michael asked, and Lane could hear the annoyance that coated his words. She smiled without humor, her features strained as she looked up at him.

“Was. I was engaged. I no longer am.”

Michael sat forward now as well, his brow creased as he stared at her, waiting patiently for her to finish.

“I was engaged to be married, but….” Lane took a deep breath, that vise squeezing at her chest again as she struggled for words. “He….uh….he’s dead.” Lane looked down at her feet, concentrating on the patterns in her worn socks as she tried to maintain her composure. She needed to buy new socks, her orange toenails visible in these. She would get some-

“He’s dead?” Michael interrupted her thoughts, his voice conveying his shock.

“Yes.”

“Lane, I’m sorry, love. I meant no-“

Lane interrupted him, waving him off dismissively as she took another drink of her beer.

“How could you, Michael? It’s okay, really.” Lane glanced at him briefly, her eyes haunted as she sat back against the couch. She curled up in the corner of the couch, staring down at her knees as she continued. “He was a soldier in the Army. Deployed to Afghanistan.” Lane smiled now, memories of Eddie flooding her brain as she thought about how much he loved the Army. She was so proud of him, even now.

“He was coming home in maybe two weeks when it….when it…”  Lane shook her head and her mouth flattened. “You get the point,” she said quietly, unable to finish the statement. “We were getting married. We’d been together for about 4 years and I had finally agreed to marry him. He had asked me a hundred times, at least.” Lane’s voice had turned wistful, a ghost of a smile on her face again as she thought about what might have been.

“He was going to get out of the Army and we were going to settle down and he wanted four babies and I wanted one and we were going to have a farm, and travel the world, and visit New Zealand…and…….and..” Lane broke down again, her hands shaking as she placed the beer on the coffee table before she dropped it. In an instant Michael was at her side, his arms enveloping her tightly as he held her to his chest. Lane’s sobs wracked her body, her shoulders shaking as she purged her grief. She’d not cried like this since it happened, a deep, unrelenting tidal wave of emotion finally finding an outlet. Michael held her close, whispering against her temple that everything was going to be alright, that she was going to be alright, and that he was here and wouldn't let her go. He lifted her up and set her back down on his lap, holding her close as she cried into his neck, her hands folded against her chest.

"I've got you, Laney," Michael murmured against her hair, his hands rubbing up and down her arms soothingly. Lane snuggled into his neck, her lips tasting his skin by accident as she licked her lips. It was just enough to set her on fire, her need for intimacy so great that she couldn't control herself. Her hands slid up his chest and snaked into his hair, her fingers lightly tangling in the hair at the back of his neck. Michael ceased rubbing her arms, his fingers gripping her forearms tightly as Lane lightly kissed his neck.

"Lane, love, what are you doing?" Michael's voice was thick with his own desire, the feeling of her sitting on his lap and her lips at his neck too much.

“Make love to me, Michael,” Lane whispered against his neck as she brought her hand up to his cheek and tried to turn him to her. Michael pulled back and looked down at her in confusion.

“Lane…I don’t think this is a good idea, love.” Michael pulled her hands down and lifted Lane off his lap, setting her down next to him. He scooted away from her as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, his breathing labored.

Lane, however, was undeterred, her emotions and need overwhelming her and she crawled back over to him and straddled him, pulling his face to hers for a kiss. For a moment, Michael resisted, his hands gripping her forearms as she held him to her, but then he kissed her back, his lips and hands overtaking Lane’s feeble attempts at seduction. His tongue plundered her mouth, their teeth clinking together as they struggled for dominance. Michael ultimately won out, his hands gripping Lane’s waist as he bent her back over his lap with the force of his mouth on hers. Lane was wonderfully lost, the warmth of his breath on her, the feel of his stubble against her lips and cheeks and chin, chafing and rubbing at her, were all too much. She didn’t know where to touch, and so her hands roamed over his back and around to his chest, the feeling of all that hard muscle so foreign to her after so long. She squirmed against him, her knees squeezing at his thighs as he held her close. She whimpered against his mouth and Michael pulled back, looking at her carefully. Both were breathing heavily, theit chests heaving.

“Do you want me, Laney?” Michael’s voice was low and strained, his eyes an intense blue that stared right into her very soul. “Do you want me, or am I a replacement?”

Lane sucked in a deep breath, knowing that everything that would or would not happen hinged on her answer. Right now, she didn’t care about right or wrong or the repercussions. Right now she wanted to feel alive, to feel something other than dead. Just let life happen…

She nodded at Michael and leaned her forehead against his neck. “Please.”

Michael lifted her off his lap and stood, holding out his hand to her. Lane swallowed and placed her hand in his, that simple act of trust taking everything in her as she stood and followed him. He led her quietly to his room, back to the same bed that she woke up in this morning, and sat down on the edge, pulling Lane in front of him. He looked up at her and smiled gently, his hands at her hips.

 

“You tell me to stop if you want to, Laney. You understand?” Michael’s fingers rubbed at the bare patch of skin at her waist that he’d uncovered, sending chills through Lane’s body. All she could do was nod her head at him, words failing her as he leaned forward and kissed her stomach lightly. She ran her hands through his hair, holding him to her as his stubbled chin and warm lips roamed over her stomach. She scratched her nails through his hair, her eyes closed in delight, and she felt Michael grin against her stomach as he nipped her lightly, right where her hipbone was.

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since I saw you that first day, Laney,” Michael murmured, pushing her shirt up further as his lips traveled up. Lane sucked in her stomach instinctively as his fingers trailed under her breasts, running along the edge of her bra. Michael slowly stood up, his body dragging up hers as he did so. He pulled her t-shirt along the way, lifting it up and over her head and tossed it on the ground. Lane looked down, and the color rose high in her cheeks as she saw her bra-clad breasts pressed against Michael’s upper stomach. He tilted her chin up with one finger and kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose, his other hand holding her close to him.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” Lane looked to the side to avoid his gaze but Michael pulled her back, leaning down and taking her lower lip between his gently as he nibbled at her. Lane closed her eyes again, reveling in the sensations washing over her body as she breathed in his warmth. It had been so long since she’d felt this way, so very, very long. She barely felt Michael sit back down and pull her with him, adjusting her so that she was lying on top of him, one leg on either side. He ran his hands up and down her back, stopping to quickly undo her bra and slide it down her arms. Lane stopped breathing when she felt him pull it off, her bare breasts pressed against his chest now. She moaned, her nipples were aching, the hair on his chest and the friction pebbling them into tight, little peaks.

“Look at me, Laney,” Michael ordered, his voice gruff. Lane opened her eyes and stared down at him, trying to focus and calm her breathing. “Is this what you want? I have to be sure, love.”

Lane shivered again as his hand trailed up her spine, biting her lip as she rubbed against him and nodded.  “Yes, Michael. Oh god yes!”

Michael’s eyes narrowed, a satisfied smile on his face as he flipped them over. He pushed Lane’s legs apart and rested between them, holding her hands out and pushing them up above her head. “You stay with me, Laney. Stay here with me and let me make love to you, right?”

Lane nodded. She would jump off a bridge right now if he asked her, so under his spell she was...

Michael kissed at the base of her throat, his tongue tracing patterns that only he could decipher as he moved down her chest. Lane could barely breathe when she felt his mouth cover her breast, his lips closing around one taut nipple and sucking it into his mouth. Oh god! She squirmed against him, feeling like she was breaking into a million little pieces as he worked her. She arched her back, her fingers clawing at his scalp as she pulled him to her. Michael grabbed her hand and put it back on the bed, holding it tightly by her head as he grinned against her breast.

“Patience, little one. Patience,” he murmured, sucking her nipple hard once more and releasing it. Lane felt the cool air hit her, her nipples aching even more at the change of temperature. Just as quickly Michael moved to the other side, finding her just as hard, lavishing the same attention on that breast as he did the other. Lane could feel the wetness between her legs, the throbbing that was almost painful. She wrapped her legs around Michael’s waist and moved against him, trying to get contact where she needed him most.

Michael sat up, releasing her hands as he leaned back on his heels and started to pull her jeans off. Lane’s breath caught as she watched him, how his brows were drawn together in concentration as he carefully unzipped her pants. The way his lips tightened as he pulled her pants down, and then her panties, the way he clenched his jaw as stared down at her, completely naked before him. Lane blushed from her head to her toes, never having been looked at in such a way as Michael was doing now. He stared at her for what seemed like forever, his eyes fixated on her body as he licked his lips appreciatively. 

“Michael?” Lane stammered out, growing increasingly uncomfortable as she looked up at him. 

“Hush, love,” Michael murmured, a slow, almost predatory grin spreading across his face. “Damn, woman, but you are fuckin’ sexy!” He leaned down and placed a hand on both sides of her face and kissed her gently, his chest just barely touching hers. Lane reached up and grabbed his shoulders again, running her hands behind his head and pulling him down to her, whimpering in frustration as he pulled away again.

“We’ve got all night, love. No need to rush.” Michael kissed her lips softly once more before sliding back down her body, his lips trailing down her sternum and to her navel. Lane squirmed under him, pressing at his head to go down further and then in the same breath trying to pull him back up to her. Michael ducked out of her grasp, sliding down lower as he ran his lips again along her hip bones, kissing the spots that his teeth had nipped at. Lane was on fire, her body screaming for his touch that was just out of reach.

“God! Michael, please!” she whined, gripping at him with her thighs. She came up off the bed when Michael pressed his thumb against her clit, the contact so quick and so unexpected that she could scream. It was not going to take much to push her over the edge and Michael knew it. He continued the light pressure, his thumb rubbing a slow circle around the sensitive bundle of nerves as he left open-mouthed kisses along her hips and down her thighs, his tongue darting out to lick at her. She felt his mouth at the junction where her leg met her pelvis, his mouth hot and wet as he kissed along that line of trembling skin. Lane arched off the bed, her body taut with need as Michael slipped one, and then two fingers inside her, slowly pumping in and out as his thumb continued circling her. She could feel the roughness of this thumb as he rubbed her clit, could feel as he rubbed her wetness on and around her. Her inner walls clenched at his fingers, and Lane was unaware how her actions brought a smile to Michael’s face as he continued biting and licking at her as his fingers worked her relentlessly.

“Oh please! Michael!” she moaned, the sensation too much. She felt like she was on fire, her skin tingling and goosebumps breaking out – all at the same time. Lane grasped at his free arm, her fingers biting into his forearm as she squeezed her knees together against Michael and panted. She could feel the tingling coming, could feel her release just out of reach, and her body was so tightly wound that all it took was Michael crooking his fingers just a bit to send her over the edge, her body gushing as she came. Lane felt the dam burst, felt the release as her orgasm washed over in waves, fanning out from her core where Michael’s fingers were still buried deeply, and spreading down to her toes and curling them as she moved restlessly. She clawed at the sheets, her fingers twisted as she jerked, her pussy clenching at Michael’s fingers again as she shook. Lane felt as if she blacked out, her vision dimming and sounds became mute as her body arched a few more times involuntarily. As her shudders eased and her breathing returned to normal, she relaxed her legs and they dropped out to her sides, her hands releasing the death-grip they had on the sheets as the tension left finally her body. She barely noticed when Michael slipped his fingers out of her and crawled up her body, his heavy weight pressing down on her. She vaguely felt the wetness between her legs and below her bottom, her mind still slowly comprehending what had just happened as she floated back down to Earth.  As her eyelids fluttered open, she saw Michael gazing down at her, a tender smile on his face as he ran his finger along her jaw line and lightly kissed her nose.

“You alright, Laney?” he said softly, nuzzling her nose with his. Lane giggled lazily, trying to force her arms to move and wrap around Michael, but she was so limp, her energy having completely abandoned her.

“Umm..hmmm…” Lane murmured. She was as limp as a noodle, her legs felt like jelly and she could barely hold her eyelids open as she tried to focus on Michael. Michael grinned at her and rolled off and moved so that he was behind her. He pulled her close to him, tucking her in as he spooned her, her ass pressed against him as he held her close. The last thing Lane remembered was Michael gripping her hip as he pulled her closer to him, and she barely felt him gently kiss her shoulder as she drifted off to sleep, wrapped tightly in his arms.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Lane smiled sleepily, her eyes still closed as she felt Michael trail his lips up her shoulder. She shivered as he pushed her hair aside, kissing behind her ear and down her neck.

“You awake, Laney?” Michael murmured, his lips soft and warm as they kissed the area right behind her ear.

“I am now,” Lane replied. She reached behind her and held the back of his head, arching her body so that her ass was pressed against him. He was most definitely awake.

“Good.” Michael’s hand trailed down her side, down over her waist and past the curve of her hip. Lane groaned as she felt him getting closer to the apex at her thighs, her body aching again for him. She pressed against him suggestively, and Michael nipped her shoulder in warning. “Don’t do that, love,” he said softly, his fingers inching ever closer to her core. Lane pressed against him yet again, totally disregarding his warning and Michael hissed through his teeth as he plunged a finger inside her in mock punishment.

“Oh god!” Lane gasped, reaching down and gripping his hand as his finger moved inside her, pulling at her and stretching her. Just as quickly, Michael pulled his finger out, trailing it along her thigh as he flipped her over onto her stomach. Lane moaned as he pulled her up on her knees, adjusting her so that her ass was pressed right against him. He leaned over her, his chest against her back as he massaged her breasts. Lane could feel him, rock hard against her ass and she panted in anticipation. Michael pulled her so that her legs were spread farther apart, and Lane could feel the cold air hitting the wetness between her legs.

“Please, Michael!” She whined, trying to swivel her hips against him in vain.

“Is this what you want, girl?” He teased her, just the very tip of his cock pressing between her folds. Lane pushed back against him, grinning as she heard him hiss again. He leaned up and grasped her hips tightly, holding her still as he plunged into her quickly. Lane nearly screamed, the fullness almost too much as he held her to him. She could feel him throbbing inside her as she throbbed around him, her body clenching involuntarily as he held her tight. Michael leaned - no collapsed – over her back, one hand braced against the bed and the other gripping her tight around her waist as he began to move. Lane pushed back against him as he pushed into her, the long, slow sliding of his cock in and out of her pussy igniting a fire in her lower belly. She could feel Michael’s ragged breath against her back, the sloppy kisses and nips that he was leaving behind as he struggled to hold off his release.

“Fuck! I’m so fucking close, Laney!” He growled, sliding his hand down so that his fingers could tap at her clit, and Lane arched even more into him, her fingers twisting in the sheets as she rode the waves of pleasure into her orgasm.

“Come for me, baby!” he grunted. “Come on!"

She screamed his name, her vision dimming as she held on for dear life as she lost control, her body overcome with pleasure as she exploded into a million little pieces. Michael was pounding into her frantically, the wet sound of skin against skin, and then she could feel the hot spurts of his cum as he came inside her, his release preceded by a guttural growl of her name. Her legs were trembling as she collapsed against the bed, with Michael on top, his arm still wrapped around her. Her breathing was shallow as she struggled to return to normal, and Michael was still panting against her neck, his body still occasionally twitching inside her as he too came down from his orgasm. He pulled out of her with a hiss and rolled over on his back, flopping his arms out to the side as he struggled to control his breathing. Lane rolled over on her side and wrapped the sheet around her as she stared at him, a small smile on her face. Michael was too exhausted to even turn his head, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. When he saw Lane smiling, he started laughing, a deep chuckle that rumbled through his chest, and Lane looked at him quizzically.

“What’s so funny, Fassbender?”

“Nothing, babe,” Michael said between chuckles.

“It’s something!” Lane shot back, crawling over and straddling him. She grinned down at him as he hissed again, looking up at her with a wolfish grin as he grabbed her hands and held them tight.

“You really want to play this game, love?” Michael warned her, bucking his hips slightly so that she could feel him hardening again. Lane bit her lower lip and wiggled against him, earning another hiss. Michael rolled them over and leaned back so that he could grab Lane’s legs, his arms hooked underneath so that she was completely open to him. He placed her bent legs over his shoulders, kissing her knees as he did so. He pushed in slowly, his cock stretching her yet again, the position causing all new sensations. He was so deep this time, the angle hitting her at such a way that it was almost painful. She moaned and shifted her hips, moving so that she could accommodate him better. Michael groaned as he leaned down and kissed her, the softness of his kiss a stark contrast to the hardness buried deep inside her.

“Ahh…fuck….” Michael grunted as he released Lane’s legs, letting them slide down his arms as he lowered himself to her. Lane wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her heels at his lower back as he buried his face in her neck. She could feel Michael’s sweaty brow pressed against her neck, his breath hot against her skin as he breathed raggedly. Lane kissed his temple, nuzzling her nose against his damp hair as he continued thrusting in her, his hips swiveling as Lane tightened her legs around him. She closed her eyes and concentrated, the sensations building deep in her pelvic area as he wound her up once again.

“Oh god…Michael….” she moaned as her fingers twisted in his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp. She moved her hips against him, rubbing her clit against his lower belly in just the right way, the friction of his coarse hair sending her over the edge again. She gritted her teeth in an effort to muffle the moans that her orgasm produced, pressing her lips against his temple tightly. She felt the tell-tale signs of Michael coming, his cock twitching inside her as he came once more. He gripped her hips tightly and held her to him as he pumped inside her, spilling himself deep within her. They were both trembling, both shuddering as their bodies slowly came down from their release.

“Oh fuck, Lane!” Michael groaned one last time as he pressed into her, his tense body finally relaxing in her grasp as his breathing began to slow. Completely sated once again, Lane lazily ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed his temple tenderly, smiling to herself as she tasted the salty sweetness of his sweat against her lips. Michael was still breathing somewhat heavily when he rolled off of her, causing Lane to pout at the sudden lack of contact as he did so. Michael groaned again and slapped his hand against his face, covering his eyes with his fingers.

“Godamnit! I’m sorry, Laney,” he mumbled, his anger directed at himself. Lane frowned at him in confusion.

“For….?”

Lane was confused. What did he have to be sorry for? Did he regret what just happened? Her insecurities began mounting, and she pulled the sheet close around her neck in embarrassment. Michael rolled his head over so that he could look at her, his brows drawn together and his lips tight in anger.

“No condom, love.”

Lane stared at him in stunned silence, her mind trying to catch up and comprehend his words. He stared back at her warily, waiting for a response. When the gravity of what he said finally registered, her face fell as her eyes grew big. She stopped breathing for a moment. Or two....or ten. She slapped her hand over her mouth as her breathing resumed at a frantic pace, her heart beating wildly in her chest.  Nauseous. She was nauseous and she was going to throw up.  She grabbed the sheet tighter, ripping it off Michael in her haste to get out of the bed. She very nearly fell off the side of the mattress, so great was her need to get to the bathroom before she spilled the contents of her stomach all over this room. She stumbled into the bathroom, dragging the sheet behind her as she knelt down in front of the toilet and vomited, her nearly empty stomach leading to dry-heaves that threatened to make her pass out. She was still leaned over the toilet when she felt a cool rag pressed against the back of her neck. Michael flushed the toilet and leaned down next to her, lifting her hair off her neck as he pressed the cool rag against the clammy skin at her neck.

“You alright, Laney?” Michael asked softly. Lane was shaking as she tried to sit up straight, her legs and arms weak and trembling. He held out a bottle of water to her, but Lane shoved it out of her face.

“Oh my god,” she muttered numbly, her gaze haunted as she turned to look at Michael. “What do we do now? What do I do? Oh god.”

“Maybe nothing happened, Lane. It was only two times, so let’s not panic just yet, right?” Michael reasoned with her, although his heart was very nearly beating out of his chest with his own anxiety. Losing control like this with a woman he barely knew and making this kind of mistake never happened with him, and when it did, there was always an agreement on what to do. Actors and actresses did not have unplanned babies. Just didn’t happen. He could kick himself in the balls for being so careless where Lane was concerned. The last thing either of them needed was a child!

“I have to go, Michael.” Lane attempted to stand up, but her legs were too shaky, and she blindly clutched at Michael’s forearms to keep from falling down. She was dizzy, the room spinning and her stomach turned again as a wave of nausea hit. She closed her eyes as her body swayed, the sweat beading on her brow as Michael held her steady.

“Nonsense, Laney. You can stay here with me tonight. What’s done is done, nothing we can do about it til tomorrow.” Michael escorted her back to the bed and helped her lay down, gently covering her shivering body with the blanket as he pulled the sheet off of her and threw it on the floor. He carefully lay down next to her, making sure he was on top of the blanket. He knew she didn’t want him touching her right now.  He grimaced, however, as he felt her trembling, her body shaking so hard it was vibrating the bed. Throwing better judgment and reason aside, her rolled over and pulled her against him, holding her tight as she weakly struggled against him.

“It’s alright, babe,” he murmured against her head as he tucked her in against his chest. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, Laney.” He stroked her hair, sighing in relief as she finally quieted. Lane fell into an exhausted and fitful sleep, her body occasionally shuddering against him. Michael held her throughout the night, staring at the ceiling as he prayed for sleep to overcome him.  Hopefully things would make more sense when they woke up in the morning....


	13. Chapter 13

Light was just breaking through the window, tiny slivers dancing across the floor as Lane opened her eyes. Outside the window she could see the palm trees dancing in the wind, the sky finally clearing from last night's rain showers. Michael’s arm was firmly in place, wrapped around her waist and up under her breasts as he held her to him. She could feel his breath against her neck, his breathing even in sleep. She slowly extricated herself from him, lifting his arm ever so carefully as she slid out of bed. Her head felt fuzzy, her throat was dry, and she had a horrible taste in her mouth from last night.

Last night!

Immediately thoughts of last night flooded her brain, and her stomach turned again in repulsion at the images that were conjured up. She stood up shakily and walked to the bathroom quickly, shutting the door behind her as quietly as possible. She turned on the water at the sink and splashed her face, trying to cool herself off and calm her anxiety. She looked up at herself in the mirror and shook her head. What the fuck had she done last night?

“You are so fucking stupid!” she chided herself, using a rag to wipe the water off her face. She looked around the bathroom, groaning as she realized her clothes were all still out there.

With Michael.

“Fuck!” she groaned again, closing her eyes in anger momentarily.

Lane walked over to the shower and turned the water on, sitting down on the edge of the tub as she waited for the water to warm. Her mind was racing, thoughts, worries, and emotions coming at her from all angles. She was feeling a mixture of guilt and shame and fear, shaking her head again at her impetuousness. She was so damn guilty about sleeping with Michael, her thoughts immediately turning to Eddie again. It was almost like she could feel his eyes on her, watching her with sadness as she did what she did. Lane closed her eyes, squeezing them shut as she tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. To make matters even worse, she just might have gotten pregnant last night. She raised a shaky hand to her forehead, the other gripping the tub as she steadied herself. What the fuck would she do if she were pregnant? She didn’t fucking know Michael. At least she’d had Eddie when she was pregnant before…

Lane felt that lump again, that familiar feeling of choking as it squeezed her throat and robbed her of oxygen. She was going to tell Eddie when he got back that she was pregnant, but she’d never had the chance. Another by-product of losing him.  He’d come home on R&R, not knowing that their deployment was going to be cut short. Looking back, Lane was grateful for that time she’d had with him, however brief it was. Had the unit known they were coming back early, Eddie would have very likely never been allowed to come home on leave. He’d been gone for almost 7 months, and it was finally his turn to take leave. He came home for 2 weeks, and it was then that Lane had agreed to marry him and it was during that time that she’d gotten pregnant. She had waited - not wanting to jinx herself by telling everyone prematurely - and when she found out they were coming home early, she wanted to save it and surprise Eddie when he got back.

She lost the baby 27 days after Eddie died. She was almost 16 weeks pregnant. She would swear to this day that she had felt her daughter kick, those tiny flutters deep inside her womb tickling at her. When she miscarried, she was drugged out of her mind and blind with grief. Lane couldn’t look at her and Eddie’s baby, but her mother told Lane that she was a perfect little angel - ten fingers and ten toes. Her little body just "couldn’t handle the strain," the doctors said, but Lane would forever blame herself for losing not only Eddie, but losing their daughter – the last remaining piece of Eddie that she would ever have. Two of the most important people in her life, taken from her much too quickly.  Lane still hadn't looked at the pictures of her daughter that were taken at the hospital, and she'd not visited Eddie's grave site since they had buried their daughter next to him. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to.

“Lane?” Michael’s voice came through the door, causing Lane to jump as he interrupted her thoughts with a soft knock. 

“Ye…yes?” Lane called hoarsely, standing up and climbing into the shower. “I’m just taking a shower. Be out in a minute, okay?”

“Just checking, babe. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Michael called again and a Lane choked back a sob at his concern. “I’ll set your clothes right here by the door, love.”

“Okay,” Lane squeaked out, the tears falling freely now, mixing with the shower as the bathroom steamed up. Relieved when she didn’t hear anything else from Michael, Lane hurriedly washed her body and hair. She needed to get a shower and get dressed and get out of her as fast as possible. She would do everything she could to catch an earlier flight – Joanna be damned. She had to get away from Michael and she had to do it quickly. He was too nice, and he was stirring up too many emotions that she had no business feeling. She had to get away from him.


	14. Chapter 14

Lane opened the bathroom door quietly, hoping against hope that Michael would not be there. No such luck. He looked up from the bed where he was reclining, dropping the remote as he smiled at her and stood up.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Michael walked over to Lane, opening his arms for a hug that she tried to duck out of. He dropped his arms and tilted his head curiously. “Everything alright?”

Lane pushed past him silently and walked over to the table and grabbed her cell phone. A quick survey of the room showed no more belongings.

“Lane?”

“I have to go, Michael.”

“I don’t understand what’s going on, Lane.”

“There’s nothing to understand or explain. Last night was a mistake, and I need to go. Please just let me go.”

“A mistake, huh?” Michael rubbed his stubbled jaw thoughtfully, that crease between his eyes as he studied her.

“Yes. It should have never happened.”

“Is that so? Well, it did.”

“Look…Michael…it’s over. It was a mistake, but it’s over and I need to leave. I’m sorry to be this way, but that’s just how it is.” Lane pushed past him again as she made her way to the door.

“And what if you’re pregnant?” Michael asked softly, an undercurrent of anger lacing his words. It stopped Lane dead in her tracks, a thick mixture of fear- and aggravation – nearly causing her to scream. Didn’t he think she was just as worried about that?? She didn’t need a fucking reminder of how stupid she had been!

“What if I am? Fuck! I will deal with it, Michael!”

“It would also be my child, so I believe I am entitled to know what the fuck is going on, Lane.” Michael retorted angrily. No mistaking it now. He was pissed off.

“It’s not your concern, Michael. It’s my body and my problem.” Lane shrugged her shoulders wearily, not wanting to fight anymore. She was on the verge of tears again, and she blinked rapidly as she stared back at him with what she hoped was a convincing display of bravado. Michael continued to glare at her, his arms crossed over his bare chest and his jaw ticking as he held her gaze.

“You know I can’t let you walk out that door with the possibility of never hearing from you again, right? You know damn good and well that if you are indeed pregnant, then I have a fucking right to know. One way or the other, I will find out, sweetheart.”

Lane narrowed her eyes and lifted her chin at that obvious threat, her anger overcoming that damn lump in her throat, overriding any fear that she was feeling.

“You do what you have to do Michael. I don’t give a flying fuck if you are some actor with loads of money. What I do with my body is my decision, not yours, and it will never be.” She lifted her chin defiantly. The gauntlet had been thrown down – on both sides – and neither was willing to budge. Michael closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, and Lane knew he was trying to calm down but she didn’t care. She would not be bullied by him. When Michael opened his eyes, he tilted his head at her and looked at her as if a light bulb had just gone off in his head.

“I wonder if you did this on purpose?” He walked towards her slowly, his lips curling into a sneer as he spoke. “You know, have sex with an actor, get pregnant and then sue for child support.” He stopped right in front of her and reached down, trailing a long, slender finger along her tense jaw line. Lane jerked away from him angrily. “Are you that kind of person, Lane? Is that your game?”

Lane slapped him, her hand moving of its own volition, the crack of her palm connecting with his cheek echoing loudly across the room. Lane shook her hand in pain, the immediate sting shocking her at what she’d just done. Michael closed his eyes, breathing in deeply through clenched teeth, and then shook his head and rubbed his jaw, trying to soothe the sting Lane had left there. When he looked back down at her, his eyes were positively glacial, burning with anger and Lane almost blanched at the fury she saw there. That, combined with the very vibrant red mark that was appearing on his cheek was doing little to boost her confidence. When he grinned at her, though, she nearly lost it, all fear gone as she perceived him mocking her.

“You stupid son-of-a-bitch!” Lane spat, clenching and unclenching her fists. She wanted to slap his fucking face again, but she knew she was pushing her luck. She glared at him for a moment longer and turned on her heel to leave. Michael grabbed her arm and held her fast.

“Let me go.” Lane didn't struggle, instead standing still and waiting to see if he would let her leave in peace. She was shaking, her heart racing and her adrenaline pumping, but all of a sudden she felt very tired. She didn't want to fight anymore - she just wanted to leave. It seemed Michael noticed the change, his hand holding her not so tightly now but still not releasing her.

“Please don’t leave like this, Laney.” Michael’s voice had grown soft, regretful even, and Lane dropped her shoulders in resignation. She didn’t want to leave in such a manner, but she had to leave regardless. She turned back to him, shaking her head sadly.

“I don’t know that I can get pregnant. I had complications…before…” Lane stammered, “so I don’t think you should worry, okay?” Lane’s voice was strained as she tried to control her emotions. “If I were, it wouldn’t be your concern. I have money, so please don’t worry about that either.”

“If I give you my cell number, will you at least text me and let me know one way or the other?” Michael’s eyes were intense, searching her face in concern. “I won’t bother you, Laney, if that’s how you want it. I would just like to know, right?”

Lane sighed deeply, but nodded her head just the same. If anything happened, he had a right to know. He’d been nothing but nice to her, and she knew he deserved for her to treat him the same. She looked up at Michael and mustered a smile - a weak, fragile one - but a smile nonetheless. She held out her cell phone.

“Put your number in it. If anything happens, I’ll call you. I promise.”

Michael smiled back at her, relief apparent as he took her cell and quickly typed in his info.

“I put my personal mobile, my manager’s mobile and my email. You should be able to reach me at one of those, and I usually always have my mobile on me.” He handed her phone back with a genuine smile. “I hate that you feel like you need to leave, Laney.”

“It’s not you-” Lane began, only to be cut off by Michael.

“It’s not you, it’s me, right?” He laughed and Lane laughed with him. He held his arms out to her. “Come here, love.”

Lane stopped resisting and slowly moved into his arms, pressing her forehead against his chest and closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. He held her close, his hands lightly rubbing her shoulders as he kissed her temple softly. She inhaled deeply, loving his scent and the feeling of being wrapped up so warmly in his arms. She needed these feelings and smells and memories to imprint on her brain, leaving her with something to draw on in the future when she thought about him.

“I wish you well, Laney. I don’t know everything about you – I actually know very little - but I think you’re gorgeous, and funny, and brilliant, and all those things.” He kissed her temple again as he hugged her tight and released her. “I would love to call on you sometime?”

Lane shrugged her shoulders noncommittally, knowing that she would most likely never see Michael again and that he was probably trying to make this as easy as possible for both of them. As if he would ever call on her! She very nearly snorted, just barely holding it in.

“Sure.”

“Sure? You sound really convincing, luv.” Michael laughed and lightly touched the tip of her nose with his fingertip. Lane moved away from him and pulled her purse tighter around her shoulder, almost defensively.

“Just being honest, Michael.”

Michael shoved his hands in his pockets and regarded her carefully, a small smile on his face. Lane felt like she was being scrutinized, like he could see right through her. Just when she thought she would crack under the pressure, he nodded his head, his smile a little broader. Lane relaxed, releasing the breath she had been holding.

"Honesty's always good," Michael said softly, and although Lane thought he may be alluding to something else, she let it go. She had to get out of here before she did something stupid.

"Yep. It's great." Lane pulled her bags up closer to her and turned to the door. "Look, I've really gotta go."

Michael nodded. "Want me to help you downstairs?" He moved to grab his t-shirt and pull it over his head, but Lane stopped him.

"No. I'm good, thanks."

Michael finished pulling his shirt over his head and smoothed his hair down. Attempted to at least, but it was still sticking up like crazy. "Okay, then. Text me when you get where you're going?"

Lane nodded, although both knew she wouldn't text him and Michael had no way of getting in touch with her as he didn't get her phone number. Lane waited as he opened the door, stepping under his arm and out into the hallway quickly.

"Okay thanks for everything," she said awkwardly, grimacing as the words left her lips. Michael chuckled as he leaned up against the door, his arms crossed again over his chest.

"Please text me, Laney. Just so I know you got home safely?" Michael asked her, all joking aside. Lane gave him a small smile and a quick nod.

"Will do. Bye, Michael."

"Goodbye, Laney."

Lane turned and headed to the elevator, focusing on the doors like she was running a marathon and the elevator was the end point. Just keep moving to the doors, just keep moving to the doors, one foot in front of the other. She repeated this over and over, only stopping when she reached the doors and pressed the button. She refused to look down that hall and back at Michael. While she told herself she didn't want to see the look on his face, she knew the truth was that she did not want him to see the look on her face. It was taking everything in her not to run back to him and crawl back in bed, to let him make love to her over and over and to forget about the outside world. She had to be stronger than this _thing_ , this darkness that was trying to suck her down into that seemingly inescapable hell that she had been trying to claw her way out of. Michael was the swift kick in the ass she needed to get up and get on with her life.  The doors opened and she stepped inside, smashing the "close door" button with her thumb.  The doors closed and she slumped against the back wall, sighing in relief.  Michael had been an eye-opener, proof that she was still alive, that her heart was still beating and that she was indeed not yet dead.  She'd been down for far too long - it was time to start living again.


	15. Chapter 15

**A little over 9 months later…**

Lane rolled her bag through the gate, sighing in relief at finally reaching her destination. She hated turbulence, and that flight had very nearly caused her to throw up. It was like riding a roller coaster ride for 10 minutes! She was still feeling queasy, her stomach still very unsettled as she made her way to a shop to find something to settle her stomach. Seattle was incredibly busy, even now at nearly midnight, but it seemed like people were clearing out fairly quickly.  Lane made her way to Starbucks and grabbed a caramel frappuccino and a cheese danish. She was an adult and she could eat whatever the hell she wanted, she thought gleefully. She was in no rush, and could do as she pleased. As she sat down at a nearby empty table, she looked out the dim cafe windows at the people coming and going, frantically rushing to wherever it was, running to catch their flights even at this hour. She pulled out her phone as she took a bite of her pastry, pulling up the rental car info and going over it again. She was not looking forward to driving in snow and in a strange city, but relying on cabs the whole two weeks was totally out of the question. Maybe she’d just drive late at night, or super early in the morning to avoid the traffic…

A noisy crowd wandered past her, drawing Lane’s attention up from her rental agreement. There were at least eight or nine people following along behind someone, with quite a few snapping photos. She'd seen her share of celebrities when she flew into New York, California, and other airports, but she was unsure of who would be flying into Washington state.  She craned her head, trying to see who it was, but she couldn’t tell. The crowd parted at the Starbucks entrance and out walked the celebrity, although you couldn’t tell by looking at him. He was short, kinda stocky, with jeans and a flannel shirt on. He looked vaguely familiar somehow but Lane couldn’t tell. The man turned to the crowd and held his hands up, seemingly pleading with them.

“Alright, I’ve taken the photos. Can I get a break, guys? It's fuckin' midnight already.”

Lane’s brow furrowed, that voice combined with the thick, wavy, dark-brown hair unmistakable. As the crowd dissipated reluctantly, Lane watched as the man turned back around and headed through the doors and up to the counter. Yep. She was right.

It was Eddie Vedder. Holy shit.  His name caused her heart to twinge just a bit, but thankfully it was nothing like before. He was just another Eddie. A very famous, very hot, Eddie. She could handle it now.

Lane took another sip of her frappucino, watching her teenage crush over the top of the cup as she slouched down lower in her seat.  She totally felt like a creeper, staring at him from the dark corner! Thank god it was dim in here!! He was smiling, friendly with the staff and left a sizable tip if the barista’s smile was any indicator. He turned, his coffee in hand and waved off the remaining paparrazi, indicating that he was done taking pics. They scattered, walking out of the doors and back out into the airport. He looked around, scouting for a seat that was secluded, when his eyes landed on Lane.  Oh god! He looked at her!! She was taking up the most out-of-the-way spot, her little table tucked into a dim corner and shielded by some giant plant.  He was still looking at her when he started walking!  Lane took another sip, almost choking as Eddie made his way over to her. She averted her eyes, staring down at her cup to avoid his eyes, but she could see his jeans as he came closer. Oh fuck!! He stopped at her table and smiled down at her, that "Eddie Vedder grin" taking her breath away when she looked up.

“Mind if I join you?” the deep baritone of his voice washed over Lane, causing her to nearly choke on her drink.

Her mistake had been looking up at him.

 

There it was. The blue eyes, the dimple that came out when he smiled, the plump, apple-shaped cheeks that begged to be squeezed. He was so damn hot and that voice was something that dreams were made of. Lane continued staring at him, her fingers shaking as she held onto her drink, the simple words he uttered melting her from the inside out. She blinked back at him in a daze.

“You alright?” Eddie asked her, shifting as he stood before her. He looked back over his shoulder and then back at Lane.

“Uh….yeah…I’m good,” Lane stammered out, shakily setting her drink down on the table.

“You mind if I join you then? Trying to stay out of the crowd,” he glanced again around the airport before turning back to Lane again. “This seems to be the best bet. That is, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure!” Lane squeaked out, slapping her hand over her mouth in embarrassment as Eddie chuckled at her. He pulled out the chair and sat down, sighing in relief as he lowered his arms to the table. He held his right hand out, smile still in place. 

“I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“I know!” Lane chirped again, her cheeks heating in embarrassment. Eddie laughed out loud, pulling his hand back and taking a sip of his coffee. Lane felt like the biggest idiot ever….

“And your name is….” Eddie trailed off. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked down at it, typing something in hurriedly.

“Lane. My name’s Lane. And I am sorry I am an idiot, I am just a big fan, Mr. Vedder.” Eddie looked up at her with a half-smile, his blue eyes dancing as he sat his phone down on the table.

“Call me Eddie, please,” he said, placing his hand over his heart graciously. “You saved me from those photographers, you know.”

When he said his name like that, softly and endearingly, Lane had to look away, her heart hurting a little more now. It still hurt like a bitch just to hear his name. She gritted her teeth as she tried to reign her emotions in and focus on the situation at hand. Lane looked around, not seeing the group of photographers anymore. She guessed they had given up, thank goodness! Or maybe taking pics inside a dimly lit Starbucks was not the best bet for good pics? Were they still outside waiting? When she looked back at Eddie he was still staring at her, his blue eyes intense as he sipped his coffee.  A blue-eyed Eddie was sitting right across from her. Was this some kind of cosmically cruel twist of fate, some painful joke that was being played at her expense? He leaned forward and set the coffee down, crossing his arms on the table as he stared at her thoughtfully. Lane blanched and looked away, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

"So tell me, Lane. What brings you to Seattle at this time of night?”

“Um…I’m a writer, and I hate flying, and there’s less people flying late so I am not so claustrophobic. Less people on the plane, the whole weight thing and all…”

Lane flushed again, her words sounding silly even to herself. Eddie chuckled.

“So you deliberately fly late at night to avoid the crowds? That’s a damn good idea actually.”

Lane flushed under his compliment, sucking on her frappucino again. She was going to choke her damn self if she didn’t slow down!

“A writer, huh? Anything I know?” Eddie asked, looking at her curiously. Lane shook her head, her cheeks still pink and hot. She was not really a writer just yet…she was meeting with an editor, but that was about it at this moment…

“No. I am just meeting with an editor for now. Nothing formal.  I just needed to get away from where I was, clear my head a bit so I could think.” Eddie laughed again, his teeth flashing. The man even had fucking beautiful teeth to go with his beautiful beard. Lane gulped audibly, sucking the straw back in-between her teeth again.

“And Seattle is your escape, a place to clear your head?” Eddie looked around, still grinning as he looked back at her. “This city can be pretty busy."

“Well, I’ve never been here really. I plan on getting out of the city, maybe heading up to Whidbey Island or somewhere once I get done with the editor. It seems pretty here with the snow and all.” Just then Eddie’s phone buzzed and they both looked down at it. Eddie picked it up, and as he read the message he grimaced. He sighed, typed something in and set the phone back down.

“Well fuck. My driver is stuck on the highway.” He looked at Lane with an arched eyebrow. “The beautiful snow, and all…”

“Oh I am so sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! It just never snows where I am from, not like this anyway.”  Just then Lane had an idiotic thought run through her head.  She had a rental.  She could give him a ride. “I have a rental. I could give you a ride if you want.” She slapped her hand over her mouth again, wincing and cursing under her breath at her impulsiveness. As if Eddie Vedder – the front man for Pearl Jam – would take a ride from her!

“You sure?” Eddie asked, throwing Lane into a tailspin, her heart beating erratically as all coherent thought flew out the window.

“Sure about what?” Lane asked stupidly. She blinked at him and he grinned at her.

“Did you just offer me a ride, or am I losing it in my old age?” Eddie asked playfully, winking at her. The damn wink almost caused her to have a heart attack.  She squinted at him like a total weirdo.  “Lane?”

Lane blinked a few times at him, willing herself to calm the fuck down. She was making a complete fool of herself. Fuck! She cleared her throat, trying to sound cool despite her idiocy.

“Yes, I am sure. I need to go pick it up, though. Do you want to come with me or want me to pick you up out front?” Lane asked. Was her voice always that high-pitched?

“Nah, I’ll come with you. No sense in wasting time. If you don’t mind, that is?”

“Nope. It’s fine.” Lane shook her head as she stood up, praying that her knees would not give out.  She could see herself falling down in front of him.  If the Earth would just open up and swallow her whole right now, that would be fantastic!  Eddie stood up as well, still smiling.  She grabbed her jacket and went to put it on, cursing herself as she felt her headphones get tangled in the sleeve.  How could she forget her fucking headphone when it was stuck in her ear??  She was frantically trying to pull it off when one earbud caught her earring. Please Earth! Right now would be perfect!!

“Damnit!” she hissed in embarrassment, trying to carefully extract the cord from between her ear and the earing hoop. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Eddie’s fingers on her hand, pulling it away from her ear.

”Let me help you.” He gently untangled the cord and pulled it from her earring before helping her with her jacket.  She wasn’t breathing and she was surely going to pass out.  Was that him that smelled so good? A mixture of cigarettes, cologne, and whatever Eddie Vedder smelled like?  When he straightened her collar, Lane felt his fingertips brush against her neck and she shivered involuntarily.  As she turned to thank Eddie, she saw his smile disappear as his fingers lingered on her collarbone.  Lane bit her lip as she looked up at him, his blue eyes holding her gaze. When his lips formed a small smile, Lane relaxed, finally letting out the breath she was holding.

“You ready to go?” Eddie asked her softly, pulling her collar straight once more before removing his hands and shoving them in his pockets. He was taller than she expected and yes, it was him that smelled so good. Fuck.

“Lane?” Eddie asked again, his voice soft with humor as he continued smiling at her. Lane shook her head and offered him a weak smile of her own.

“Yep. Sorry, I’m tired. I’m ready when you are.” Lane grabbed her bag, fussing for a brief moment as Eddie insisted he would drag her suitcase for her. She finally relented and they made their way down to the rental car place without so much as one person stopping them. As Lane came out with her paperwork, she and Eddie walked silently to the car, both shivering in the cold. It was snowing pretty good now and Lane was beginning to freak out.  As she put her backpack in the back seat, she looked at Eddie nervously. He was about to crawl in the passenger side, but stopped when he saw the look on her face.

“What’s wrong, Lane?”

“I am from Texas. I have never driven in snow.” She shrugged her shoulders helplessly, her cheeks heated from the cold and now embarrassment. Eddie smiled at her and motioned for her to come to his side.

“I can drive. I know my way around Seattle, too.” He held the door open for her as she came around to the passenger side. Lane handed him the keys and crawled inside, relief washing over her. She did not want to drive with Eddie Vedder as her passenger, holy shit! Wasn’t Seattle like his city or something?  She buckled up, trying to make her hands stop shaking as Eddie came around and got in the driver’s seat. He grinned at her as he started up the car and buckled. Lane smiled back, shaky and nervous.

“Where to?” Eddie asked as he pulled the car out of the garage. Snow was falling softly and Lane gasped, a child-like grin on her face as she stared out of her window. Eddie laughed and reached over and fiddled with the radio. He turned it on, adding some background noise to the darkness. “Where am I heading Lane?”

“Oh sorry! I am staying at the Cedar Brook Lodge? I think that’s what it’s called?” Lane dug in her purse and pulled out her itinerary. “Yeah. That’s it. Avenue South?” She looked up at Eddie for clarification. He nodded, his eyes on the road.

“Yeah, I know it well. Less than 2 miles from here.” He looked over at Lane and grinned, one brow arched ever so slightly in amusement. “I’m staying there as well.”

“Oh.” It was all she could come up with. _Oh_.  Eddie Vedder was driving her around AND staying at her hotel and all she could come up with was " _oh_.".

Fuck.


	16. Chapter 16

“Well, Lane, thanks for the ride.”

They stood before Lane’s room, Eddie still gripping her suitcase in one hand and a smile on his beautiful face. The man really was gorgeous, and nice to boot. Lane was completely blown away with how down to earth he was, how normal he was. This was the second celebrity she’d met and spent considerable time with and both times she’d been shocked by how they were in real life. For a brief second, her mind turned to Michael, but it was fleeting. She’d made a concerted effort to not think about _that_ man, to not dwell on him and what might have been. She closed her eyes, mentally shaking those thoughts off and forced a smile up at Eddie.

“No, thank you. You drove, probably saved both of our lives,” Lane replied, giggling a bit and causing Eddie to chuckle. She reached down and took her suitcase out of his hand. “I should probably get inside. I’ve got to see that editor in a few hours…”

“Yeah. I’ve got some things to handle tomorrow myself,” Eddie agreed, shifting his backpack on his shoulder. He shoved his now free hand in his pocket but didn’t make a move to leave. Lane fidgeted under his gaze, wishing she could somehow escape. He had this way of looking at her that made her think he knew exactly where her deviant little mind was running off to, and that thought alone caused her cheeks to warm again. Fuck!

“Okay so…I’ll see you around?” Lane held out her hand, praying it wasn’t shaking. When Eddie gripped her hand in his, she would swear her whole body was shaking, the touch of his warm palm against hers sending all kinds of funny feelings coursing through her body. She literally gritted her teeth in an effort to not let her emotions show, to not give any indication of how off-balance he was making her feel with just the touch of his damn hand. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. He simply squeezed her hand tightly and then released it, shoving that hand back in his pocket. Lane breathed a sigh of relief and clutched her hand to her chest.

“I’d like that, Lane. How long will you be around?” Eddie smiled at her and Lane stopped breathing.  Did he say he wanted to see her again? Why was he smiling at her like that? With the teeth and the cheeks and the damn dimple?? And did he look embarrassed?  This man was a millionaire and he was acting shy around her? She was usually the shy one!!

“Lane?”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I can see you tomorrow, or…..” Eddie chuckled again, but now he nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he looked from her to the door and back again. “Look, Lane, if you’re busy or whatever, I get it.” Lane shook her head hurriedly, but Eddie actually stepped back and continued talking, a different look on his face now. “Wait. Are you married, or dating, or something? Cause if you are…” Eddie held up his hand, indicating he was not into all that.

“No! Oh god no! I am not married – or dating – for that matter,” Lane giggled nervously and Eddie visibly relaxed. He took a step back closer to her, a bashful smile on his face as he looked down at her.

“Well, look. I am not usually like this. Fuck I am never like this, but can I see you again? If you think it’s weird, I totally get it. It sounds fuckin’ weird coming from my mouth.” Eddie laughed again, the shy smile still there. Could he be any more adorable?  Lane grinned up at him, feeling a little more confident in herself now. This man wanted to see her again! _To see her!_

“I’ll be here for two weeks. Not here,” she gestured at the hotel room door, “but here in Seattle. Not sure how long I can stay here. I need something a little more out of the way. This is more of a working vacation I guess.” Eddie’s smile got bigger.

“Two weeks, huh? I could probably hang around for that long if I wanted. I could take you around, show you the sights and all.”

“Really? You don’t even know me, Eddie,” Lane argued.

“That’s why we need to hang out, Lane,” he argued back. “So I can get to know you, and you get to know me.”

Lane arched an eyebrow at him in mock suspicion. “Do you make a habit of picking up strange girls at the airport and hanging out with them?” Lane was joking, but only partially so.  Eddie knew she was being somewhat serious, that endearingly, cute smile appearing once again as he shook his head.

“Never. You’re the first, Lane. Believe me when I say it’s fuckin’ weird for me, too.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know why, I just think you’re cool and I like talking to you, and usually I don’t like taking to people too much. I’m weird, I guess.”

“So we’ll be two weird people hanging out in Seattle, then,” Lane said softly, earning another shy grin from Eddie.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lane replied, her own grin nearly splitting her face open.

“So what time will you be done tomorrow?”

“Well my meeting’s at 1, so maybe 3 or 4? I am not sure how long it will last.”

“I’ll keep myself busy til then,” Eddie joked, earning another giggle from Lane. “You want my number? That way you can call and let me know when you’re done? Or just give me yours…”

“Are you trying to get my number, Mr.Vedder?” Lane teased him. Was this even real?

“Yes.” Eddie answered truthfully, and Lane laughed out loud this time at his candor. “Can I have your number, Lane? I won’t bug you, I promise.” He crossed his heart even.

“Yeah, we can exchange numbers. I’ll text you when I am done and we can go from there if you want?” Lane pulled her cell phone out of her purse, opened it and handed it to Eddie. He looked at her iPhone for a minute, and Lane saw the confusion cross over his face as he handed it back to her and shook his head.

“I am the most technologically illiterate person you will ever meet. Can you do it?” He handed her his cell phone now, a hopeful look on his face. Lane melted, watching as he instantly got even more adorable right in front of her. How was this even possible? Lane took his cell and put her number in and texted herself, smiling as she got the message. She handed his phone back to him.

“So I have yours and you have mine now.” Eddie stared at his phone for a second and looked back up at Lane and grinned.

“Thank you, Lane.”

Lane held her finger up in warning. “Don’t text me til after at least 2, okay?”

Eddie nodded as he shoved his cell back in his pocket. “Sure thing. I guess I should really let you go now, huh?”

“Yeah. I need to get a little sleep.”

“Alright, good night, Lane.”

“Good night, Eddie,” Lane replied. She turned to open her door and scooted her bags in with her shoe. She looked back at Eddie and waved a small wave. He grinned at her and winked before starting off down the hallway. That fucking wink. She couldn’t handle it, she really couldn’t. She closed the door and locked it and leaned up against it, barely breathing. She placed her cool hands on her cheeks, trying to cool her skin down from the flushing.  How could that man be so charming and shy in one moment, and then so damn sexy and overwhelming in the next??

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was a few minutes before 2am when Lane finally crawled into bed, her head hitting the pillow in exhaustion. She grabbed the remote and was scrolling through the channels, finally settling on some shopping network channel and turning it down low. She reached over and turned the lamp off, checking her cell phone once more when it buzzed in her hand. The fuck? She opened it up and squinted at it, only to have a huge smile break out as she read the message.

 

**Eddie:** It’s 2:01 am. I waited, just like you said. Good luck at your meeting. Can’t wait to see you later. E

 

Lane flopped back on the bed, that damn grin probably permanently plastered on her face. She was never going to be able to go to sleep now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I don't own Eddie Vedder or anything about him, but I do adore the man! Don't count out Fassy just yet, though. I have no idea where this story is going to end up :-)


	17. Chapter 17

Lane checked her cell again, smiling as she saw another message from Eddie. It was after 4pm, her meeting having started late and run long. She kicked off her heels in relief as she plopped down on the bed for a moment as she read the new message.

**Eddie: Are you standing me up? It’s after 4**

She scrolled back to the previous two and re-read them, giggling as she did so.

**Eddie: I know you told me you’d text, but it’s after 3 and you haven’t so...**

**Eddie: Just checking on you. It’s 248 my time. Let me know when you’re ready to head out.**

Lane chewed her nail as she texted him back, a grin on her face. Impatient little shit that he was!

**Lane: No! I am not standing you up crazy! I just got in. Want to go now?**

She stood up and stripped off her clothes as she waited to see if he would text her back. She had just removed her socks when her phone buzzed.

**Eddie: Finally! I almost died from starvation.**

Lane giggled as she pulled a t-shirt on over her head. She pulled a pair of jeans out of her suitcase and slipped them on before texting Eddie back.

**Lane: I’m so sorry! It started late and went on for too long! Dinner is on me, okay?**

She sent the text and rushed into the bathroom to get ready. Her hair still looked good, so she’d leave it the way it was. A little more deodorant, some perfume, and she was ready to go. Her phone buzzed again.

**Eddie: Okay I’m on my way up to get you.**

Lane couldn’t control her smile at that last message. Apparently he’d been waiting on her if he was already ready to go that fast. She had just slid her converse on when a knock came at the door.

“Just a minute!” she called out, tying the last shoelace and walking to the door. She opened it, and there he was, looking as cute as ever. Lane grinned at him and he grinned back sheepishly.

“HI.”

“Hi, Eddie. Wanna come in for a minute?” she held the door open wider, inviting him in. He nodded and walked in slowly. Lane closed the door behind him and walked back over to the table where her purse was. “I’m sorry I was so late! I didn’t know it was going to take that long.”

Eddie shook his head and smiled at her. “It’s no problem. I was just fuckin’ with you.” Lane grinned at him as she pulled her hoodie on and zipped it. Eddie looked at her in amusement.

“What? Lane asked, confused by his look.

“Is that all you’re wearing? A hoodie? It’s cold outside.”

Lane looked down at herself, examining her outfit, and then looked back up at Eddie. “Are we going on a hike or something? I thought it was just dinner?”

“Nah it’s cool. I just wanted to take you somewhere afterwards, but it can wait.” Eddie shrugged, and Lane would swear he was blushing. He was so fucking cute, it was almost unbearable.

“Oh I have extra jackets and stuff, if you still want to go? I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” She moved to her suitcase and pulled out a thicker coat, along with a hat and gloves. She held them up to Eddie with a smile. “Will this work?”

“It’s nothing, really,” Eddie began. Lane cut him off before he could finish.

“No. I want to go. Wherever it was, I want to go.” She smiled at him as she zipped up her heavier jacket and pulled her beanie down low over her head. “I want to go, Eddie.” He looked at her hesitantly, his hands stuffed in his pockets in such a way that made him look like a little boy. Lane knew he was much older than she – 13 years maybe? – but he had this way about him that was so childlike, so endearing, that she wanted to run over and hug him and tell him it would all be alright.

“Are you sure, Lane? It’s just some Christmas lights, nothing big.”

Lane’s smile got even bigger. “I love Christmas lights! Yes! Please take me?” She walked over to him and tugged on his jacket sleeve like a kid. “Please, Eddie?”

Yep, he was definitely blushing now and Lane fell in love. Not in love in love, but the “in-love-like-he-had-to-be-the-cutest-thing-ever-and-she-wanted-to-shove-him-in-her-pocket-and- keep him-forever-and-never-let-him-leave” kind of love. It was disconcerting to be with a man that she felt she had to convince that _she_ wanted to hang out with _him_. She’d never experienced that before, and to be quite honest it was exhilarating. After the initial shock of realizing who he was, Lane had felt nothing but confident around him. He had this way of unknowingly putting her at ease, of making her feel like she was someone that he wanted to hang around.

“Okay. We’ll go.” Eddie’s grin got bigger as Lane’s did, that dimple peeking out as he smiled down at her. “Can we eat first, though? I haven’t eaten since this morning. You feel like anything in particular?”

“You’re the Seattle-ite. Seattle-tonian? Is that a word?” she grinned at Eddie and he chuckled. “Whatever. You’re from here, and I am just along for the ride. Wherever you want to go.” They walked to the door and Eddie opened it, holding it as Lane stepped out into the hallway.

“Let’s just drive and see what looks good.” Eddie said to her as they walked down the hallway. He had his hands shoved back in his pockets, and Lane was itching to shove her arm in between his arm and his side, but she didn’t dare. She didn’t want him to think she was a freak or something, grabbing him like that. They stopped before the elevator and Eddie pushed the button to go down.

“Sounds good to me. You’re going to be my tour guide for a few days, Mr. Vedder?” Lane teased as she bumped him with her shoulder. He laughed and looked down at the floor and then back to her and then back down at the floor again. He bumped her back gently.

“If you’ll let me.” His voice was soft and Lane glanced at him, taking in his profile yet again. His features were soft, but still ruggedly handsome, his beard covering his strong jaw. His dark, chocolate brown hair looked like it would be incredibly soft and Lane had to tame the urge she had to reach out and touch it. Just touch a curl – would he notice? The elevator doors opened and Lane stumbled back into reality, mentally shaking her head at her fangirling over this man’s hair. They stepped in the elevator, and he pressed the button to go down. Lane leaned back against one wall and Eddie leaned against the opposite. It was ridiculously adorable that he wouldn’t meet her eyes for more than a few moments at a time. She’d seen Pearl Jam in concert and he had such an incredible stage presence, larger than life really, and now he was like this shrinking wall flower. Crazy.

“Thanks for taking me out, Eddie,” Lane offered, trying to break the awkward silence between them. He looked up and smiled at her, his blue eyes dancing.

“No problem.”

“Thanks for not dying of starvation, either,” Lane continued, her grin growing as Eddie’s grew.

“Yeah, that’s a good thing, huh?” he asked her.

“Yeah. Who else is going to drive me around in the snow?” Eddie laughed and Lane laughed with him. It was easy to laugh around him, even though he was a tough cookie to crack. The doors opened and Eddie jerked his head and started walking quickly towards the exit. Lane followed him across the lobby and out to the rental car. He held the door open for her and Lane crawled in and buckled. Eddie shut her door and came around and crawled in the driver’s side and buckled as well.

“Last chance to escape…” he warned her, but he was grinning as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

“The same applies to you, mister,” Lane replied, her head cocked and an eyebrow arched.  Eddie shook his head as he placed a hand on her head rest and backed the car up.

           

 

“Nah, I’m good.” He pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the road.

“Good. Me too,” Lane replied as she reached over and turned on the radio. She looked at Eddie. "You mind?"

"Nah."

Lane fiddled with the radio, changing it until she found a classic rock station and set it. It was Rainbow's "Man on the Silver Mountain." She grinned over at Eddie as she started to hum under her breath. "This good?"

Eddie shot a sideways glance at her, his smile indicating he was pleased with her choice. His cheeks were so damn squishy, and it was taking everything in her to not reach over and pinch them.

"You like Rainbow?"

Lane snorted. "Of course! Who doesn't?"

Eddie laughed out loud. "Not for everyone. What else do you listen to?"

Lane smirked as she looked at him slyly. "Iron Maiden, Pink Floyd, Led, The Who, you name it..."

"That all?"

"Audioslave, The Ramones, uhm....let me see what else..." Lane teased, earning another laugh from Eddie.

"You are a brat, you know that?" he said with a grin. Lane mock punched him in the shoulder and he laughed again.

"I listen to Temple of the Dog, too." Lane feigned innocence as Eddie looked at her again. "What?"

Eddie just shook his head and laughed, his eyes back on the road. He had gotten off the highway and now they were traveling down a quieter road, less traffic and more forested. Snow was falling softly, a light coating on the road and turning everything white. Lane had never seen anything so beautiful as the thick trees covered with snow. It was almost sparkling.

"Thanks, Eddie," Lane said quietly, almost too quietly, but Eddie heard her.

"For what?"

"For tonight." Lane looked out the window, a lump in her throat again. This Eddie would never know how hard it had been to take that first step, to let him even sit down at the table with her. An Eddie with blue eyes, just like her Eddie had been. Taking her to see Christmas lights, just like her Eddie had done.  For whatever reason, this Eddie had been placed in her path, and she was going to make the best of it. Even if it killed her, she thought to herself as she forcefully swallowed that damn lump down.

"You're welcome, Lane," Eddie said as he reached over and patted her thigh softly. "Everything alright?" He glanced at her quickly before looking back at the road.

"It's really good, Eddie," Lane replied. Hopefully he wouldn't notice the strain in her voice. She grabbed his hand before he could pull it back, slipping her hand in his and covering it with her other hand. Eddie looked down at their joined hands, up to her, and then back to the road. "Is this okay?" Lane started to let his hand go, wondering if she'd made a colossal mistake. Eddie gripped her hand tighter and brought it to the console as he rubbed his thumb back and forth across her fingers.

"It's really good, Lane," he said softly, turning and smiling at her before looking back at the road. Lane smiled back at him and settled into the seat, staring out the window and watching the snow fall quietly.

 


	18. Chapter 18

                       

 

Eddie took her to The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant that was close to Kerry Park. They were able to find a secluded area in the back, and the wait staff was very gracious in helping them remain as anonymous as possible. The spent close to two hours conversing over cheese fondue, Eddie’s steak, and eventually a chocolate dip that was both their favorite. Lane had never been to such a restaurant, and she had a permanent grin on her face. It was the most fun she’d had in a while, and she was grateful that Eddie had taken her out. He was so down to earth, his initial shyness giving away to a friendly banter over who’s football team was better and who was going to win the SuperBowl. Lane argued that of course it was Dallas, and they were going to not only go to the SuperBowl but they were going to win it. Eddie – bless his heart – didn’t really have a leg to stand on as the Bears sucked big time this year. They continued to rib each other over other things as well. Lane’s driving, Eddie’s shyness, you name it – it was joked about. Lane hadn’t laughed that much in a long time, and she never in a million years thought that she would be laughing with another Eddie with blue eyes, and even more so that it would be Eddie Vedder.

When they finally had eaten all they could, they decided to head out to Kerry Park and see the lights. Kerry Park was a tourist’s dream. It offered an excellent view of the city, and sometimes, when it was clear, a nice view of Mount Ranier. At this time of the year, you could see the entire city decked out in Christmas lights, to include the Space Needle’s Christmas tree.

      

 

As they pulled into the parking spot, it was still drizzling but only slightly. Eddie turned to Lane, his hand on the key in the ignition.

“It’s raining. Sure you want to get out in it?”

“If you do, I do.” Lane pulled her beanie down lower and zipped up her jacket until it could go no further. She smiled at Eddie expectantly, and he grinned back. He shut the car off and opened his door, but then looked back at Lane quickly.

“Wait for me, Lane.”

Lane nodded, and then watched as he got out of the car and came around to her side, opening her door for her so that she could get out. Fuck. How long had it been since a man had done that for her?? Eddie waited til she had cleared the door and then closed it and locked the car. He held his hand out for her and Lane took it with a smile, holding his hand tight as he led her down the path so that they could get a better look. The rain was falling in a fine mist, the lights reflecting off it and making it look like tiny lights dancing everywhere. There were maybe two or three other couples scattered about, but for the most part they were alone. Eddie led her up to the viewing area and Lane gasped, never having seen such a site. Through the mist and the clouds that their breath made in the cold air, she could see all the buildings and businesses lit up with red and green, white and blue, and every other color of Christmas lights - all mixed in with the normal city lights and traffic. The city was practically sparkling.

 

Lane was still smiling like an idiot when she glanced over at Eddie. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, smiling at her from underneath the hood of his jacket.

“What?” Lane asked him, still smiling. He shrugged his shoulders at her, looking very much like a little boy. A very cute, very adorable, little boy.

“You like it?”

“Oh Eddie I love it!” Lane said, dancing a little as she looked back at the view before her. It was amazing! 

Pictures. She needed pictures!

She scrambled, pulling off a glove with her teeth so that she could reach her phone. She pulled it out and snapped a few pics, fiddling with her phone to get the best views. When she was satisfied, she grinned over at Eddie and jerked her head.

“Let me get a picture of you in front of the lights?” For a minute he looked like he was going to say no, a look of uncertainty passing over his face and his smile disappearing. Lane looked at him quizzically. “What?”

He shrugged again, and looked back out over the park and towards the city. “Don’t like my picture being taken. Never know where it’s going to end up,” he finished, looking sideways at Lane. Lane smiled at him gently, understanding his meaning.

“You don’t have to then, Eddie. I get it.” She handed him the phone. “Will you take a picture of me, then? I want to show my parents.” Eddie looked down at her phone and then back up at her, that adorable smile appearing again as he relaxed. He took the phone from Lane but looked up at her with an arched eyebrow.

“Show me how to use it, huh?”

Lane giggled as she moved closer and showed him where to zoom and where to push to take the pic. When she was satisfied and he felt like he could at least take a picture, she moved to stand in front of the rail and turned to face Eddie.

“This good?” she asked him, shivering a bit as the cold seeped into her clothes. Converse were not what you wanted to be wearing when it was cold and rainy. She could feel her teeth wanting to chatter, and she knew she needed to hurry.

“Perfect,” Eddie replied, smiling at her as he took a pic. Lane gasped.

“I wasn’t ready!” she griped, and Eddie laughed as he snapped another pic. “You jerk!” Lane tried to chastise him, but found it hard when he was laughing at her. She gave up and went with it, posing in ridiculous ways and making ridiculous faces, much to Eddie’s delight. He was still laughing when he walked over and handed her the phone. Lane took it, her teeth chattering for real this time and Eddie looked at her in concern.

“You cold, Lane?” he asked. Lane looked up at him and grinned through clicking teeth.

“You kidding? It’s hot!” She finished that word with a shiver that shook her whole body. As she struggled to put her glove on, she felt Eddie wrap something around her neck and she looked up, seeing him placing his scarf around her neck and feeling him wrapping it tightly around her neck and over her shoulders.

“I knew you’d get cold,” he offered, shrugging his shoulders as he adjusted the scarf just right.

“But what about you?” Lane argued. She didn’t want him to be cold on account of her. He grinned down at her again as he pulled her hood over her head.

“I’m good, Lane. Promise,” he smiled at her as she tried to protest. He reached down and took her phone out of her hand. “Take a picture with me?”

Lane looked up at him in confusion. “But I thought you said you didn’t want to?”

“I didn’t say that exactly. I was unsure, but now I wanna take a picture if you’ll take one with me?” He smiled down at her, his blue eyes dancing in the light that was reflected off the mist that was still falling.

“You want me to take a selfie with you?” Lane asked him incredulously, and Eddie threw his head back and laughed. He reached down and tugged at her arm, dragging her back over to the rail again and situating them so that the Space Needle would be right behind them.

“Take a selfie with me, Lane.” Eddie grinned at her, that damn dimple on full display. How could she say no to that? The fucker. “Please.” Damn him and his puppy dog eyes! Lane rolled her eyes as she took the phone from him and adjusted it so that they could take a selfie. She held it out, knowing her arm was too short to get them both in the pic. She handed it back to Eddie.

“I’m too short. You have to do it. Just hold it out and push the red button.” She scooted closer to Eddie, but didn’t touch him. Even though she wanted to wrap her arms around him and snuggle in, she didn’t dare! She didn’t have time to dwell on what she would or wouldn’t do, because just then Eddie pulled her into his side, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he held up the camera. He looked down at her as she stared up at him in surprise.

“Is this okay?” he asked her hesitantly. Lane smiled up at him and nodded. She was rewarded with that Eddie Vedder _“I’m-gonna-make-you-weak-in-the-knees-smile”_ once again. She hesitantly placed her hand on his chest, grateful that he had his thick coat on, otherwise he would have felt her fingers trembling against him.

“Ok, smile.” He held out the phone and snapped a picture of the two of them, laughing when he realized his eyes were closed. “Fuck! Gotta do it again, Lane.”

Lane giggled and shuffled her feet as she scooted closer, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed next to hers. He wrapped his arm around her even tighter and drew her in closer, tucking her perfectly under his arm. Lane thought she was going to die when he moved his head closer and pressed his cheek against her temple. She could feel his beard scraping her cheek ever so softly and she nearly turned her face to nuzzle it. Thankfully she caught herself before she did anything stupid. Like kiss him. She smiled up at the camera, grinning even bigger when she saw Eddie smiling next to her. He was so damn gorgeous, his cheeks rosy from the cold and his lips glistening from the rain.

“Okay I think we got some good ones,” Eddie said as he lowered the camera.

He didn’t lower his arm yet and Lane made no move to step out from his embrace. She was freezing – why the hell would she leave a perfectly good and warm spot? Eddie handed her the phone and she slipped it back in her pocket. Now it was obvious – to both her and Eddie -that they had no reason to be next to each other, but yet they still were. Lane’s mind started wandering, her insecurities rearing their ugly head. Maybe he was waiting for her to move? Fuck! She dropped her arm and began to scoot away, only to be halted by Eddie’s other hand coming around and grabbing her forearm. She looked up at him, her breath catching as she saw the look on his face.

“Eddie?” Lane whispered, realizing just how close he was to her.

“Lane…I…” Eddie began, but Lane reached up and pulled his face down to her and pressed her lips against his softly. When he didn’t kiss her back, she dropped her hand and licked her lips nervously and closed her eyes in embarrassment.

“I am so sorry, Eddie!” she whispered, furious with herself. She opened her eyes, only to see him leaning forward again, and this time he cupped her cheek and kissed her back. Lane pressed her hand against his side, gripping his jacket for dear life as he held her to him. His lips were soft and warm, hesitant and gentle, and Lane yearned for more. Almost as if he read her mind, Eddie nibbled on her lower lip as his thumb lightly traced her jaw and Lane whimpered against his lips as she pulled him closer. Eddie dropped his arm from her shoulder and moved to stand in front of her, both hands cupping her face as he pressed her back against the railing. With her back against the hard metal Eddie tenderly kissed her lips, his moving over hers as he nibbled and nipped gently. Lane felt as if her knees were really going to buckle, and the only thing holding her up was the death grip she had on his jacket at his waist. He tilted her face up a bit more and canted his head for better access. Lane instinctively opened her mouth just so, her lips parted and she moaned as Eddie sucked on her lower lip before sliding his tongue in. 

Oh fuck she was lost. The feel of his tongue in her mouth set her on fire, her insides clenching, and the feeling of having the air knocked right out of you hitting her strongly. He sucked her tongue teasingly, pulling it from her mouth and into his, sliding his tongue overs hers as they tried to get their fill of each other. She didn’t know when he stopped, reality only setting in as her eyes came into focus and she stared up at him staring down at her. He smiled at her gently, his thumbs still lightly rubbing along her jawline.

“Was that okay?” he asked her, his voice more gruff than usual. Lane nodded, still dazed from his kiss.

“It was perfect, and you can do it anytime, Eddie,” Lane replied breathlessly, her cheeks heating at the stupidity that was flowing out of her mouth. She groaned and Eddie laughed, the corner of his eyes crinkling up in mirth as he leaned down and kissed her on the tip of her nose.

“I just might, baby girl,” he laughed, kissing her once more on her forehead before releasing her. He slipped his hand into hers and nodded his head at the car. “We should probably get you out of this weather, huh?” Lane pouted and Eddie laughed again. He dropped her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and began walking them towards the car.

“Do we really have to leave?” Lane whined as the made it to the car. Eddie grinned from under his beanie as he held the door open and helped her inside. Lane buckled reluctantly, blowing out her breath and watching as it fogged up the window. Eddie climbed in next to her and started the car. He looked over at Lane, the grin still in place.

“If I promise to kiss you at the hotel, will that make it better?” Eddie teased. Lane turned her head slightly and arched an eyebrow at him.

“You could kiss me now. That might make it better….” Lane challenged, her lips quirking up in a smile that quickly faded away at his demeanor.

“You have no idea what you're saying, Lane," Eddie warned her, the smile gone and that look of apprehension in place again. As they waited for the heater to warm up the car, Lane broached the silence that had settled over the car like a dense fog.

"Eddie...look...it was not my intention to come out here and....and....and make out, okay? It just happened."

"You shouldn't get involved with a man like me, Lane," Eddie countered, his tone harsh as he spoke about himself. Lane's brow furrowed as she stared at him. He stared straight forward, that beautiful jaw tensed and those beautiful lips pressed into a terse line.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Eddie," Lane said softly. Eddie snorted and shook his head as he looked down at his lap and fiddled with the edge of his jacket.  He picked and pulled at a string as if his life depended on it.

"You don't know me.  Relationships don't work out for me, Lane."  He sounded angry now but Lane didn't interfere. "My schedule is crazy and I can be....obsessed with my work." He looked up at Lane, the anger gone, but replaced with defeat it seemed like.  Resignation even.  Lane reached over and pulled his hand away from his jacket and held it tightly. 

"It's not a relationship, Eddie. It was a kiss. Nothing more and nothing less," Lane replied. She smiled at him gently, relieved when his features softened even more.  She continued, hoping to alleviate whatever this was that had gotten a hold of him just now.

"If I was too forward, or whatever, we can slow down, Eddie." He looked at her again and this time it seemed like it was for reassurance. Lane nodded at him in encouragement.  "Really. I just like to hang out with you. We don't have to kiss....or whatever....."

Eddie didn't say anything. He simply picked up their joined hands and lifted them to his lips, kissing the back of Lane's hand tenderly. He smiled across at her while he held their hands clutched to his chest. Lane continued to smile at him.

"It's okay, Eddie. Really."

He cleared his throat and placed her hand back on her lap silently. Lane sat still, not wanting to move or say anything wrong. It was so weird how he could hop from one emotion to the other, but she wasn't going to question it. She barely knew the man. He put the car in reverse and looked over at Lane warily. That was the only way to describe the look he was giving her - wary. Of what, she had no fucking idea!

"I just need a little time, okay?" he asked her. Lane nodded at him as she tucked her hands in between her legs self-consciously. Eddie silently pulled the car out into the street and they headed back to the lodge. Lane chewed on her lower lip as she stared out the window and replayed the nights events, trying to pinpoint what exactly she had done wrong. She prayed the drive would go by quickly.


	19. Chapter 19

Once again they were standing before Lane’s door, only this time an uncomfortable silence was still weighing heavily over them both. Eddie had barely spoken on the ride back, merely tossing out one-word replies to Lane’s small talk and questions. About half-way through she finally gave up, not wanting to make the situation worse. Eddie didn’t try to start a conversation with her after that, and Lane was left feeling completely confused. What the fuck had she done wrong? She couldn’t place a finger on it, and quite frankly she didn’t care. All she wanted to do now was to get in her room and forget the shitty time that had followed such a good dinner before.

“Well….thanks for everything, Eddie,” Lane offered, but even she knew her tone was a bit clipped. Eddie winced just a bit as he looked at her carefully.

“You’re pissed at me, aren’t you?”

Lane snorted as she dug in her purse for her room key. She didn’t bother to look at him when he answered either. “For what? What would I have to be pissed about?” She opened the door to her room and only then turned back to Eddie, waiting for his response. He cautiously took a step forward.

“Look…I’m sorry, Lane. I acted like an asshole and you’re probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, but I promise it has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh really? _It’s not you, it’s me?”_ Lane stared at him, her anger rising for whatever reason. She shook her head, knowing that she just needed to leave it alone. “Look, whatever Eddie. I am just going to go in and get to bed. It was a nice time and thanks for that.”

“Lane…look….can I explain? I need you to understand me, okay?” Eddie had stepped even closer, his voice pleading. “Can I come in? I’ll explain everything.” Lane looked at him skeptically, still halfway in her door as she contemplated what to do.

“Please?” Eddie asked her softly. “Just hear me out, okay?” Lane shrugged as she opened the door wider and walked in, not caring if Eddie followed or not, truth be told. She didn’t have time for games and silly shit. He did follow her in though, and Lane kicked off her shoes as he closed and locked the door behind him. He leaned up against the door, his hands behind his back as he watched her. Lane turned to him in frustration as she threw her hands up.

“What the fuck, Eddie? I mean, you came to sit with me, you asked to take me out to see the lights, you kissed me! You kissed me, Eddie. I mean I did kiss you, but then you really kissed me back. Everything was good, and then you went all Edward Cullen on me like you were some damn vampire that I shouldn’t be hanging around. I mean seriously? What the fuck?”Lane stood there with her hands on her hips, annoyance clear on her face.

Eddie grinned at her, a slow smile that spread across his lips and formed into a huge grin. Lane narrowed her eyes at him in aggravation. He pushed off the door and shoved his hands in his pockets in his usual fashion.

“I don’t think this is funny.”

He walked towards her slowly, his hands still shoved in his pockets as he stood before her. “I don’t think it’s funny either, Lane.” He was still smiling.

“Then why are you smiling?” Lane was highly pissed now, and wanted very much to wipe that fucking grin off his face. With her fist.

“I think you are cute when you’re mad.” He shrugged again, grin still in place.

“Well you’re the reason I am mad,” Lane huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away. “You are a jerk, Eddie.” She glared at him out of the corner of her eye, wanting to see if he was paying attention.

“I know I am.” He reached out and pulled one hand down, enveloping it in his much larger hand. He tugged her towards the bed. “Come sit with me, Lane. Let me explain.” Lane followed along behind him reluctantly. She crawled across the bed and leaned back against the headboard, covering herself with a pillow as she waited for him to talk.  Eddie sat down on the edge of the bed, one leg pulled up underneath him as he stared at his jeans. He was fiddling with the seam on his pants when he began talking.

“I’ve had some rough relationships. I’ve been married twice, and divorced twice. Both times I was cheated on. Both times they said I drove them to it.” His mouth had hardened as he spoke, and Lane could feel the anger emanating off of him. “I mean, yeah, I can be a workaholic, and I get very emotional when I am writing songs, but I never cheated on them.” He looked up at Lane for a moment, and her heart constricted at what she saw. His eyes were haunted, his mind back on whatever hell he had gone through with his exes. He looked back down at his jeans and resumed picking at them as he spoke again.

“Both of those relationships nearly killed me when they ended. I was drinking too much, locking myself up for weeks at a time while writing. The band nearly broke up.” He chuckled now, but it was self-deprecating at best. “I was a complete asshole and I nearly drove away the guys with my stupidity and drinking.” He looked up now and shook his head sadly. “So when I say I am not a good person to be around, I mean it, Lane. I don’t know how to have a functional relationship. I know I barely know you, and we aren’t in a relationship, but I want to let you know before things go too far. I can be an asshole, and I can be neglectful - I know this.”

“Eddie-” Lane began, but he cut off with a wave of his hand.

“When I first saw you I was drawn to you, for whatever reason.” He chuckled again. “I almost wish you had told me to fuck off.” He peeked up at her from below those gorgeous lashes, the shy boy back again. Lane smiled at him and he smiled back.

“Well, I didn’t.”

“Nope. You didn’t.” Eddie chuckled again as he pointed a finger at her. “So whatever happens is all your fault, woman!”

Lane giggled as she dropped the pillow and crawled over to him slowly. Eddie looked at her, his eyes wary for just a moment but then he relaxed. Lane took his hand and held it, her fingers caressing his softly. He looked down at their joined hands. “I don’t want anything from you Eddie. I am not asking for a commitment or anything like that.” Lane looked down as well, her voice strained as she continued.  “I have a few skeletons of my own.”

If he only knew, Lane thought to herself bitterly. She didn’t realize her brow was furrowed so deeply until she felt Eddie’s fingertip smoothing it out. She looked up at him, and shrugged her shoulders as he had done earlier. “I am just as crazy, Eddie. I don’t even know where to begin with all the shit I’ve been through.” Eddie smiled at her, his fingertip tracing along her jaw and down to her chin.

“Then don’t. We have a few days left and we can save the heavy shit til later if you want?” Lane nodded at him, blinking as her emotions began to envelop her. Eddie pulled her to him, adjusting her so that she could lay down next to him on the bed. Lane slowly lay her head down on his chest, sighing as she snuggled in closer. He smelled so good, his cologne mixed in with his own unique smell. He smelled like the woods, warm and musky and rugged, like a forest on a wintery day.

“Is this okay, Lane?” Eddie asked her quietly as his fingers traced along her shoulder and played with her hair. Lane nodded against his chest, snuggling in tighter.

“It’s perfect. Can we just lay here for a while?” she whispered, not trusting her voice. It was like a tidal wave of emotion had just struck her, and she was worried that she was going to be overcome. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she wrapped her arm around his waist and tucked her hand in below his ribs. Eddie pulled her in tighter and leaned his head against the top of hers.

“Whatever you wanna do, babe,” Eddie mumbled against her hair as Lane drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

 

Lane woke a few hours later. She was momentarily confused as she looked around her, Eddie’s warm body heat reminding of where exactly she was. She looked down at him, smiling as she watched him sleep. His features were relaxed in sleep, his thick eyelashes resting against those gorgeously full cheeks of his. His lips were slightly parted, and Lane giggled when she heard a small snore escape. None of the previous worries were there, all held at bay by a deep sleep and two warm bodies wrapped around each other. 

Feeling an ache in her bladder, she reluctantly untangled herself from him and slid off the bed. She made her way to the bathroom, squinting as the bright lights hit her. After she finished using the restroom, she walked over to the sink and examined herself in the mirror. She cleaned up a mascara smudge and brushed her teeth as fast as possible, and hurried back out to the bed and to Eddie. He had turned over now, facing the wall with his knees drawn up and his arms crossed across his chest. Lane smiled as she crawled in behind him and slowly hugged him, snuggling into his back. She stilled when she felt him grasp her hands and bring them up around his chest.

“Is this okay?” he asked her and Lane giggled at his now-familiar query.

“Yes, Eddie. It’s okay,” she giggled again as she hugged him tighter. She nestled right into his back, rubbing her nose against him slowly as she inhaled his scent. He pulled her hands up and kissed the back of one of them, his lips soft and warm against her skin.

“I don’t sleep so good.” His deep voice resonated through his chest and through Lane as she rested her cheek against his back.

“Me neither.” This was the most comfortable she’d been in a long time, pressed against his strong back, but the more she lay next to him, the less comfortable she felt. His fingers were laced with hers, his thumb rubbing against her hand and fingers in such a way that a whole new set of feelings were stirring. Lane involuntarily squirmed against him, shivering a bit when her breasts pressed against his back. She could tell that Eddie felt it too when he stopped rubbing her fingers. He released her hand and rolled over, his eyes meeting Lane’s.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t mean to-”

Eddie kissed her, rendering her words useless as his lips pressed against hers. Lane stopped breathing – she was sure of it – her fingers grasping at his shirt as she pulled him to her. Eddie stopped, his breathing ragged as he leaned back and searched her face as he cupped her cheek with one hand.

“I want to make love to you, Lane.” Eddie’s voice was deep, richer than she’d ever heard it, and that alone nearly set her off, the wetness pooling between her legs at the look in his eyes.

“What’s stopping you?” she whispered breathlessly, her cheeks heating at her own brazenness. What the fuck had gotten in to her? Whatever it was, it worked, as Eddie’s eyes got more intense, the blue almost a steel color as he leaned in for another kiss.

“You tell me to stop if you want to,” he murmured as he took her lip in between his teeth once again, delicately sucking it in between his lips. Lane moaned against him, sliding her hands around his waist and clutching at his back. She pulled at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against her fingers. Eddie sat up and pulled his tee shirt off, revealing a thickly muscled chest, tanned from all his time spent surfing. This was no boy – this was a man, pure and raw and solid. Lane ran her hands over his back as he lay back down and pulled her to him, his lips finding hers once again. His hands followed along her side and down to her waist where he too pulled at her shirt, his fingers sliding up and under to graze the skin that was uncovered by his probing fingers. Lane shivered at his touch, squirming as his fingertips played along her ribcage.

“Can we take this off?” her murmured against her lips as he tugged at the hem of her shirt. Lane nodded and sat up. She pulled her shirt off, but held it to her, her insecurity getting the better of her. Eddie smiled and sat up and gently pulled the shirt away from her trembling fingers. He pushed her back down on the bed and kissed her once more, lightly, before moving along to her collarbone. Lane gasped as she felt his lips touch the hollow at the base of her neck and she turned her head to give him better access as she wound her fingers in his hair. As his lips moved along her neck and chest, his fingers moved down to her breasts, his fingers lightly tracing her bra cups and underneath her breasts. Lane arched against him, wanting his fingers to touch her there. She felt her nipples pebble under his touch, and she pressed against his hand as he palmed her fully.

“Ahhh…god.....” she moaned into his hair, writhing underneath him as he finally found her nipple with his fingertips.

“You are so fucking hot, Lane,” he whispered huskily. He reached around her and quickly undid her bra and pulled it off, leaving her bare to him. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her breasts, his eyes hooded and heavy with lust.

“Fuck.” He leaned down and kissed her nipple, just barely grazing it with his lips and Lane nearly screamed. His hand cupped her breast, bringing her up fully to him as he covered her with mouth, the wet, moist heat enveloping her and setting her blood on fire. She moved against him restlessly, her legs gripping his thighs as she tried to pull him to her. Eddie grinned against her breast, turning his face from side to side as he nipped and suckled her. He swirled his tongue around her aching nipple, gently biting it before releasing her and sliding back up her body. He pinned her hands at the side of her head and pressed his chest to hers, causing Lane to moan again as she felt the coarse hair there scratch at her sensitive skin.

“Please, Eddie!” she whined as she tried to move against him. She opened her eyes and stared up at him. He was staring down at her, his eyes heavy with desire.

“Are you sure you want this, Lane?” Eddie asked her, nipping her chin and jaw line with his lips.

“God yes!”

“What about protection?” Eddie asked, leaving open-mouthed kisses along her jaw as he moved closer to her lips again.

“I have….an…..IUD….” Lane moved ardently beneath him, her hips moving against him as she tried to get him right where she wanted him. Eddie didn’t move for a moment, but Lane barely had time to question it before he sat up and leaned back on his heels. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off, along with her panties, before removing his own jeans and boxers. Lane scooted back up on the bed, her cheeks flushing again as she stared at his erection. She tried to look away, but fuck! Eddie caught her staring and grinned at her before crawling back over the bed and up to her, pushing her legs apart as he settled in between them and resumed kissing her.

“See something you like, baby girl?” he asked as he continued kissing her, his lips back at hers now. He kissed the corner of her mouth softly, his beard driving her insane with need.

“Please make love to me, Eddie,” Lane whined again as she tried unsuccessfully to catch his lips with hers. Eddie grinned against her mouth as he reached down and positioned himself at her entrance. Lane didn’t give him any time as she scooted down and pressed against him, feeling just the tip slide in. She swiveled her hips for friction and Eddie groaned against her as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Fuck, Lane!” he growled as he gripped her hip to still her as she undulated against him. “You are so fuckin’ wet, babe.” He pushed against her, sliding in a bit further. His breathing was deeper, labored as he began to sweat against her. Lane thought he was moving to slow so she freed her hands from him and reached down and pulled at his ass, pulling him into her. Eddie could not resist and pushed all the way in, bottoming out as he joined them together. Lane moaned as she squeezed him with her legs, her body slowly adjusting to the fullness of his cock buried deep inside. Eddie propped himself up on his forearms and didn’t move, his forehead still pressed against hers as he struggled to calm his body. Lane could feel him twitching inside her, and she moved against him involuntarily, her body clenching around him.

“I’m not gonna last,” Eddie growled, his voice low and deep and sending shivers up and down her body. Lane kissed him, pulling his face to hers as she began to move her hips against him. She felt Eddie groan into her mouth as he pulled her hip to him, pushing and pulling her as he thrust in her. His movements were getting faster and harder, and Lane hugged him tight, holding on for dear life as he pounded into her.

“Come on, baby girl,” Eddie whispered as he slammed into her over and over again, the wet sounds of their lovemaking filling the room. “Come for me!”

“Ahhh….god…..Eddie…” Lane whimpered right before she climaxed, her orgasm ripping through her body and causing her to cry out his name. She bowed up against him, her fingernails digging into his back as she rode the waves of passion as Eddie continued to slam into her repeatedly. He was becoming erratic, his breathing labored, and Lane’s legs trembled as her body clamped around him, forcing him into his own orgasm. Eddie slammed into her once more, his cock jerking inside her as he found his release with a guttural cry, his body shuddering against her. He slowly released the tight grip he had on her hip, his movements slowing as his body spent itself inside her. When he was finished, he collapsed against her, his face buried in her neck as he struggled to catch his breath. Lane, too, was having trouble breathing, so quick was their lovemaking and so overwhelming. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm her racing heart as Eddie leaned up to look down at her. He was sweaty, his curls wet and his face red, and Lane thought he was the most gorgeous man ever. She smiled up at him and was rewarded with a smile back.

“Am I too heavy?” Eddie asked her as he made to move from her. Lane shook her head and pulled him back down to her, her fingers tangling in his hair.

“Don’t ever move from this spot, mister!” She smiled teasingly at him as she locked her feet behind his lower back, holding him to her tightly. Eddie collapsed back down again, taking in a deep breath as he buried his face once again next to her neck.

“Shit. I could stay here forever if you’d let me,” he mumbled against her and Lane giggled, his beard tickling her now.

“I wish you would, Eddie,” Lane murmured against his hair. She twisted a strand around her fingers as she relaxed her legs and let them fall out to the sides. Eddie leaned up and looked down at her again, that shy smile in place once more. How could he be so fucking adorable and so fucking hot all at the same time??

“Wanna take a shower with me?” He asked her, and his voice sounded even lower, if that were possible. He pulled out of her slowly, earning a sigh from Lane at the loss of contact. Lane mock pouted and Eddie laughed at her. He leaned down and kissed her. He nodded his head at the bathroom as he pushed the hair out of Lane’s face and tucked it behind her ear gently.

“Come on, babe. I promise you won’t regret it.” Lane took his hand and followed him to the bathroom.

They made love in the shower, on the counter in front of the mirror, and back in the tub, and damn if Eddie wasn’t right. She didn’t regret it – not one bit.


	20. Chapter 20

“Are you almost done?” The knock came at the door, and Lane nearly dropped her mascara in the sink.

“Yes! Just a few more minutes!” she called out, blinking her eyes rapidly to dry the coat that she’d just applied to her lashes.

She was attending the Golden Globes as Eddie’s date, and she was beyond stressed out. Eddie was presenting and had asked her if she wanted to come along. At first Lane had declined, not wanting to be in the spotlight, but Eddie had assured her that he would be the least of the paparazzi’s concern. He had also told her that he wanted to make more of an effort with her, to try to include her in his life more and to see where things would lead, and Lane had finally agreed.

She and Eddie were not "boyfriend/girlfriend" so to speak, but they had been casually dating for some time ever since their first meeting a few months ago in Seattle. Lane had flown up to see him in Seattle twice after they first met, and Eddie had visited her once in Dallas, but other than that they’d talked via text or cell phone. For the most part it was good, and Eddie was usually pretty sweet, although Lane had been privy to one of his uglier moments. She’d been with him in Seattle once when he was writing, and she’d seen just how reclusive he could become. That weekend she’d wanted to hop right back on the plane and leave him, not wanting to endure that mess ever again. It had started off with an idea for a song that he had, but it had quickly morphed into two days of him locking himself up in his basement and not coming up except for food. When he did come up, he barely spoke to her, and Lane had spent the majority of her time staring out the window and wondering what the fuck she had gotten herself into. On the last day, when he finally came up to talk to her, Lane wanted to punch him in the face. Eddie apologized profusely and showed her what he had been working on, and by the end of the day they’d made up, made love, and patched things up. Eddie was a hard man to be around, and it was hard to find a spot in his life, but Lane really liked him and she wanted to try to make things work for as long as she could.

She adjusted her dress once more, self-consciously staring at the vast area of her back that was left bare. Eddie’s manager had helped find this dress, along with the shoes and the jewelry. Lane had never worn anything like this before, but Eddie had insisted on it, saying that it was perfect for the Globes. Lane had acquiesced, although a small part of her did not want to be seen dead in this outfit. It was just too revealing and not really her style. Taking one last look at herself and realizing it was now or never, Lane opened the door and stepped out into the room.

“Okay. How do I look?”

  
Eddie looked up from the edge of the bed where he was perched, writing in his black notebook as usual. His mouth dropped open momentarily, and he threw the book on the bed as he stood up and walked towards Lane.

“Fuck, Lane.” He whistled through his teeth as he circled her, a grin forming as he trailed his finger down the center of her back.

“Fuck good or fuck bad, Eddie?”

“Really fuckin’ good, Lane,” Eddie murmured. He stood close behind her and pulled her to him, pressing her bare back against his chest as he kissed her neck softly. “I think we should just skip the show and stay in….”

Lane snorted and rolled her head away from him, not wanting him to mess up her hair or makeup. After sitting in that fucking chair so long and getting makeup caked on her face, she was going to some damn thing, whether it was an awards show or not! She pulled out of Eddie’s arms and turned around.

“We’re going to this awards show, Eddie. I can barely breathe in this fucking dress!” Lane glared at him and he grinned back at her.

“You’re right, babe,” Eddie replied as he walked towards her again. Lane held up a finger in warning, but Eddie grabbed her hand and kissed said finger.

“Behave, Vedder!” Lane warned him as he kissed her wrist and down to her elbow. The man’s mouth was her downfall, and she knew that if he really wanted to, he could convince her to stay in and get out of this dress.

“I will, babe.” Eddie chuckled as he laced his hand with hers and nodded towards the door. “You ready? It’s time to head down.”

Lane nodded. Ready or not, here she comes….


	21. Chapter 21

A few hours later, Lane was standing by the wall, searching the crowd for Eddie. He’d said he was going to get them drinks but that was at least 30 minutes ago! Where the fuck was he?? She pulled out her cell phone and texted him, but she knew he wouldn’t answer any time soon. He usually had his phone on vibrate, and especially tonight he wouldn’t be paying attention. She waited for a few minutes longer, her anger reaching a boiling point that she could no longer control. Fuck him! She tucked her cell into her clutch and headed for the door, only just remembering to grab her coat from the staff up front. Once she had her coat on and zipped, she slipped out into the hallway. Once there, she found a bench and sat down, kicking off those fucking heels that had been killing her all night. She wiggled her toes for a few minutes, and after she’d gotten feeling back in them, she stood up and headed for the exit. Eddie would just have to find her later...

“Leaving so soon, Laney?”

Lane stopped in her tracks, that voice unmistakable even through all this noise. She turned around, her eyes meeting his and her stomach dropped.

Michael.

Michael in a tux and bowtie, his hair spiked up and his ginger beard full. She’d forgotten how good he looked, how blue his eyes were, and how many teeth he had when he smiled.

“Laney?” Michael said again, jerking Lane back into the present.

“Michael…” she whispered, her voice high-pitched to even her ears. Michael walked up to her and smiled down at her, his hands in his pockets.

“I thought that was you.” He looked around the hallway that was nearly empty, only a few people milling about. He looked back down at her. “Are you here with someone?”

“Uh…yeah…I am. Was. I don’t fucking know.” Lane looked around in aggravation as her lips pursed. Where the fuck was her date??

“Who are you with?”

“Uhm…Eddie. Eddie Vedder.”

Michael’s eyebrows rose and he leaned back on his heels. “Wow. Eddie Vedder, huh? Pearl Jam guy, right?”

“Yeah, Pearl Jam.”  Lane fidgeted under his gaze.  Well this was fucking uncomfortable to say the least.

“So…..where is your date now, Laney?” Michael asked her, his eyebrow arched again. Lane glared at him.

“I don’t fucking know, Michael. Which is why I am leaving.” She turned on her heel and began walking, only to be stopped by Michael’s hand on her arm.

“Wait, Laney. After all this time, and this is all I get? After everything?”

“I didn’t get pregnant, if that’s what you mean!”

“Well that’s obvious,” Michael chuckled. Lane hardly thought any of this was funny. What she really wanted to do was cry. She was in a strange place, with people she only knew from television, and her date had abandoned her - in more ways than one. She looked down at her fingers as she tried to keep the tears at bay.  Michael leaned down to look at her, his eyes level with hers.

“Laney….are you alright?” He was concerned now, and the concern pushed Lane over the edge. She sniffled as she wiped at her eyes, cursing under her breath when she saw mascara on her fingertips. Fuck! Now her makeup was fucked up!

“Come with me, luv,” Michael said softly as he guided her to a room off the hallway. He pushed the door open and they stepped inside, and Lane was grateful that it was empty. It was some kind of waiting room, with a few couches and chairs and a mirror. Lane collapsed in a plush chair, leaning her head on the back of it. 

“Want me to go find him?” Michael asked her. He sat down on the chair opposite Lane, his elbows resting on his knees.

“No. Forget it,” Lane replied miserably.  Looking back, Lane would come to realize that this was the defining moment when she knew that she and Eddie would never work out. She would never be his top priority. It stung like a bitch and she blinked back tears, looking up at the ceiling to prevent them from falling.

“What if I told you I knew where he was?” Michael said, and Lane looked at him, her tears momentarily subsiding.  Something about his tone worried her.  He was no longer looking at her, but at the ground as he fiddled with his shoestring.

“What do you mean? Where is he?” Lane could feel her heartbeat accelerating.

“I saw him earlier. I saw you with him right before he left you, and I was going to talk to you then, but you were kissing him, and…well….fuck you know what I mean, Laney.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. “So I went to get a drink to take the edge off and I saw him.”

“Saw him with who?” Lane knew before he spoke what he was going to say.  Eddie had warned her that his ex was there, and that they may run into each other. Lane also knew that Eddie wasn’t really over his ex, and deep down in her heart that worried Lane, although she had never let Eddie know this. Now she knew why it worried her so much.

“Saw him with who, Michael?” Lane demanded again. She needed to hear the truth.

“With a woman. At the bar. A blonde.” Michael shook his head at her, a look of genuine regret on his face. “I’m sorry, Laney. I didn’t want to say anything.”

Lane sat up and put her shoes on carefully, making sure to get the straps just right. She didn’t speak as she stood up and adjusted her dress angrily. The fucker. She would go and give him a piece of her mind. Michael stood too, watching her warily.

“What are you doing, Laney?”

“Where do you think I am going, Michael?” She was beyond pissed! How dare he fucking make her wear this fucking dress and these fucking uncomfortable shoes and come to this uncomfortable fucking place and then fucking dump her? Who the fuck did he think he was? _Who the fuck did he think she was?_   Michael placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Love, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Lane shrugged his hand off and marched to the door and back out into the hallway, moving as fast as she could in her damn heels. She flung open the door to the party and walked back in. Michael followed behind her. She surveyed the room, trying to figure out where he might be, when she spotted the bar area. She headed that direction.

“Laney….look-”

“Leave me alone, Michael.” She cut him with a wave of her hand and continued on to the bar. As she pushed through the crowd, she saw him at the far end. Yep. There he was with some tall, lanky blonde, their heads pressed together as they laughed at some inside joke. Lane marched up to them and tapped Eddie on the shoulder. He turned around, the grin that was in place fading as he saw who had tapped him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your wife?” Lane asked him, her voice dripping with acid.  She turned her smile to the woman. “You must be Diana, right?”

The woman nodded at Lane, looking between Eddie and Lane for clarification. “And who might you be?”

“Me?” Lane giggled hysterically as she looked back at Eddie. “I’m just the girl that Ed’s been fucking since December.” Diana gasped as she looked at Eddie. He’d grown considerably paler by the moment, and Lane was pleased to see that he was very uncomfortable by the situation. Michael grabbed Lane by the elbow, his voice low in her ear when he spoke.

“Laney…love…this is not the time nor place, right? Let me take you out of here, okay?”

Lane shrugged him off again as she turned her glare back on Eddie.

“Don’t you have anything to say? I thought you were going to get drinks, Eddie. What the fuck?”

“Lane, look-” Eddie started, but Lane cut him off.

“No. You know what? Fuck you, Eddie. Fuck you and your fucking lies and your fucking excuses.” She ripped off the necklace Eddie had given her, the clasp snapping as she pulled it from her neck. She shoved it at his chest and blinked furiously, determined to keep her tears from falling. She would not cry in front of this fucker.  She would not.  She turned to Diana, giving her a cool smile. “He’s all yours.”

Lane turned and ran into Michael, who was standing right behind her. He held on to her elbow as he escorted her out of the room and back into the hallway. Once they had cleared the room and all the people, Lane pulled out of his grasp and ran back to the room that Michael had originally taken her to.  No sooner than she had opened the door and stepped inside did her tears started falling, and she collapsed on the oversized chair that she had sat on earlier.  She covered her face with her hands, her sobs breaking the silence in the room.  Michael knelt down in front of her and placed his hands on her forearms.

“Laney. Baby. Look at me, love,” Michael said softly, but Lane shook her head and continued crying.

“Why was I so stupid? I knew all along, but I ignored it!” Lane cried. Oh god she was so pissed!!

“You’re not stupid, sweetheart.”

“No! I am so fucking stupid, Michael! I knew he wasn’t over her, and I knew he had issues, but I just let it go on!” She hiccupped as she cried, her chest heaving with broken sobs and sniffles. Michael stood up and crawled in next to her, lifting her up so that she was sitting on his lap. He cradled her against him, holding her as she fought against him for a few moments.

“You’re not stupid, love,” he whispered against her temple, his hands running up and down her back soothingly. “We all do stupid things, baby.”

“Not me, Michael,” Lane hiccupped against his chest. Michael chuckled softly and held her to him. 

“Well, he’s just an asshole, love. No idea what he’s doing fucking up what he had with you."

"I want to leave, Michael," Lane whispered quietly.  She was exhausted, her face puffy and raw from her tears and all she wanted to do was leave. She began to climb off Michael's lap, but he held her in place as he looked at her kindly.

"I can take you wherever you need to go, sweetheart." Michael's eyes were kind, his blue eyes sincere as he smiled at her.  "I have an extra room that you could have if you need it in my suite."

Lane's eyes narrowed as she stared back at him, her memories returning to a time when she had agreed to share a room with him before. Michael laughed again as he shook his head.

"Nothing like that, love. I am just trying to help, but I can take you wherever you want to go."

"I want to go to my room with.....with....with that asshole.....and get my things, but then I want to leave." Lane was so pissed off and absolutely didn't want to go to the room she'd shared with Eddie, but she needed her things!  MIchael lifted her up off his lap and nodded at her.

"We can do that. I've got a driver, and we'll do that, and then you can decide what you want to do after, right?" Michael reached in his pocket and pulled out a room key and handed it to her. Lane looked at him in confusion.

"What's this for?:"

"I can't come, love. I've got to meet with someone at this party. Shouldn't take me longer than an hour or two, and then I'll be able to leave." Michael shrugged his shoulders. "Work. They never take a break."

"Are you sure?" Lane looked at him warily, not entirely trusting his motives still. Michael grinned at her again as he pulled out his cell phone and punched a few buttons.  Lane heard him speak into the phone - to his driver, she presumed -  and make arrangements for her to be picked up and taken to wherever she wanted to go. Lane waited for him to finish, only talking when he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"I don't think I can do this, Michael," Lane said quietly. Defeat was heavy in her voice, and Michael smiled at her as he lifted her hand and kissed it tenderly.

"Yes you can, Laney. I know you can. Just go to the room and get your stuff, and then go back to my room.  My driver knows where both hotels are and he'll take you.  We'll figure it out when I get back, okay?" Michael kissed her hand once more before releasing her. "I won't be long. I promise."

Lane snorted at him in derision, anger creeping back up her spine and stiffening her. "That's what Eddie said, too, and look at that asshole."

"Well, I am not Eddie, love." Michael's voice had taken on a hard edge now, and Lane's brows drew together as she stared up at him. His gaze was hard as he stared down at her.

"I'm sorry, Michael," Lane apologized.

"Right. Just don't compare me to him, okay?" Michael pulled his phone back out and opened it and looked up at Lane. "Give me your number, love."

Lane did as he asked, not wanting to argue with him at the moment.  When he was done, he again shoved his phone in his pocket.

"Okay. My driver should be out front, so you need to hurry. Go get your things and go back to my room and wait for me, right?"

Lane nodded again. It was almost nice having Michael in control, as she didn't feel like she could - or would - make the right decisions right now. Michael walked her to the door and then down the hallway and made sure she got in the car okay. As Lane was driven away towards her hotel, she pulled out her cell phone and pulled up Eddie's messages and began texting him.

**Lane: I'm done. I am going to to the room to get my things and I am leaving. Don't ever contact me again. We're done.**

She sent the message and leaned her head back, sighing as exhaustion threatened to overwhelm her again.  She found a jacket on the seat and she assumed it was Michael's. She pulled it into her lap and wrapped up in it, her body shivering from stress as she stared out the window.  She managed to hold out for a few minutes, but finally the quietness and swaying of the car - along with the night's excitement - took over and she nodded off, wrapped up in Michael's jacket.


	22. Chapter 22

Lane woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing against her chest. She pulled the blanket a bit and held the phone up close to her eyes, squinting as she read the text message.

**Eddie: Please let me explain. Where are you? I have been calling you all night. Call me back please.**

Lane snorted as she pressed the button to turn off her phone and sat up. As if, she thought bitterly to herself. She looked around the room, quickly remembering that she was now in Michael’s room. It was weird, like déjà vu all over again. How the fuck did she keep ending up in his room? She slid off the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible in the too-quiet suite. Her door was shut, so she had no idea if Michael was back or not and she wasn’t going out there to look for him. She nearly screamed when her phone buzzed again.

“Fuck!” she hissed as she realized her phone was ringing. It was Eddie. Calling again. She declined it and headed to the bathroom, only to feel it vibrate in her hand again. She closed the bathroom door quietly and sat on the toilet seat as she stared at her phone. Fuck it. She was going to answer it and let him have it.

“What do you want?”

“Lane? Babe where are you?” Eddie breathed into the phone, and Lane could tell that he was drunk, his words heavy and slurred.

“It doesn’t matter. What do you want, Eddie?”

“I want you, babe,” Eddie mumbled into the phone and Lane laughed sarcastically.

“Really? Because it looked to me like you wanted your ex back. What the fuck, Eddie?” Lane’s voice cracked as she said his name and she cursed herself for being so weak. Eddie was no good for her and she knew this!

“I’m sorry, babe. It’s not what it looked like. Please let me explain.” Eddie was pleading now and Lane felt her walls being kicked down the way they always did with him.

“I don’t know, Eddie. What were you doing with her?”

“We were just talking, Lane. Nothing more. I just happened to see her and time got away from me and I am sorry.”

Lane sniffled into the phone and wiped at her eyes. “You left me, Eddie.”

Eddie sighed and Lane imagined he was running his hand through his hair. “I know, babe, and I am sorry. What can I do to make this up to you? Where are you?”

“I’m with a….a friend….” Lane hedged, looking at the bathroom door.

“Are you with the guy that was with you at the bar?” Eddie asked her pointedly and Lane felt her anger grow again. Who the fuck did he think he was?

“And if I am, Eddie? I knew Michael from a while ago, and he was being a friend to me earlier. Much better than you were, I might add!”

“Michael?” Lane heard him drop a bottle, the sound indicating the he had either dropped it in a trashcan or dropped it on the floor and busted it. His “fuck” afterwards indicated that he’d dropped it and busted it.

“Eddie you’re drunk. Call me tomorrow, okay?” Lane stood up and walked over to the sink and looked at herself. Although she had changed from that dress from hell, her hair was still pinned up, but messy, and her face was wrecked.  Just like her night with Eddie.

“Call you tomorrow? So what, you’re going to stay with _Michael_?” Eddie said his name as if it repulsed him.

“Yes. That’s exactly what I am going to do. You do realize that it’s nearly 4 hours after I left you at the party – with your ex, mind you – and you are just now calling me.” She wet a rag and began wiping at her face, trying to remove the caked on makeup but it was futile.  She needed a shower, with hot water and soap to get this shit off.

“Fuck! I was looking for you afterwards! I didn’t stay with Diana, Lane! Let me come get you, please!”

“No. I think we need a break for a little bit, Eddie.” Lane was surprisingly calm, her mind reconciled with her decision even if her heart wasn't.

“So you’re going to stay with him, then?” Eddie asked her, his tone icy.

“I don’t know what I am going to do, but I am not staying with you,” Lane retorted, her tone just as cold.

“So that’s it then? I’m not coming to get you if you stay out with Michael!” Eddie was really pissed now, she could hear it in his voice. “What the fuck, Lane? I told you I was sorry!”

“Well it doesn’t matter, Eddie! I need time to think!” Lane’s voice was rising and she didn’t care who heard. “You think you can treat me like shit because you’re this big moody artist? Well I am an artist, too, Eddie!”

Eddie, the bastard, had the nerve to laugh at her. “You’re not an artist yet, Lane. You are not even published yet. You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about!”

“Fuck you, you son of a bitch,” Lane growled, seething with anger. How dare he?HOW THE FUCK DARE HE??

“Fine. Stay with Michael, and figure things out, Lane, but you better believe I won’t be here waiting for you when you decide you want to come back,” Eddie bit out. Lane didn’t have time to reply as he hung up on her. She threw her phone at the wall in anger, but quickly ran after it to make sure she hadn’t broken it. Luckily the case was strong enough and the screen was okay and the phone still turned on. She crumpled to the floor as she stared at the phone, debating on calling Eddie back or not, when a knock came at the door.

“Lane?” Michael called from the other side, startling Lane. “Everything all right?”

“Yes, everything’s fine,” Lane said, trying to compose herself.  Michael was back.  Fuck!

“I heard a noise. Are you sure?”

“Fuck! Yes, Michael! Everything’s fine!” Lane yelled, but she immediately regretted it and shook her head at herself.  Why was she being so mean to him, when all he was trying to do was help? She waited for a few minutes, but nothing came from the other side of the door and Lane assumed he had left. Great!   Now he was pissed at her too! She got up from the floor and quietly opened the door, relieved when she saw her bedroom door was shut again and Michael was not in her room. She walked over to the bed and grabbed a hoodie and slid it on and zipped it before walking out into the living area. Michael was leaning up against the window that led out to the balcony, a glass in hand filled with some kind of amber liquid. Lane could use one of those, whatever it was...

She walked up to him slowly and hesistantly looked out the window.

“I’m sorry, Michael. You didn’t deserve that,” she said, her voice quiet in the silence.

“No, I did not,” Michael agreed. He didn’t look at her. “Was that Eddie?”

“Yes.”

“And what now?” Michael asked as he turned to look at her. His eyes were an icy blue, the sparkling humor that was usually there absent in the midst of his anger. 

“Now? Nothing. I told him to leave me alone for a while,” Lane shrugged and wrapped her arms around her chest, hugging herself as she stared out into the city. Michael tilted his glass and swallowed down the contents, hissing as the liquid snaked it’s way down his throat.

“So are you staying here? Is that the plan?” Lane turned to look at him, the derision in his voice causing her brow to furrow.

“What’s going on?” she asked him pointedly, trying to understand. Michael shrugged as he turned his glass around in his hands, watching as the lights caught on the facets. He looked up at Lane, his face devoid of emotion.

“I invited you here to get you out of that shitty mess that you were in, so you can stay if you’d like. But,” he looked at her with cool eyes, “I won’t be a part of your game to make that man jealous. If that’s what you’re about, you can go ahead and leave now.”

Lane gasped in anger, stuttering as she felt her face flame at Michael’s words. She stood there staring at him for a moment, words escaping her, but deep down she knew there was some truth. She had inwardly gloated when Eddie got mad that she was with another man. Michael stared back at her impassively, and then walked away and back to the bar. He refilled his drink wordlessly and pulled out a stool and sat down, taking a long sip of the amber liquid once again. Lane walked over to the bar and pulled out a stool and sat down next to him.

“I am sorry he treated you like shit, Lane.” Lane wiped at the corner of her eye, damning him internally for his kindness. He was always too fucking nice to her and she hated him for it! Why couldn’t he be the asshole here, instead of Eddie? Her phone buzzed again and she looked at the text message. Another one from Eddie.

**Eddie: Please come back. Let me explain.**

“Go back to him, Lane.” Michael downed this drink as well and sat his glass down on the counter angrily as he stood up and walked to his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him, leaving Lane sitting at the bar alone. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold her tears back but she couldn’t, and they flowed down her cheeks slowly. How the fuck did she wind up in these messes?


	23. Chapter 23

Lane was sitting at the bar, eating a granola bar when Michael strolled out of his bedroom. She nearly choked on the bar, her eyes bugging as he walked past wearing nothing but pajama bottoms that hung dangerously low on his waist. Obviously unaware of her presence, he pulled open the fridge and pulled out a small container of milk and tilted it up, swallowing a few gulps. He set it back in the fridge and turned around, and it was then that he noticed Lane tucked into the corner of the bar, her back against the wall. He arched an eyebrow, a small smile on his face as he stared at her.

“Hi,” Lane mumbled, her cheeks hot and pink as she looked down at her plate.

“Good morning, Laney. Didn’t see you there.”

“Uhm….yeah…I decided to stay,” Lane said hurriedly, glancing up at him to gauge his reaction. He pulled out a stool and sat opposite her, and reached out and grabbed a piece of her granola bar and popped it in his mouth. He chewed on it, staring at her intently. “Is that okay?”

He scratched his jaw as he leaned back on the stool, his arms crossed over his chest. His beautiful, hard chest that she remembered so well…Fuck!!

“I can go if you want…” Lane offered, looking anywhere but at him.

“Nope. I’m glad you stayed. How did you sleep, luv?” Michael asked. He stood up and pulled open the fridge once again, pulling out the milk and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He offered the box to Lane. “Want some?”

“Sure.” He handed her the box and grabbed her a bowl before sitting back down next to her. He flipped on the television and found a news channel, and turned the volume down low. Lane glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as she poured some cereal in her bowl. It was so weird being in this room with him. He was so different than Eddie, so much more relaxed and easy-going. Eddie was easy going in his own way, but he could also get wound up fairly quickly. Lane would catch herself being on guard with Eddie, never knowing what kind of mood she would find him in. Quite frankly she didn’t know how to deal with this change of pace. Michael reached over and plucked a marshmallow from the top of her bowl, winking at her as he tossed it in his mouth.

“Wow. So greedy,” Lane grumbled as she pulled her bowl away from him. Michael grinned at her and resumed eating his cereal. They continued eating in companionable silence, neither talking as they watched the news. The entertainment portion came on as Michael went to empty his bowl and Lane nearly dropped her spoon. There bigger than shit was Eddie on the television, the caption stating that he and his ex-wife were reuniting. Eddie and Diana were dancing, arms wrapped around each other as they laughed and kissed. Kissed!! Lane leaned forward, nearly spilling her bowl as she reached for the remote to turn it up, but she was too late. Michael snatched the remote out of her hand and turned the television off, earning a glare from Lane, but he just shook his head and placed the remote on top of the counter near the sink.

“You don’t need to watch that shit to know what’s going on, Lane.”

“And what does that mean, Michael?” Lane hissed.

“What do you think is going on?” He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the edge of the counter.

“I don’t know, Michael! That’s why I was trying to turn it up!” Lane’s voice quivered as she turned back to stare at the television, but the story about the Globes was gone, replaced with some cooking segment. She glanced down at her cell phone, wondering if she should call him.

“He’s a drunk, Lane. Everyone knows it. He still loves his wife, that much was obvious, and the divorce hit him hard. He’s too old for you, and he’s stringing you along. What more do you need to know?”

Lane wiped at her face angrily as she turned to glare at Michael. His words had cut her deep, and even though she knew they were completely true, they still tore her heart out. She looked down at the ground, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Want to know what I think, love?” Michael’s voice was gentle and Lane wiped at a fresh wave of tears. She shrugged again, resigned to whatever it was that he was going to say. Or so she thought….

“I think you are replacing one Eddie with another, and you’re willing to do that no matter how badly he treats you.”

Lane’s head jerked up, never in a million years thinking that Michael would go so far with her. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t breathe over the lump in her throat, and she felt like she was going to pass out. Her head started swimming and she stared at Michael in disbelief, his words sinking in, destroying her but he didn’t stop there.

“He’s not your Eddie, luv. He’s completely different, and he does not deserve you.” Michael walked over and stood before her. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

She couldn't look at him. Lane dropped her head to her chest and cried, silent tears falling as her shoulders shook with her grief. Michael pulled her to his chest, holding her close to him as she cried. He wrapped his arms around her and they stood in the middle of the kitchen for a good long while, but Lane didn’t fight back this time. She didn’t fight him and she let him hold her. Eventually he walked them to the couch and they laid down, Michael on bottom and Lane laid on his chest. She continued to cry, and Michael continued to give her tissues and rub her back in an effort to soothe her. She fell asleep before too long, her body and heart and mind exhausted and giving out as her eyes closed. Michael pushed the hair off her forehead and kissed her gently, his lips soft as he held her to him tightly. He muted the television and pulled a blanket down over the top of them and wrapped them up. With his arms wrapped around Lane, he too fell asleep, his nose snuggled into her hair and arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

* * *

 

“Michael?” Lane whispered in the dark, her skin sweaty from where her cheek had been pressed against his chest. She pulled the blanket off, sighing as the cool air hit her heated body.

“You alright, love?” Michael murmured. He scratched his chest, the sound of his fingernails through his chest hair loud in the quiet.

“I think so.” Lane lay back down, resting her cheek against his chest once again and Michael resumed rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

“You’re right.” Lane’s voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t want to admit these things out loud, even to Michael who had called her on it. She hesitantly fiddled with the hair on his chest, not knowing where to put her hands at.

“About?”

“About everything. Me trying to replace my Eddie with this Eddie. You were right.” Michael sighed as he cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb along her jawline with one hand, and pulled her closer with the other hand.

“I am sorry I was so blunt, Laney. I just hate seeing you go through this shit. I mean, maybe Eddie can get his shit together and you two could work it out, but-”

“No.” Lane cut him off. “He’s got a lot of things to deal with. I was trying to make something work when it was too broken. We are both very broken, and I can see that now.  We are two very different people, and while I do have feelings for him, they were never what I needed. I was doing exactly as you said – trying to use this Eddie to help me forget about my Eddie. I don’t think Eddie is a bad person, he’s just not the person for me and maybe I needed to see all of this craziness to realize that.”

“I’m sorry, love. I can’t even imagine what you are going through.” Michael kissed the top of her head softly. “What can I do to help?”

“You are helping me more than you’ll ever know, Michael.” Lane hugged him tighter, inhaling deeply that Michael smell. She hugged him tight once more and then sat up, her hand placed firmly on the center of his chest as she slowly climbed off him. Michael looked up at her in surprise.

“Where are you going?” He sat up, running his hands through his hair as he watched her carefully.

“I need to go talk to Eddie. He deserves it and I deserve it. He’s not a bad person and I need to talk to him.”

Michael’s mouth hardened at those words, but Lane got up anyways. She crawled off of Michael and headed towards the room she had initially been staying in. She quickly got dressed and brushed her teeth, grabbed her purse and cell, and headed back out into the living room. Michael was sitting on the couch, elbows on knees and one hand slowly rubbing his chin in contemplation. He looked up at Lane as she came out.

“Let me guess – if I go to Eddie, don’t come back? Is that the gist of it, Michael?” Lane asked him, her words laced with sarcasm and a heavy dose of “I-don’t-give-a-fuck.” Michael twisted his lips as he shrugged and stood up.

“You do what you need to do, Lane. We’re not in a relationship but I do consider you a friend. If you want to come back, then by all means come back. You have the room key.” He walked over to her and smiled down at her. “I can’t tell you what to do, Laney. You’ve got to figure that out on your own.” He leaned down and kissed her gently on her forehead and then turned and walked to the kitchen as Lane followed him.

“So….just like that? You’re cool with me going to see Eddie?” Lane asked in disbelief. Michael eyed her quietly as he downed a bottle of water, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he finished the whole thing. He walked over and tossed the bottle in the trash and looked at Lane.

“I’m not cool with it, no, but I can’t stop you either. You do what you need to do, Lane. I thought I was never going to see you again, let alone have you in my room again!” Michael chuckled and Lane couldn’t help but chuckle with him. The cheeky bastard.

“Okay. I am going to go talk to him. I need to figure some things out, so I don’t know when I’ll be back."

"You have my mobile number still?" Michael asked. He picked up his cell, turned it on, and looked back up at Lane.

"Yeah. I have it still."

Michael shook his head as he grinned. "And you never once called me? You wound me, sweetheart!"

Lane walked over and mock punched him in the gut, earning a groan from Michael, but her tone was serious when she looked up at him again.

"Thank you, Michael. For...for everything." Lane's mouth flattened with the strain of trying to keep her tears at bay yet again. Michael lightly tapped the tip of her nose with his fingertip as he smiled down at her.

"None of that now, luv. Go do what you've got to do and maybe come back to me, okay?"

Lane nodded. "Okay. I'll text you in a bit."

Michael got dressed and walked Lane down to the waiting car, his driver once again taking her back to see Eddie at the other hotel. Lane sucked in a deep breath and steeled herself for what was to come. She hoped her heart could take losing Eddie a second time.


	24. Chapter 24

Lane opened the door to the room she shared with Eddie, her heart beating furiously in her chest with anxiety.

“Eddie?” she whispered into the dark room.

It was morning, but the room was dark, the curtains pulled closed and lights down low. She walked towards the bedroom, slowly surveying the living room for any signs of him. He was nowhere to be found. She flicked on the living room light as she opened the bedroom door. She could hear the shower running and saw the light coming from the bathroom. He must be taking a shower. She sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed and contemplated what to do. She was still sitting there mulling over her thoughts when she heard the shower shut off. A few moments later and Eddie appeared in the doorway, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. His face registered shock for just a moment when he saw Lane sitting on the bed.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Lane answered back. She stared down at the floor as she fidgeted with her fingers. Eddie moved to the closet and pulled out some clothes and headed back to the bathroom.

“Give me a few minutes, okay?”

“Sure.”

He disappeared back in the bathroom, and Lane didn’t know what to think right now. Ordinarily they would shower together and get dressed together, and now Eddie was getting dressed in the bathroom. She couldn’t put her finger on what she was feeling right now…. Eddie appeared again, pulling on a shirt as he sat down slowly next to Lane. She could smell his deodorant mixed with that Eddie smell. It used to bring her such comfort, and right now she wanted to snuggle into him and forget everything that had happened the night before.

_The night before._

Memories came crashing back and Lane felt her anger outweighing her anxiety and whatever fear she may have been feeling.

“Did you have a good time with your ex?” Lane bit out. She hadn’t intended to be that harsh. Eddie winced beside her.

“Diana went home alone, as did I.” Eddie sighed deeply. “You spent the night with Michael?”

“Oh don’t turn this around on me, Eddie! You fucked up long before I did.”

Eddie sighed again and ran his hand through his wet hair. He looked down at his feet resignedly. “I know I did, Lane.”

He turned to her now and Lane looked at him, surprised to see genuine regret on his face. She felt the tears start. She knew where this was headed.

“I’m sorry, Lane. I never meant for this to happen. For any of this to happen.” Eddie stood up and walked over to the small window in the room. He peered out before turning back to her. He perched himself on the edge of the small table and regarded her.

“It was too much pressure, Lane. It was all too much. I didn’t know how to compete with it and it got away from me and I couldn’t handle it.”

Lane wiped at the errant tear that escaped. She knew exactly what he was talking about, and as much as she wanted to hate Eddie and blame him, she knew she had played a role in this mess. She knew she had placed ridiculous standards on Eddie, and compared him to _her Eddie_ , and it was just too hard for him to live up to. Besides the blue eyes and the name, they were completely different people. It really hit her in this very moment just how very different they really were.

“I never meant to compare you, Eddie. I never meant to make you feel like it was a competition.” She sniffled and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“I know you didn’t, sweetheart.” Eddie moved back to the bed and sat down next to her and took her hand in his. He laced his fingers with hers and lightly rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “I’m sorry I was such an ass and did that shit last night. I never meant to hurt you, Lane.”

Lane smiled at him, a wobbly smile that was full of forgiveness.  Eddie wasn’t a bad guy and she wasn’t a bad girl. There was just too much stuff between them, too much stuff in the way that needed to be dealt with.

“You are an ass but I still love you, Eddie.” Lane leaned over and kissed his cheek gently and Eddie reached up and cupped her cheek, holding her to him. Lane fought back another wave of tears. This was so fucking hard!

“I still love you too, Lane.” Eddie’s voice was gruff as he pulled away from her. “You can always call me if you need anything. This guy… Michael… if I need to kick his ass or something, you call me, okay?” Eddie teased her, but he was just as torn as she was.  She could see it clearly written over his face.

“There’s nothing with Michael, Eddie.” Lane tried to avoid that subject as she stood up and smoothed out her clothes, needing something to keep her busy as Eddie stood too. Without words he pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest. She nuzzled into his chest, his cologne tickling her nose as she inhaled deeply. Eddie held her around her shoulders, his nose stuck in her hair.

“Fuck! Why is this so hard?” he grumbled. Lane giggled against him before pulling back and staring up at him. As hard as this was and as much as she still cared for Eddie, she felt a weight lifting as she realized it was over. She loved this Eddie, but not how she loved her Eddie before, and the realization was somehow freeing for her. It hurt, but she knew it was the best thing for them both.

“Because I am so awesome.” Her grin got bigger as Eddie smiled back down at her. “It’s gonna be okay, Eddie. This is the best thing for us.”

“Where will you go now?” Eddie asked as he released her. Lane walked over and began packing up her things, shoving them in the suitcase. Eddie scooped up some things as well and helped.

“Probably back to Texas. I didn’t tell you this, but I have a release party for my book and a couple of signings coming up soon,” Lane replied nonchalantly. Eddie audibly gasped, earning another grin from Lane.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me, babe?”

“It was award season and you have your own stuff going on….” Lane shrugged off Eddie’s shock in her not telling him.

“So you’re getting published? Fuck, Lane! That’s amazing!”

“Yep. First of many, I hope.” She looked around the room and seeing nothing else, turned back to Eddie. “So that’s about it, then. I should probably get going.”

“Give me another hug, Lane,” Eddie said. He held out his arms to her and she walked into them. He ran his hands up and down her back as he held her to him.

“No more crying, Edward.” Lane ordered as she buried her face in his chest once again and hugged him tight. She was actively fighting back her own tears.

“Yes ma’am,” Eddie replied softly. “You’ll send me a book?”

“If you’ll send me tickets to shows,” Lane countered and Eddie chuckled as he kissed her forehead.

“You’re always welcome at the shows, sweetheart.”

* * *

Lane left that evening on a flight back to Dallas.  Eddie drove her to the airport and they said "see you later" once again. Both knew it wasn't goodbye forever.  As Lane sat in her seat waiting for takeoff, she felt her phone buzz in her hand.  Her heart sped up when she realized it was Michael calling her.  She'd missed a few texts from him, and now he was calling.  She shut her phone off, ignoring his call as well.

She really couldn't deal with whatever it was she felt for Michael. She thought she had left that behind in Florida long ago, but something had stirred in her when she saw him last night.  Something she absolutely didn't have time for.  Her thoughts and feelings were too jumbled right now and she didn't want to make another mistake in her confusion.  

She leaned back and closed her eyes as she plane taxied down the runway.

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

Lane smiled as she handed the book to the fan.  As fun as this was, she was running out of steam.  She had been sitting at this desk, signing autographs and taking pictures for nearly 8 hours already! She had no idea her book would steamroll into something of this magnitude, and while she was undoubtedly grateful, she was also completely overwhelmed. She heard the loudspeaker announce that the store was closing in 15 minutes and she tried to hide her relief. Thank god!

Seeing a lull in activity finally, she reached down in her purse and grabbed her cell phone. She was texting a message to her mom when a book was placed in front of her.

“Can I get an autograph?”

Lane almost dropped her phone, but started smiling before she even looked up. His voice was unmistakable, the hint of an accent just barely audible. She looked up into mischievous blue eyes, and her smile turned into a grin.

“Micheal…” she whispered.

“How are you, Laney?”

“I’m good. How are you?” Lane squeaked out.  She was completely shocked, never in a million years thinking that she would see him here of all places. She blinked up at him, trying to convince herself he was really real and standing before her.

“Better now that I’ve seen you, love.” Michael shoved his hands in his pockets as he arched an eyebrow. “So, you gonna sign my book or no?”

Lane arched her own eyebrow as she hastily scribbled her name inside the book and handed it back to him.  She watched silently as Michael took the book and read the inscription before turning back to her and smirking again. He was always such a cocky bastard…

“So…” she began nervously.

This was beyond awkward. _She just signed her book and handed it to Michael Fassbender of all people._   What the fuck….

“Wanna explain why you left me the way you did?” Michael pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. There was no escaping him this time. Lane looked ahead, wishing now that there were more people wanting an autograph.

“Don’t bother. The store is about to close. Besides, I told the store owner I was your boyfriend and that you were not feeling well.  No more signings for you, love,” Michael answered her unspoken thoughts easily.  She gasped as she looked at him, brows drawn together in anger.

“No you didn’t.” She was barely whispering, furious with clenched teeth as her shock melted away to anger.

“Yes I did.” He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his impressive chest. “So tell me please.”

Lane sighed and dropped her head on her folded arms on top of the desk. There really was no escaping him.  She flinched when she felt Michael’s hand began to gently rub the back of her neck, but relaxed as the tension began slowly dissipating under his fingers.

“I needed to get away from you and from Eddie, and from everything really,” she admitted.  Her voice was muffled against her arms.

“Why?” Michael continued rubbing her neck and was moving down to her shoulders.

Lane shrugged against his hand. All of a sudden she was bone-tired. The kind of tired that made you want to crawl in bed and not come out for a few days. Michael abruptly stopped rubbing her neck and stood up. Lane peered up at him.

“Let’s get out of here. Go somewhere and talk, right?” He held his hand out to her, his face serious.  Lane inwardly groaned. She was not in the mood for any heavy shit right now! She really, really wanted to go to bed!

“I think I just want to go to bed, Michael.”

“Fine. Then you can go to bed with me.” He was persistent today, wasn’t he? Lane sighed as she sat up in the chair, trying to disregard the implications of his suggestion.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Michael. I really want to go to bed.”

“Why do you insist on running from me?” Lane could hear the aggravation creeping in his voice.

“I’m not running…” she hedged as she stared out at the store that was preparing for closing.  Damn! She looked at her clock. It was nearly 9pm!

“Just come with me, Laney. Nothing funny. I’ve got a hotel nearby, but we can go wherever.” Michael persisted and Lane could feel her resolve crumpling.  She couldn’t deny that she’d been thinking of him this past month, but how did he know she was going to be here?  She scrunched up her nose and narrowed her eyes as she stared at him suspiciously.

“How did you know I was going to be here? I never told you about the book.”

It was Michael’s turn to look guilty as he shifted nervously in his chair.

“Well….see….that’s the tricky part, love. When you didn’t come back-”

“Eddie told you.” Lane deduced. “Oh my fucking god! How dare he?” Lane was furious. She reached for her phone, intent on calling Eddie right fucking now. Michael snatched the phone out of her hand.

“Stop, Laney. Just stop,” Michael admonished her gently.

“No, Michael! This is such bullshit!” She reached for her phone but Michael held it out of reach with his long-ass arms. The bastard.

“Can you let me explain? Then if you’re still upset you can call him.”

Lane sat back in a huff and crossed her arms across her chest.

“So, like I said, when you didn’t come back, I went looking for you.  My driver took me to the hotel and it was fairly easy to find Eddie.  We spoke for a while.  He chewed my ass, I chewed his ass, and then he told me about the signing.” Michael placed the phone back in front of her. “And here I am.”

Lane cut her eyes at him, trying desperately to maintain her righteous anger.  It was damn near impossible as she stared at Michael, cursing him inwardly as he grinned back at her in that way that melted her from the inside out.  She looked back out at the rows of books, trying to regain her composure.

“Don’t be mad at me, sweetheart.  I was worried about you.” Michael reached over and pried one of her hands away from her, lacing his fingers with hers. He leaned closer to her and Lane closed her eyes and inhaled, her insides flip-flopping as she smelled his cologne.  He always smelled so damn good….

“Excuse me….Ms.?” Lane opened her eyes to see a store employee standing before her. The girl nervously fidgeted on her feet, no doubt due mostly to Michael sitting next to her.

“We’re closing down,” the young lady smiled apologetically at Lane, but her eyes quickly darted back to Michael.

“Oh no! It’s okay!” Lane smiled as she released Michael’s hand and stood up. The young girl cut her eyes at Michael again, and Lane could see the telltale blush spread across her cheeks. Lane smiled as she nodded at the young girl, encouraging her. 

“Excuse, Mr. Fassbender? I know I shouldn’t but my friends will kill me if I don’t. Can I please get a picture with you?” the girl rushed out and Lane giggled as she took the girl’s phone out of her hand.

“Go ahead. He doesn’t mind.” Lane shooed the girl closer to Michael, arching her eyebrow at his own raised brow. She knew that look and it sent her insides rocking once again. _She owed him now._

She pushed those thoughts out of her head and tried to focus on the task at hand.  She took a few pics for the young girl, giggling as the girl hugged Michael just a little too long for his comfort, but as always he was a good sport. When they finally managed to escape the store, they walked around the back to where Lane had parked her car.  It was nearing 1030, and the streets were nearly bare. 

Before Lane cleared the sidewalk, Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her back against the side of the store. Lane barely had time to think before Michael had her pushed up against the wall, his mouth hot on hers and his hands cupping her cheeks as he kissed her.  She groaned as her purse slid down her arm, her hands finally free to roam over his back and arms. God how she missed him! Michael could ignite a fire in her unlike any that she had ever felt; not with either Eddie had she ever felt this way.  Michael nipped at her lower lip again before releasing her. He pressed his forehead against hers, his breathing just as ragged as hers was.

“Don’t ever run out on me like that again, please,” he grumbled against her mouth, and she giggled as his whiskers tickled her. She turned her head to the side, rubbing her cheek against his in contentment.

“So you missed me, then?” Michael asked her softly. His hands had slid down and were now running up and down her arms lightly, causing her skin to break out in goosebumps that had nothing to do with the cool air. 

“A little,” Lane teased. She could not believe she was here, and Michael was here, and he was kissing her. It was all just crazy!

“A little, eh?” Michael growled as he took her earlobe between his teeth, causing Lane to moan.  Michael kissed that spot right behind her ear, and Lane nearly dissolved in to a puddle. He could take her right here, right now, and she wouldn’t give a flying fuck. This man and his mouth!

“Come with me, Laney.” His mouth at her neck, his fingers pulling at her shirt collar as he pushed it to the side. His breath was so warm against her skin and she was trembling all over in anticipation. 

“Just for a little while, love.” He kissed along her collar bone in between each word.

“Okay,” Lane whispered.  Words were failing her as his lips traveled back up the column of her neck. Michael pulled back from her and grinned triumphantly.

“Yeah? You’re coming with me?”

“For a tiny, little while, Michael!” Lane pointed a finger at him in warning and he threw his head back and laughed.

“That’s all I need, sweetheart!” He leaned down and kissed her soundly on the lips before letting her go. He reached down and grabbed the bags that he had dropped and handed Lane her purse. He held out his hand to her and she took it with a shy smile and followed him to her car.  Michael insisted on driving and Lane agreed, knowing her nerves were way too frazzled right now.

"Where to? Your place or mine?" Michael asked her in _that_ tone.  How was it possible for her to be so affected with such a mundane question??  She was thankful for the dark, the low light hiding her as she blushed profusely. Would it be too forward to ask him to just make love to her right here in the car?  Fuck!!

"Lane?" Michael took her chin between his fingers and lightly ran his thumb along her lower lip.  She involuntarily licked her lips, her tongue accidentally touching the tip of Michael's thumb.  She heard his breathing change, could visibly see him stiffen, and she would swear she felt the air become thick with desire at her actions.  Michael released her chin and put the car in drive.

"My place it is, sweetheart."


	26. Chapter 26

They stumbled into Michael’s room, both pulling clothes off as they went. Michael slammed the door shut behind him, fingers fumbling with the lock as he tries to hold onto Lane at the same time. He finally managed to lock the door and started maneuvering himself and Lane towards the bedroom.

“Fuck!” He yelled into the darkness. Lane pulled back, trying to see what was going on as Michael bent over in agony. Now would have been a good time to have lights…

“Fuck that hurts!” He yelped again as he rubbed his injured foot. He had stumped his toe on the entry table as he was flinging his shoe off.

Lane tried not to giggle as she kicked her own shoes off and pulled her socks off, but Michael heard her. He silently finished pulling his other shoe off and grabbed Lane, scooping her up into his arms. She could only cling to his neck as he carried her into his room, but she was still grinning into his neck as he dropped her on the bed.

“Laughing at me, luv?” Michael growled. He pulled his shirt off and flung it to the ground. Lane scooted back along the bed, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched him undo his belt. She could see better in here, the light from the window silhouetting Michael’s lean frame as he dropped his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. He didn’t pull them off, though, and Lane could see where they were loosely hanging on his hips, his boxers peeking out from the top. Her breath caught as he reached over and pulled her foot, dragging her down the bed closer to him. She grabbed at his arms, needing something to hold on to.

“What are you doing, Michael?” Lane whispered huskily. Her heart was still pounding against her ribs as she slid her hands up and clutched at his biceps with trembling fingers, not knowing what was coming next. He pulled her a little farther, so that her legs were dangling off the bed. He quickly unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled them - along with her panties -  off and tossed them aside before Lane could protest. Michael wasted no time, burying his face in-between her legs. Lane arched up off the bed, the move so shocking and so unexpected and so perfect all at the same time.  She could feel his breath on her, and the anticipation was killing her.

“Lie still, sweetheart,” Michael ordered softly. He gently pushed her back down, his palm on her stomach holding her to the bed. His other hand wrapped around her thigh and pulled her leg out, opening her to him fully. Lane conceded, lay back and covered her eyes with her arm as she waited for Michael’s mouth to descend on her. Her leg was shaking as Michael maneuvered it so that it was resting on his broad shoulder, and Lane chanced a glance down at him, just in time to see his tongue slip out of his mouth and swipe her from bottom to top.

“Fuck!” she moaned, pushing at him with her hips as much as she could.

“Be still,” he murmured against her, his breath hot on her pussy causing her legs to shake violently with need. He licked her again, slowly, the rough pad of his tongue sliding against her in one long, wide path of heat. When he reached her clit, he flicked his tongue against her, rubbing the erect nub with just the tip of his tongue. Lane arched against him again. She tried to rub herself against his tongue, his lips, his fucking nose – anything to quell the ache that was burning her up from the inside out.

“Michael!” Lane tried to sit up when Michael slipped two fingers inside her, curling them in a “come here” motion as he massaged her G-spot. He pushed back against her stomach with his free hand and she fell back on the bed, her body trembling as she teetered on the edge of her orgasm. Her whole body was trembling, her legs shaking and insides humming in anticipation, but Michael held back just enough.

“I have wanted to fuck you with my mouth for so long,” Michael murmured against her. He licked at her again and sucked her clit in between his lips, all the while his fingers pulled in and out, both tapping on that spot that was driving her insane. She twisted her fingers in the sheets, grasping at anything to maintain her receding hold on reality.

“Come for me, luv.” Michael began fingering her faster, his mouth open on her pussy as his tongue continued to flick at her clit. “Come on, Laney!”

Lane closed her eyes as her body began convulsing, her juices gushing out around Michael’s mouth and fingers. He continued licking her, sucking on her as she came, his tongue lapping up every last drop as she shuddered against him. He held her down as she slowly returned to normalcy, her orgasm finally coming to an end. She barely felt him pull his fingers from her, and with one last kiss against her still very sensitive core, he crawled up her body and grinned down at her.

“See, I think you did miss me,"  he teased as his hand roamed over her stomach.

Lane weakly smiled up at him and caressed his cheek with her hand. His beautiful blue eyes and that red scruff… Oh yes, she had definitely missed him!

“A little,” she teased back.

She pushed at Michael, forcing him on to his back, and crawled over him. As she straddled him, she could feel his cock hard against his jeans, straining to be free. She rubbed against him, grinning as she watched his brows come together at her movements. He tried to grab her breasts, but Lane pushed his hands back down to her hips and she shook her head at him playfully.

“Your turn to be still, mister.”

Michael arched an eyebrow at her, but settled back against the bed and placed his hands under his head, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as Lane began pulling his pants down.

“Do your worst, little one.”

* * *

 

“Michael?” Lane whispered into the dark.

Michael tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest.  He was not asleep yet, but close.

“Yeah?” He murmured sleepily.

“I think I need to go visit….to go see them…to go….” She couldn’t continue. She was biting at her lip, trying to stop the tears from leaking out but it was too late. They were already running down her cheeks and falling softly on the sheets.

“Go visit who, sweetheart?” Michael asked her. His voice was soft, his breath at her ear as he rubbed her arms to soothe her.

“Eddie.” She was full-on crying now, her shoulders shaking as she said the word. “And the baby.”

Michael rolled her over so that she was facing him and pulled her into his chest. He hugged her tightly to him, whispering soft words as she cried.

“Do you want me to go with you?” He asked her a few moments later when she had calmed a bit.

“No. I need to do it alone,” Lane sniffled into his neck. “I just want you to know. I’m not running. I just need to…..take care of some things.”

“I completely understand, luv. Take all the time you need, right?” He kissed her on her forehead and nuzzled her hair with his nose.

“I like you a lot, Michael.”

"Good, because I like you very much, Laney," Michael said softly.  Why did he feel like he was about to get the shove-off? He had just found her again and now he was going to lose her. Again.

"Michael-"

"Let's talk about it in the morning, shall we?" Michael interrupted her.  He simply wasn't ready to hear "goodbye" again. Not tonight at least.

“But I need to take care of this before I can move on with anyone else.”

Lane's voice was tiny but firm, and Michael closed his eyes against the meaning behind that statement.  He was losing her again and he had no choice in the matter.  He kissed her on the forehead in a wordless agreement, and hugged her again tightly. 

This time Lane wrapped her arms around him, spreading her fingers across his wide back.  She really did like him a lot, and she was going to miss him terribly.  She just didn’t want to repeat the mistake she had made with her last boyfriend.

 

* * *

Michael woke the next morning to an empty bed.  He reached around the sheets, searching for Lane, but she was gone.  He hopped off the bed, hoping against hope that she was still somewhere in the suite.  Surely she wouldn't just leave like that, would she?  His hopes faded as he made it out into the living area and found it completely empty and eerily quiet. It was like Lane took the life out of the room when she left.  It felt cold, and altogether lonely again.   Seeing a light on in the kitchen area, he walked over to the bar and saw the piece of paper laying there.  She'd left a note.

 

_Michael,_

_I'm sorry to leave this way.  I told you what I need to do, and I have to do it. It's the only way for me to get through this. I really do like you.  Maybe one day in the future we can talk again, but for right now I need to be alone and deal with things. I hope you understand and that you don't hate me for leaving this way.  I just know that it would be harder if I stayed._

_Lane_

 

Michael sat down in one of the stools at the bar in defeat. He read the note again, hoping for something, some clue to tell him where she was going. Was it Dallas? Was it somewhere else? He had no idea.  No fucking idea, and that infuriated him.  Why wouldn't she let him fucking help her?  Had he not called up her ex-boyfriend to find her?  What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

"Goddamnit!" he muttered as he stood up. He crumpled up the note and dropped it in the trashcan on his way back to the bedroom.  He flicked on the lights, the decision made.  He was going back to London. He'd go back to London and get on with his life. Enough of this bullshit.

 

 

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

Lane sat at the base of the grave. It felt surreal; her being here was not something she had ever thought she would be able to accomplish.  Even now she wanted to get up and bolt back to the car and leave.  Leave all of this behind and deal with it another day. 

“I’ll wait in the car, okay?” Eddie leaned down and kissed Lane on the back of her head, and turned and headed back to his car.

Lane sat for a few moments, taking in the quiet, just feeling her surroundings.  She didn’t know what to say, or what to do. So she just started talking.

“Eddie, I don’t even know where to begin. I am so sorry.  I’ll start there. I am so sorry I turned you down so many times before. I am sorry I didn’t say yes the first twenty five times you asked me,” Lane giggled a bit through her already-present tears as she thought back to those days when Eddie was so persistent.  She could still hear his laughter, could see his dancing blue eyes as he assured her that one day she would say yes.

“I miss you so much, Eddie.  Some days I don’t think I can go on.” Lane paused here, knowing she wasn’t telling the full truth. Birds were chirping overhead, their chatter the only thing breaking the silence surrounding her.

“I didn’t think I could go on, but I did. Well, for a few months I didn’t, but then Heather made me go on this trip, and I met somebody there.” Lane smiled now, a wistful smile as she remembered her first days with Michael. “He’s funny, and he’s so nice, Eddie. He’s so very nice, and he’s helped me so many times.”

She wiped at a tear that had trickled down her cheek as she thought about Michael.

“I felt so guilty with him, Eddie. I felt like you were watching me, and that you would be angry with me. I felt like I was disregarding what we had, so I ran away.” She picked up a leaf that had fallen near the headstone and picked it apart as she spoke. The little, dry pieces flaked off into her hand.

“Then I met another Eddie and I thought it was going to be perfect. I told you about him, long ago. My crush on the guy in Pearl Jam? Remember you would tease me, and tell me that I would leave you for him?” Lane swallowed the lump in her throat as she continued. “I thought I could do it. Make it work with this Eddie, but I couldn’t. He had blue eyes, and brown hair, and his name was Eddie, but he wasn’t you. I tried so hard to make him you, but I couldn’t, and he couldn’t, and now we aren’t together anymore either.”

She wiped at another tear.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come visit,” she whispered.  She glanced at the tiny headstone to her right, but quickly looked back at Eddie’s stone. “I’ve just been so scared.  If I come then that means it’s real.  That you’re really not coming back and that our….that she….”

Lane scooted closer to the larger headstone and wrapped her arms around it as she sobbed. She barely felt Eddie’s hands pull her into his lap and his arms wrapped around her.

“I’ve got you, Lane. You don’t have to do this alone, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered against her temple. “I’m right here with you.”

“I just miss him so much!” Lane cried into Eddie’s chest.

“I know you do. I know you do, and that’s okay, Lane.  It’s okay to miss people when they’re taken from us much too soon.” Eddie rocked her slowly as they sat before the headstone.

“I’m so afraid I am going to forget him. That I am going to forget both of them, and then it will be like it never happened,” Lane continued crying softly.

“You won’t forget them, Lane. You don’t have to. They’ll always be right here,” he tapped at the area over her heart, “and you can take them with you wherever you go.”

Lane sniffled again, but her crying was subsiding with Eddie’s words. She sat up a little straighter against him, but remained in his lap.

“Just because you move on and continue your life doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten them, Lane. It’s okay to be happy. I think Eddie would have wanted that. From what you’ve told me, he loved you that much. He would not want you to waste your life being sad forever.”

Lane turned and stared at the headstones - both of them – for the first time without feeling that she was going to crumple on the ground.  She could face this.  She could face this and she could be okay.  It was all going to be okay in time.

“Even if it means you are supposed to be with that asshole Fassbender, you deserve to be happy,” Eddie grumbled against her, and Lane laughed out loud.  A genuine, straight-from-the-gut laugh that had Eddie chuckling alongside her. She kissed him on the cheek and then turned back to the headstones once more.

“Thanks for coming with me, Eddie. I know this was hard for you, and probably weird.”

“That’s what good friends are for, Lane. No worries,” Eddie replied.

“I think I should come more often. It’s still hard, and I know I didn’t say much, but I think this is a good first step, right?”

“Absolutely. One foot in front of the other, and one day at a time, sweetheart,” Eddie reassured her.

“I think I am ready to go for now,” Lane said as she crawled out of his lap and stood.  She still couldn’t look at the tiny headstone without wanting to cry, but she had made progress today. At least she came.  It would take time, but she would be okay.  Everything was going to be okay eventually.  Eddie held his hand out to her and she pulled him up to stand beside her. She gave the headstones one last look and blew a kiss in their direction.

“I love you both, and I always will,” she whispered before turning and following Eddie back up to his car.

One foot in front of the other was all she could manage. It wasn’t much, but it was better than yesterday, and tomorrow would be better than today. One foot in front of the other.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch the videos please! Get you right in the feels haha!

Lane sat back against her seat. She was so hot and sweaty, but she wouldn’t have missed this concert for anything. It was just what she needed after the past month. Visiting the graves had wiped her out, emotionally and physically.  She had managed to go one more time since she had visited with Eddie, but that's all she had been able to do.  Knowing she needed a break, Eddie had insisted that she come to visit him and the guys for one of Pearl Jam’s shows. She was off to the side, front row, and could see Ed and the guys clearly.

“This next song goes out to my friend. She’s been going through some shit these past couple of years, and I just want her to know that it’s gonna be okay.  It’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna be okay.”  He looked in her general direction and smiled, but made no attempt to single her out.  She was grateful for that; tonight she just wanted to be another face in the crowd.  Lane heard the familiar chords from Mike and Stone, and the tears started flowing before Eddie even began to sing.

It was **“Release,”** a song that meant so much to her in so many ways.  The crowd was swaying along to Eddie’s words, their voices and his rising up and filling the arena.  He looked over in her general direction again,  and this time she made eye contact with him.  She knew he could see her and she could see him, and she waved and blew him a kiss of appreciation.  He nodded back at her, his lips curved in a small smile.  He really was a good friend, more than she ever deserved.

                                                                  

 

“I’ll ride the waves, where it takes me……

  I’ll hold the pain, release me!”

 

[Release](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q68SlVrtljc)

 

 The guys finished the song to a thunderous applause, and many were in tears just as Lane was.  It was such a beautiful song.

“Thanks. Thanks a lot,” Eddie spoke into the mic as he took a sip of wine.  He wiped his brow and motioned to the guys the next song.  He pulled the mic to his lips again, and in typical Eddie fashion,  began speaking about various atrocities in the world, and how so many times he wondered if the world was gonna be okay.  The crowd began cheering, knowing what was coming next.

"Sometimes I think this world is just shit, you know? It's just going to shit!" Eddie walked around the stage.  "They're bombing the shit out of each other in the Middle East,  people are starving to death all over the world,  this fucking weather!" The crowd started clapping again in agreement.

"You know it's hard to go to sleep at night sometimes.  You try to tell yourself it's gonna be okay, but then you start to wonder if it is or not? Sometimes I think to myself, maybe it’s not okay? So can you guys help me out?  Help me remember that it’s gonna be okay?”

The crowd cheered in response, the sound filling up the arena and echoing throughout.

“So, here’s what we’re gonna do, okay?  I need you guys to sing.  And sing loud!  When I say 'It’s okay,'  you guys respond with ‘it’s okay.’”  More applause and cheers.

"Okay?" Eddie asked with a grin as he took a sip of wine and set the bottle down.  The crowd began screaming and clapping, as many of them had heard the cover of Dead Moon's  **"It’s Okay."**   

Lane wiped at her quickly drying tears and smiled.   She loved this song, and the way Eddie and the guys did it always made her feel like things really were gonna be okay.  She started clapping along with the crowd to the beat of the drums and guitar.

 

                                                               

 

[It's Okay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JvbpRwoPKw)

* * *

 

Over two hours later, Lane was ushered backstage to where Eddie was waiting for her.  There were so many people here!  When the door to the room was finally opened, Lane breathed a sigh of relief as she went in.  Eddie looked up from the couch he was sitting on and smiled at her.

“Laney!” he called and motioned her over, but Stone intercepted her with a huge grin. He pulled her into his chest for a sweaty hug. 

“Hi Stoney,” Lane giggled against his chest.  He had always been like a big brother to her, and right now he smelled like a sweaty, stinky, big brother.  She had missed him dearly.

“You back with us, Lane?” Stone asked her as he released her to Eddie. 

Eddie pulled her in for yet another sweaty hug, and Lane wrinkled her nose at him.

“No,” she said as she pushed off Eddie. “Just checking out the show. You stink, Eddie.”

“Oh I’m fucking sorry, princess!” Eddie grinned at her. “I was just singing my ass off out there for over three hours, ya know!”

Lane looked up at him shyly. “I know you were, and I appreciate it, Eddie.”

“You caught that, then?” Eddie lightly rubbed her cheek affectionately, and Lane leaned into his palm.

“Not very subtle,” she smiled up at him.

“I just want you to be okay, Lane,” Eddie admitted honestly, his face serious.

“Should I leave? Cause this is weird,” Stone interjected.  Both Lane and Eddie looked toward him and grinned.

“No, Stone. You’re fine. Eddie and I aren’t together anymore, and we aren’t getting back together.”

Eddie pulled Lane back into his side for a reluctant hug.

“She’s dumping me for an actor. Can you believe that shit?” Eddie feigned indignation as Lane laughed beneath him.

“You’re such an ass and that’s not even true," she shot back as she punched him in the arm.

Stone held up his hands in defeat. “Yeah I don’t even know what’s going on, so I’m gonna go get something to drink, okay?” He looked down at Lane before walking away. “Come say bye to us all before you leave, okay?”

“Okay, Stoney. Will do.” Lane hugged the taller man once more before he left her with Eddie.

“Have you heard from him?” Eddie asked as he led her to a couch tucked away in the corner of the room.  Lane shook her head sadly as she sat down.

“No. I texted him. I think he might be avoiding my calls, but I don’t know.” 

Eddie sat down next to her and pulled out his cell phone.

“Want me to call him?” He asked her.  Lane looked at him dubiously and Eddie grinned back at her. “I kept his number after last time he and I talked.  Just in case.”

“In case of what?” Lane narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

“In case of this,” Eddie gestured at her.  He scrolled through his phone and pulled up Michael’s number and pressed call button. Lane quickly pulled the phone from his hand and pressed the ‘end call’ button. Eddie looked at her in exasperation.

“Why would you do that? Don’t you want to talk to him?”

“I don’t know, Eddie. I really don’t.  Maybe I read too much into it, whatever it was?  I don’t know.”  Lane leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes. “I mean, maybe it wasn’t even like a big deal for him, you know? Plus I left him so many times.”

“It sounded like a big ass deal when the dude came looking for me.” Eddie took a sip of beer and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I thought he was gonna beat the shit out of me.”

“Nuh uh!” Lane scoffed at him, but inside she was secretly gloating. Had Michael really been that bent out of shape over her?

“Yes huh!” Eddie shot back as he set his beer down. “I don’t know about right now, but back then that dude had feelings for you, Lane. He wouldn’t have tracked me down if he didn’t.  I think you are full of shit.”

Lane blushed as she remembered Michael appearing at the book signing and Eddie pointed at her knowingly.   Lane glared at him.  Well, did her best to, but her memories of Michael were making it hard for her to be mad.

"You see! That shit right there!" He wagged his finger at her and stood.  "You are so full of shit, Lane."  He pulled his phone out and began typing on it quickly as he walked away.  Lane jumped up and followed.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I just texted him to see where he was," Eddie smiled triumphantly.  He walked back over to the couch, sat down and picked up his beer.  Lane followed and stood over him, hands on her hips.

"You did not just text him."

"Shit. You know I did, Lane."  Eddie took another sip of beer.  Lane fell down on the couch next to him in defeat.  Eddie grinned at her again. "You are so full of shit."

His phone buzzed in his hand and he and Lane both looked at each other, eyes wide with curiosity.

"Well! Read it!" Lane gestured to his phone, and Eddie shook his head at her.

"Like I said - full of shit." He opened up his phone and read the message. "He's in New York.  Gonna be on Jimmy Fallon on Monday."

"What does that mean?"

"That means you get your little ass on a plane and go find him."  Eddie spoke as if she were a child.  Lane blanched at the suggestion.

"I can't do that."

"Why can't you?" Eddie demanded.

"What if I can't find him? Or what if doesn't see me? Or what if he does see me and then he ignores me?"  Lane was still mulling over the endless possibilities of rejection when Eddie waved his hand in front of her face to get her attention.

"And maybe none of that shit happens?"

Lane leaned against his shoulder and chewed on her nail in contemplation.  Eddie sipped on his beer and fiddled with his phone again.

"Just do it. Don't be chickenshit, Lane." 

"You sure?" she asked him nervously.

"Fuck!" Eddie grumbled against her and it was now Lane's turn to giggle.  She looped her arm with his and hugged him tightly. 

"You're a good friend, Eddie."

"I know."  He said easily.  He took a sip of beer and leaned his head against hers.

"And an asshole, and cocky, but a good friend," Lane giggled again, and Eddie laughed as well.

"Well, I can't be perfect can I? Cause then you would have ended up with me," Eddie murmured softly against her hair.  Lane felt the familiar prick of tears and she blinked rapidly to hold them at bay. 

"I'm sorry, Eddie," she whispered.  She really was sorry for putting him through all of that earlier shit.  He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter.

"It's good, Lane.  It is what it is."  His voice was deeper now, gruff with some unnameable emotion.  Lane was feeling it too.  She let go of his arm and turned to him, searching his beautiful face.  He shrugged his shoulders at her.

"Are you sure about this? I don't want this to be something that causes a problem between us."  She took his hand and smiled at him gently.  She really loved this man. 

"Nah. It's good. I promise." He leaned over and kissed her on her temple and smiled back at her.  "It stings like a bitch right now, but it's the way things are supposed to go down.  We both know it, Lane."

* * *

Lane left Eddie and the band a few hours later, and headed back to her hotel alone.  She hadn't heard from Michael, and she hadn't asked Eddie if he'd heard anything else.  She would fly back to Dallas for one day and then catch a flight to New York on Sunday.   She had to take a chance.  Regardless of what happened, she had to know where she stood with Michael  - if she stood anywhere with him.  

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

                                                                     

 

Lane stood outside the building along with the rest of the crowd. Would she be able to see him? She had no idea. As short as she was and as big as this crowd was, it was a good bet that she wouldn’t. Even in the rain, it was a large crowd by any stretch of the imagination. All these people wanting a piece of Michael, yet she was no better. She should leave. That’s what she should do. Just leave and go back home and forget about this all. She was continuously getting pushed further and further back towards the wall, the crowd insistent on seeing Michael, and she hardly stood a chance at seeing him. Just then the door opened and the crowd started cheering and scrambling towards whoever had just walked from the door.

                                                                      

She just barely caught a glimpse of Michael’s reddish-brown hair as he was ushered out to the waiting car, and she felt like the oxygen was sucked out of her lungs. People were yelling his name and pushing and shoving, and Lane crumpled inside herself, giving up and allowing herself to get pushed further back and away from him. He would never hear her over this crowd, and she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself to get his attention. He’d probably ignore her anyways.

She sighed as the car – with Michael – drove away. Missed opportunity, or maybe it was the universe talking to her, telling her that she had wasted that chance? Or that she didn’t need to be here in the first place? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to stand in the rain any longer. She walked along the sidewalk and ducked into a nearby café and sat down at an empty table.  She pulled out her phone and called Eddie. 

“Hello?”

“I didn’t get to see him,” Lane said softly. She heard Eddie sigh over the phone.

“Why not?”

“Too many people, and I am too short.”

“You chickened out, Lane.”  Eddie always did call her on her bullshit.  “Why didn’t you scream or something? Do something to get his attention?”

“And look like a fool? No thank you,” Lane scoffed.  The waitress came over to take her order and Lane gestured that she’d like water for now.

“At least you might have gotten his attention.”

“I’m not going to act like an idiot, Eddie.”

“Where are you now?” he asked her.

“Sitting in a little café down from where he was at.”

“Sitting all alone like an idiot in a café?”

“You are such an ass, Eddie!” Lane bit out, but she knew he spoke the truth.  She felt like a complete idiot for wasting an opportunity to see Michael again. If she could do a repeat, she definitely would have made sure he’d seen her.  Maybe he would care, maybe he wouldn’t. At least she would know one way or the other.

“Want me to call him again?” Eddie’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“No. I think I might just go back to Dallas. This is too much stress. If it’s meant to be it will be,” she answered him, but even she knew she wasn’t convincing.

“I’m calling him.”

“No, Eddie!” Lane squeaked, but secretly she wanted him to call, and Eddie knew it.

“I’m hanging up to call him, see where he’s gonna be at. It’s up to you after that, Lane. Either do it or don’t, okay?” Eddie said flatly.

“Okay,” Lane replied timidly.

“I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

Eddie hung up the phone and Lane sat, sipping on her water and waiting patiently for whatever may come. Just when she thought she was going to go insane and call Eddie back, her phone rang in her hand.

“He’s literally down the road at the…hold on I wrote it down…” Eddie shuffled some papers around, “down at the Plaza. That’s right next to you, right?”

Lane looked out the window at said hotel. 

                                                                     

 

Yes, it was right fucking there, less than a block away.  She stared at it out of the windows and felt her anxiety rising.

“Lane?”

“Yeah?” she squeaked out, and Eddie laughed at her over the phone.

“Is it nearby?”

“Across the street, Eddie,” she replied nervously. She began furiously chewing on the straw that came with the water.  She was about to freak out. She could feel it coming, one bit panic attack about to hit.

“So…..” Eddie laughed again. “Get up off your ass and get over there. I think he said he was flying back to London tomorrow, so you better your ass in gear, Laney.”

“Just walk up to the hotel and ask for him? I don’t know what to do, Eddie.  Oh god, what do I do?” She was panicking now, and her hand was shaking as she clutched the phone to her ear.

“Just take your ass over there, Lane. How long do you think it will take you to get there?”

“Maybe 10 minutes, if not less.” She watched as people walked along the sidewalk, hurrying to and fro from wherever they were going.

“Okay so just get up and walk over there, and wait at the front desk. Give them your name and wait, okay?”

“Why?” Lane asked him, her brows furrowed as she tried to figure out what he was up to.

“Damnit Lane! Just go, will you? I am tired of this shit.  Just get up and get over there, will ya?” Eddie ordered her.

“Okay, I’m going, Eddie.” She stood up and dropped a few bucks on the table for the waitresses' efforts and walked out onto the sidewalk. “If this ends badly I’m gonna punch you in the balls.” 

He laughed at her over the phone again, and Lane couldn’t help but crack a small – albeit nervous –smile as well. He really was a good friend and she was so fortunate to still call him such.

“Call me later?” he asked her.

“Okay, I will.” She hung up the phone and crossed the street with the rest of the crowd and made her way to the hotel. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  Here goes nothing.


	30. Chapter 30

“Lane."

“Okay and you are here to see who?” the receptionist asked her again with the obligatory smile. Lane was frustrated and beyond nervous. She'd passed nervousness a few minutes ago and was headed straight into full blown panic attach.   This was too much and this fucking lady could not get it through her head!

“Well, see that’s the thing....I don’t know if he’s here, or if he-”

“She’s here to see me.” 

Lane visibly slumped against the edge of the reception desk as Michael’s deep voice rolled over her, and she closed her eyes in embarrassment.  He was standing right behind her. 

“Oh Mr. Fassbender! I was not aware that you were expecting visitors,” the receptionist stated apologetically as she looked over Lane's head.

Lane slowly turned around and met his blue eyes for the first time in months.  God, how was it possible that he was still so devastatingly handsome?  The beard, and the blue eyes, and the ball cap, and just everything. 

“I wasn’t either,” he replied, although one corner of his beautiful mouth was lifted in a tepid smile. 

“Come with me?”  He held his hand out to Lane and she wordlessly placed her hand in his.

“Uhmm..okay,” Lane stammered out as she followed him to the elevator. Neither spoke until they were inside, and even then Lane was silent. Her cheeks were on fire with embarrassment and it was all she could do to remain standing upright.  How was this even possible?

“This is a pleasant surprise, Laney,” Michael murmured against the back of her hand as he held it up to his lips.  Fuck,  she just realized he was still holding her hand.  Lane watched on in some kind of surreal trance as Michael’s lips brushed the back of her hand as he brought it to his mouth.  She licked her lips involuntarily and Michael smiled against her hand, but both were interrupted as the elevator chimed that they had arrived at his floor.  He led her to his room and once inside, he locked the door behind her and tossed his keys and cell down on the foyer table. As usual, Michael had probably the biggest room in the hotel, but only used a portion of it. Lane let out a nervous chuckle as she stared out at the vast expanse of the room.

“What?” Michael asked as he came up behind her, but did not touch her.

“You always have these huge rooms, and you never use half of it.”

“I like my space.  Shall we sit?” He walked in front of her and flicked on lights as he went. The living area was huge, with a couch and two loveseats.  Michael plopped down on the couch and Lane hesitantly sat down on one of the loveseats.  She could feel his eyes on her, watching her curiously as she removed her coat and pulled her hat off.

“So what brings you here to New York, luv?” Michael asked her easily. “Work? Another book signing?”

Lane gulped, knowing it was time to spill.  She couldn't meet his eyes.

“You, actually,” she whispered. Could her face get any redder?  It felt like it was on fire!

“Me?”

“Uhm…yeah…I came to see you. I was at the show earlier, waited outside, but….well….” Lane trailed off.  She was completely humiliated, unable to meet his eyes but for a moment, a quick glance in his direction.  He was grinning now, the fucker.

“Why didn’t you say anything?  If I had known, I surely would have made sure to see you, Lane.”

Lane found the courage to look at him straight on now, and this time there was a bit of anger in her gaze.

“I’ve been calling you, Michael.  You never answer my phone calls,” she accused, and Michael leaned forward and rubbed the back of his neck as he looked downward.

“Yeah…” He admitted it. He knew she was calling him, but he didn't answer.

“So you were avoiding me, then?”

“Like you were doing to me, Laney?” he challenged her, his eyes flashing as he stared back at her.   Michael’s cool, blue eyes held anger of their own this time as they met her brown eyes.  He stood up and walked over to the window overlooking downtown NYC.  It was dark now, the sun finally setting and the city had come alive as it always did.  He turned back to Lane, and crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“How long was I supposed to hang around and wait, Laney?  The first time in Florida, okay, I get that.  When you and Vedder have a fit, I am there again, picking up the pieces.  Then this last time, Laney.  Really?  You just walked out on me.  You left a fucking note. ”

Lane fiddled with her hands in her lap as she contemplated what to say.   Really, what could she say in defense of what he’d said?  It was all true, and he had every right to be mad at her.

“I’m sorry, Michael. I don’t know what else to say but that I’m sorry,” she offered weakly as she shrugged her shoulders.  Michael shook his head at her in disbelief.

“Sorry?  So now what?” He walked back over to the couch and sat closer to her this time. “Look, I get it okay? I understand you needed time, and I was okay with that, but when are you going to run out again?”

“I can’t promise anything, Michael.”

“Then why did you come here?” He leaned forward and Lane could feel his body heat emanating off him. 

"I guess I....I mean I thought that maybe...." she looked up at Michael, an attempt to find words to explain to him what was going through her head, but Michael had other ideas.  

He leaned forward and cupped her cheeks, pulling her forward as he kissed her.   Lane brought her hands up to cover his, and she melted into him, her earlier fears forgotten with the feel of him against her.  Michael kissed her softly at first, his warm lips soft against hers,  but before long it became forceful.  He nipped at her lips as he pulled her to him, their breaths becoming one as Michael kissed her.  Lane didn't realize she was moaning until Michael stopped kissing her.  Her eyelids fluttered open and she saw him staring at her with a tender smile.

"You wanted to see if that still worked?" he teased her. He leaned forward and kissed her again, a quick kiss on the lips followed by one on her nose and one on each cheek.  "It does, I think."

Lane slowly started smiling as Michael continued rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs. 

They barely heard the knock when it came the first time, so lost they were in each other.  The second time was a little more forceful, and Lane looked at Michael curiously.   She visibly deflated, felt the wind leave her sails, as that look crossed over Michael's face.  She knew this had been too good to be true.  She knew what was on the other side of that door.  Or who, to be more precise.  Michael had apparently been expecting company and had neglected to tell her.

Without a word, she stood up and smoothed out her clothing, and grabbed her coat and slipped it back on. Michael stood as well, wincing as another knock came at the door.

“You better get that, huh?” Lane asked coolly,  nodding her head at the door. “Should I hide in the bathroom, or sneak out the window?”

“Can you let me explain?” Michael had an aggravated tone to his voice now.  Lane glared at him as she pulled her purse on over her shoulder.  The audacity of this asshole! 

“It’s fine, Michael.  It is what it is.” She looked around the hotel room, and back to Michael. “Am I going out the front door, or what?”

Another knock.

“Just a minute!” Michael yelled at the door.  He was angry now, his brows drawn together as he turned back to Lane. “Don’t go. Not like this. I can explain.”

“There is nothing to explain. I just need to leave. Tell me how to get out of here," Lane muttered disdainfully. 

Michael flung his hand at the only exit – the door that was being knocked on – and Lane rolled her eyes.  Outwardly she looked furious - and appeared righteously indignant - but inside she was terrified to see who was on the other side of that door.  Michael was an actor, and gorgeous, and she knew the women he was usually seen with.  None of them looked like her.  It was a no-win situation for her; she'd lost Michael and now she was going to see the beauty she'd lost him to.   She could feel her heart drumming against her ribcage, but she squared her shoulders regardless and marched to the door. Michael beat her to it, though, and placed his hand against it to prevent her from opening it.

“Don’t leave like this. Please,” he spoke softly, but Lane was done.

“Let me out,” she hissed.  She just needed to get out of this room and get away from him as fast as possible.  Michael removed his hand from the door and opened it.  Nothing in the world could have prepared Lane for who would be staring back at her from the other side of that door.

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

Lane couldn’t speak, and she was sure her mouth was probably touching the floor, it was gaping so much.  Of all the people in the world.  She narrowed her eyes and turned to Michael. If looks could kill, he’d most certainly be dead right now.

“You are unbelievable,” she gritted out.  She turned back to the person in front of her and plastered the best, most over-the-top smile she could muster.

“Hello, Joanna. Nice to see you again,” Lane smiled between clenched teeth. 

Really, of all the fucking people in the world and he had to choose her.  Joanna rushed in, the usual cloud of too-much perfume and not enough clothing, and enveloped Lane in a hug. Maybe one of her breasts would pop, Lane thought to herself bitterly.

“Laney! How are you? What are you doing in New York?” Joanna pulled back and looked Lane over as if she were a specimen. “You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? Heather didn’t tell me you were going to be here.  Another book signing?” Still just as loquacious as ever, Joanna was.

Lane took a deep breath and plastered the smile back on her face.

“I was just in town. Had to drop something off with Mr. Fassbender, but I’ll be leaving now.”

Both ladies turned to look at Michael who was standing off to the side. Lane knew he was pissed, that muscle in his jaw and forehead always ticked when he was.  She didn’t give a fuck, though.  All she wanted to do was get out of this room and out of this fucking city.  Joanna dropped her bag by the door and sauntered up to Michael and slid her arm around his.  It was hard not to be jealous of the bitch.  She was all tan, and long legs, and long, dark hair and big boobs, and she was with Michael. That last part was the one that stung the most.   She was with Michael, and if her bag was any indication, she was spending the night with Michael.  Lane pushed down the gross feeling that was bubbling up in her throat and tried to regain her composure.

"Well. Joanna, Michael. I'll leave you to it.  Have a good....evening." She nodded at them both and without another word marched out the door and almost ran down to the elevator.  Fucking bastard! Fuck fuck fuck!!  She jammed her finger against the button, willing the elevator to hurry and bring it's ass up to her floor. 

"Please don't leave like this," Michael spoke softly against her ear.  He hesitantly touched her elbow, but Lane jerked away from him.  "Let me explain."

"Leave me alone," Lane hissed again.  She turned to him, unbidden tears springing forth in her eyes.  "How could you? Of all the women in the world? Joanna?"

"Laney...luv...it's not what you think.  It really is not." Michael steepled his hands in front of him as he begged her to believe him.  "Let me send her away, and let me explain it all to you. I swear it's not what you think."

"If I hadn't come, and Joanna still showed up, what then, Michael?  Would you still be sending her away?" Lane questioned him.  She swallowed hard, and a tear slipped out as he hesitated to answer.  "That's what I thought.  I have to go Michael."

The doors to the elevator opened and Lane stepped inside.  Michael placed his hand against the door, preventing it from closing.

"You are making a goddamned mistake, Lane.  Please. I am begging you to not leave like this," Michael implored her. 

She was so close to stepping back out, to letting him tell her whatever he needed to say to get her to stay, but she was just strong enough to resist.  She would not do this again, cling to a relationship that wasn't meant to be.  She just simply would not.

"I have to go," she sniffled and wiped at another fucking tear that was trickling down her cheek.  Michael stared at her for a moment longer but ultimately released the door.  It immediately closed and Lane let out the breath she was holding.  She was so wrong.  She had been so, so very wrong.

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Lane shoved her way through the lobby of her hotel as she made her way to her room. It had taken nearly a fucking hour just to get here! She was so pissed she could hardly see straight. Once she was on her floor, she couldn’t wait any longer and dialed up Eddie again. 

“Lane?”

“Get ready to get punched in the balls!”

Eddie sighed over the phone. Lane marched down to her room, the only sound the heavy drop of each footstep. 

“What happened?” Eddie asked her hesitantly. 

Lane jammed her key in the door, opened it, and slammed it shut behind her. 

“He had company. Guess who?” She threw her purse down on the bed and ripped off her coat and hat. What a fucking asshole! 

“Do I even want to know?” Eddie asked sarcastically and Lane rolled her eyes. She flopped down on the bed and lay back. 

“Fucking Joanna. Remember her? My so-called friend from high school?”

“Oh yeah? What was she doing there?”

“I don’t fucking know, Eddie! What does it matter?” She kicked her shoes off angrily, one flying and hitting the wall with a resounding thud. “I made a complete fool of myself.”

“I’m sure you didn’t, Laney,” Eddie began, but Lane wasn’t finished. 

“Why the fuck did I think that was a good idea? Why would you tell me to do that, Eddie? God, I should have never listened to you!” She was very nearly on the verge of tears, and she closed her eyes to keep them at bay. “I feel so stupid,” she whispered brokenly. 

“I’m sure it’s not what you think it was, Lane.”

The phone buzzed against her ear and Lane pulled it back and stared at it with narrowed eyes. It was Michael calling her. She hit the decline button and put the phone back to her ear.

“He just tried to call me,” she sniffled out. 

“Well why didn’t you answer it? Did you even let him try to explain anything?” Eddie was clearly done with this whole situation. “Really, Lane. What the fuck? You run all over the fucking country looking for him, but not looking for him. You whine about him not calling, and then when he does you ignore it.”

“You don’t get it,” Lane muttered bitterly. She was in no mood for Eddie’s lecture tonight. 

“Pick up the fucking phone and call him. Or answer his call. Do something, or don’t. I don’t want to hear about it anymore,” Eddie bit out. 

“Why are you being such an asshole, Eddie?”

“Why? Really? Did you already forget that we were in a relationship not too long ago? And now you’ve got me playing some kind of fucked up Cupid. I don’t want to be a part of this, Lane. I can’t. I know that you and I aren’t supposed to be together, and I will be okay, but this is going too fuckin’ far.”

Lane sat up slowly. It just dawned on her how badly she had been treating Eddie. They had been in a relationship and they had feelings for each other at one time. It finally occurred to Lane that while they were indeed broken up, Eddie might actually be harboring feelings for her still. And here she was, dragging him along in her cat-and-mouse game with Michael. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t realize what this might be doing to you,” she said softly. She was truly sorry; it was never her intention to treat Eddie in such a way. She had just been too consumed with her own issues to pay any attention to what he might be going through. He had been nothing but a friend, and he certainly didn’t deserve this treatment. 

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it,” Eddie’s deep voice grumbled over the phone. 

“No, Eddie. It’s not okay and I am sorry. I’ll stop. No more involving you in this stuff.”

“Lane, look. I want you to be happy, and I’ll try to do whatever I can, but either do it or don’t. You know I can’t stand to see you sad, right?” 

“I know, and I am sorry.”

"Well fuck," Eddie grumbled again. 

“What?”

“He’s calling me now. Son of a bitch!” Eddie muttered the expletive, and Lane stood up and immediately began chewing on her nail. This was all just fantastic now….

“Decline it,” she stated matter-of-factly. 

“No. I’ll call you back in a minute.” 

Before she could even protest, Eddie had hung up the phone. Lane looked around the room frantically. What the fuck did she do now? She tried to call Eddie back but it went straight to voicemail. Fuck!


	33. Chapter 33

45 minutes later, she was still trying to call Eddie and still getting his irritating voice mail when a knock came at her door.  She groaned, knowing full well who it was.

“Goddamn you, Eddie!” she muttered as she threw her phone down on the bed and walked to the door. She looked through the peephole.

Yep.

There he was - all ginger-bearded scruff, blue eyes, and thin lips. He looked very pissed off, his brows drawn together as he looked down the hallway.  Lane gulped as she unlocked the door, but she squared her shoulders and held her head up high as she opened it.

“What do you want?” she asked quietly. Without a word, Michael pushed past her and walked into the room.  Lane stood there gaping, wondering what the fuck had just happened! Did he really just barge into her room?  She looked at him as he stood near the bed, hands on slim hips as he surveyed her small room.  He turned back around to her and motioned to the door with his hand.

“Go ahead and shut the fucking door. I’m not leaving until we figure this shit out.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. Lane stared at him for a moment longer, realized he was indeed serious, and shut the door quietly. She locked it and moved cautiously back towards Michael.

“What kind of bullshit game are you playing, Lane?” Michael demanded. He stood up and walked over to her slowly. She leaned back against the small table and peered up at him.

“I…I don’t know what you mean,” she stammered.  She tried to duck and move around him, but Michael grabbed her arm below her elbow and held her in place.

“You did it again, luv.  You never give me a chance to explain anything, and you just fucking run away.”

Lane narrowed her eyes at him as she jerked her arm out of his grasp. She moved away from him, towards the bathroom, putting distance between them.

“Well, fucking excuse me! I didn’t go to your hotel thinking I would run into bitch-face Joanna!” She was practically yelling now.  Michael’s eyes narrowed in response, his mouth screwed up in disbelief at Lane's assumption.

“I wasn’t going to fuck her! Goddamnit!” He was yelling.  He was definitely yelling, and Lane shrank a little as his show of anger. He was a little frightening when he was angry. Actually he was very frightening when he was angry, but she had to know.

“Then why was she in your room?” Lane meekly asked him.  She was trying not to cry now, but her chin was trembling and her words came out shaky. The hard look on Michael’s face softened and he smiled at her as he walked towards her.

“Honestly? I ran into her at some function yesterday and we started talking.  She wanted some advice on some things, and yes, I invited her to my room. I didn’t want to risk being seen out in public with her.” Michael’s mouth turned down in distaste at the thought.

“So you did invite her?” Lane asked him suspiciously.  Michael nodded. 

“I did, but not for what you think.” He reached down and tugged at her hand.  She resisted a bit, but allowed him to take it nonetheless as she regarded him skeptically. 

“I was stupid enough to think that I could find out something, anything, about you. From her.” He raised an eyebrow, a sardonic smile on his face.

“You’re lying.” Lane weakly argued with him, but Michael shook his head as he moved closer to her.  She was almost leaning back on her heels, so close he was.

“Do you want me?” Michael moved even closer, forcing her to retreat, backing her up against the bathroom door. Lane licked at her lips nervously. He smelled so good, and he was right fucking there in front of her!  Her heart skipped a beat when Michael brought his hand up and placed it around the base of her throat, his thumb lightly rubbing against her chin and then over her lower lip.

“Do you want me, Laney?” Michael asked again. His eyes had darkened the way they do when he was aroused, the lighter blue seeming to morph into some kind of angry, choppy blue sea color.

“I do,” Lane whispered against his thumb.  Whether on purpose or by accident, her tongue darted out just barely and met his thumb.  Michael's nostrils flared and his brows drew together as he pulled her to him, and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Kiss me, luv," he whispered against her lips.  "Show me that you want me."

Lane closed her eyes, and with her heart pounding in her chest, she tentatively pressed her lips against his.  Michael groaned at her touch and brought his other hand up to cup her other cheek as he held her close.  Lane grew a little bolder, pulling his lower lip in between hers as he always did, and that did it.   Michael groaned even louder against her mouth and lifted her around her thighs.   Lane instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist as he carried her back to the bed and lay her down.  He stood up and stripped off his jacket and shirt, all the while his eyes were on Lane as she watched him from the bed.  When he was shirtless, he crawled over her and pushed her legs apart and settled there. 

"Tell me you're not gonna run out on me again, luv," Michael murmured against her collarbone. He pushed her shirt aside and kissed and licked at the skin he uncovered.  "Tell me."

Lane squirmed against him in need, but Michael held back as he hovered over her.

"Tell me you're going to give me....to give us....a chance, Laney."   His searched her face for answers, and Lane smiled at him gently as she reached up and rubbed her palm against his bearded cheek.

"I will, Michael," Lane whispered. "I want to give you a chance, and I want to give us a chance."

"And?" He eyed her as he turned his head and kissed her fingertips.

"And I won't run away."

"Good girl. Now we can get on to bigger and better things," Michael said as he slowly pulled her shirt up.  Lane giggled as his hands brushed against her ribcage.

"Bigger?" she asked him coyly as she wiggled her hips against him.  He pressed against her with a growl, and Lane's breath caught at the feeling of him against her.

"Much bigger things, luv."

 


	34. Chapter 34

“Do you have the rings?” Lane frantically asked Michael as she scrambled into the car, making sure not to drag her dress on the ground.  Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. She and Michael weren’t supposed to be riding together in the first place and she should have been at the location an hour ago! To say her anxiety was high was an understatement. Michael casually climbed in behind her and shut the door to the limo.

“Calm down, luv. I’ve got them right here.” He patted his breast pocket where he’d tucked the rings.

“Why is it taking so long to get there?” Lane grouched as the driver pulled slowly out into traffic. Michael chuckled next to her, and pulled out his cell phone.

“Why don’t you relax, baby?” He typed out a quick text and shoved his pocket back into his pocket. He reached over and pulled Lane back to her, tucking her in at his side. “I just texted Eddie and let him know that we’re on our way. It’s all going to be fine, luv.”

“Easy for you to say, Michael!” She pulled out her compact from her purse and checked her makeup again.  Smudges of mascara and flakes of powder of course! This damn humidity was going to be the death of her! She continued trying to fix her makeup and tugging at her dress. The stupid thing hardly fit right and it was squeezing the fucking breath out of her. She couldn’t wait to get it off!

“Well, I am going to take a nap,” Michael murmured as he rested his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. Lane looked at him, her eyes narrowed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have been out at that damn bachelor party til 3am then!” she admonished him as she looked back into the small mirror she was holding.

Michael waved her off with his hand and crossed his arms over his chest.  A few seconds later - literally – and she heard him snoring.  She shook her head, but could not stay mad at him. He was so damned cute when he slept. She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his forehead as she pushed a wayward strand of hair off his brow. With one quick kiss more, she settled back in her seat and tried to do the best she could to fix the makeup that had melted off her face. 

She snorted as she saw her reflection in the mirror.  Pictures were going to be lovely today, that was for sure.

* * *

 

“Can we have the rings, please?” the minister asked with a smile. Lane smiled as Michael produced the rings from his breast pocket and handed them to Eddie.  Michael took his place back beside Lane.

Eddie turned back to his future bride, his face lit up with a huge smile – one that actually reached his eyes.  Lane would swear she had never seen him happier. Jill was beautiful – inside and out – and she was perfect for Eddie.

As she and Michael took their seats and watched the rest of the ceremony, Lane began to think about how weird the past year had been. All her ups and downs with at first Eddie, and then Michael, and now this wedding, and the baby! It was all just crazy.  She smiled down at her tummy as her and Michael’s son kicked against her ribs. He never let her forget too long that he was growing inside her, and growing quickly.  Her smile got bigger as she grabbed Michael’s hand and placed it over her stomach so that he could feel the movements. He watched in wonder as his hand bumped up and down along with their son’s kicks, and looked up at Lane with a smile.

“He’s very active today, yeah?” he whispered against her ear as he scooted closer.

“He’s hot,” Lane muttered as she began to fan herself with a seat holder that had been left lying on her chair.

“You’re hot,” Michael murmured against her neck, causing her to break out in goosebumps.

“I’m a sweaty cow,” Lane snorted as she fanned herself faster. How much longer was she going to be able to sit here without passing out? Why were there no fans? Didn’t anyone realize it was going to be 800 degrees today? Who’s idea was it to have a beach wedding anyway??

“Sweat is sexy on you, luv,” Michael murmured again, and this time he nipped her earlobe with his teeth.  Lane gasped and turned to look at him in exasperation.

“You do realize we are at a wedding, right?” she whispered sarcastically. The bastard only grinned back at her, all teeth on display, and she felt her resolve waiver. His smile always did that to her.

Before he could answer, the officiant announced Eddie and Jill as husband and wife, and everyone stood to clap and cheer for them. Lane looked at Michael in annoyance. They had missed the most important part of the ceremony because of him! He just shrugged at her, grin still in place. Lane ignored him and turned back to watch the newlyweds exit the small area where they had exchanged their vows.  Eddie and Jill walked down into the small crowd, hugging necks and kissing cheeks as they went along. When they got to Michael and Lane, Eddie surprised everyone by grabbing Michael and hugging him tightly.

“You take care of my girl, you hear?” Eddie warned him, but his face was set in a permanent grin that belied his stern warning.

“Will do,” Michael grinned back.  Jill and Lane hugged a few times, and then Eddie turned to Lane and motioned for her to follow him a few feet away so that they could speak in private.

“You be nice to him, you hear?” He jerked his thumb towards Michael.

“I’ll try,” Lane replied as she grinned back at Michael who was now talking to Jill.  She looked back at Eddie and smiled at him tenderly. 

“I’m happy for you, Eddie.”

“I’m happy, too, Laney!” Eddie looked back at his bride and blew her a sweet kiss, and then turned back to Lane. “Everything worked out the way it should, yeah?”

Lane nodded in agreement. “I think so.” She looked back at Michael with adoration.  Everything had definitely worked out the way it should and she couldn't be happier.

“I always said you were full of shit, Laney,” Eddie teased her as he watched her watching Michael.  Lane looked back at Eddie and narrowed her eyes at his smug tone.

“Yes, yes you did, Edward. You were right, and I was wrong.  Are you happy now?”

“You know I am,” he gloated and Lane couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Seriously, Eddie, I am so happy for you.  Jill is amazing and I think you guys are just perfect for each other.”

“Yeah she’s pretty fuckin’ great.” Was Eddie Vedder blushing? Holy shit!

“Get back to her, Eddie.  It’s your wedding day, go celebrate it,” Lane shoved against his shoulder playfully.

“Give me hug and I’ll go,” Eddie’s voice had grown gruff, and he pulled Lane in for a quick hug. “You will always call if you need anything, right?”

“Of course,” Lane said softly.  Eddie let her go, and without another word they walked back over to join Jill and Michael.

“You ready, baby?” Eddie asked Jill. She smiled at him and nodded, and the couples said goodbye once more before the newlyweds headed off to their bungalow.

“What about you, sweetheart?” Michael asked her as Lane watched Eddie and Jill walk away. “You ready?”

“I am,” Lane replied.  She took Michael’s hand and followed him up to their own bungalow.

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

“I don’t think I have ever been more relaxed in my life,” Lane murmured.

Her head lolled back against Michael’s chest as they sat in the shallow pool. Each bungalow had a small pool with water that could be set a certain temps. Michael had managed to get it just warm enough and just cool enough so that Lane could fully relax. She felt like the weight had been lifted off her, even if it were temporary. Michael kissed along the column of her neck and Lane rolled her head even further to give him better access.  His hands roamed down her arms and over to her belly that was slightly swollen with their child. At nearly 5 months pregnant, she was just getting to the point where her stomach was starting to get in the way, even though she was not huge by any means.

“I love you like this, Laney.” He kissed along her neck, eliciting small moans from her. “So fucking sexy. Smooth and round, and perfect.”

She gasped as his hands traveled up and cupped her breasts, his palms holding their heavy weight. He ran his hands down her arms as he massaged her, the water helping his hands to glide as he went along. When he reached her hand, he held it up and brought it back to his lips for a kiss.

“You know how much I love you, Laney?”

“How much?” she whispered groggily. She was very nearly asleep, so sated and relaxed.  She barely felt Michael slip the ring on the tip of her finger.

“Enough to never let you go,” he replied as he pushed the ring over her knuckle.

Lane’s eyes popped open and she jerked her hand back in front of her face so that she could see it. Sure enough there was a diamond solitaire right there on her ring finger. Scrambling to sit up right, she turned around in the pool and stared up at Michael with tears in her eyes. His blue eyes were brilliant, reflecting the love she felt for him right back at her.

“Michael?” Lane whispered in disbelief.

“Marry me, luv. Please?” He looked at hopefully, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Really?” She looked back down at the ring and then back up to him. “You want to marry me?”

“Please just say yes, Laney,” Michael grinned.  He pulled her back so that she was resting on his lap. The water lapped at the edge of the pool at his movements, splashing over the sides. He nuzzled her neck as he hugged her close.

“Well?”

“Well, what?” Lane asked him in momentary confusion.  She was mesmerized by the ring, watching as it’s many facets danced in the pale moonlight, and Michael's lips at her neck weren't helping anything.

“Marry me. You haven’t given me an answer.” He nipped at the lines of her neck, eliciting a groan as his hands roamed over her body.  Lane squirmed against him and she could feel his growing erection. She turned in his arms and took his face in her hands.

"Yes, Michael. I'll marry you." She kissed him on the tip of his nose as his smile turned into a full on sharky grin.

"You will?"

"I will," Lane kissed him again, but Michael took over now, turning her so that she could slide down on top of him. She buried her face in his neck as she undulated her hips against him, losing herself in the man she loved.

* * *

 

"You awake, Laney," Michael murmured against the back of her neck as they lay curled up next to each other sometime later.  She shifted against him and snuggled down deeper in his arms.

"Yeah," she mumbled against his arm.

"I have an idea that I want to run by you, but it's sort of weird." Michael's voice was hesitant, almost afraid, and Lane's brows drew together in concern.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking about the baby, and the names we've been tossing about."

Lane relaxed against him again, and pulled his arms around her. He tightened his grip on her shoulder and kissed the bare skin there.

"What are you thinking?"

"I think we should name him Edward," Michael replied quietly, and Lane felt her heart lurch in her chest at his words.

"Wh...what?" she stammered in surprise.

"Only if you think it's a good idea, luv. I just thought that maybe you would want to, you know..." Michael trailed off in uncertainty. 

Lane blinked a few times to stop the tears the were already falling and turned over in his arms. She was crying, but she was smiling at the same time. She cupped Michael's cheek with one hand.

"Will you ever know how much I love you?"

Michael relaxed at her words, a bashful smile appearing as he nuzzled her palm. "So it's a good idea?"

"Edward Michael. What do you think?"

"Now that's a perfect idea," Michael agreed with a chuckle.

"Eddie's gonna think we named our son after him," Lane teased him and Michael's grin faded to a look of irritation.

"Well, fuck me," he growled.  Lane kissed him on his nose as she grinned again.

"I'd like to," she pushed up against him, her bare breasts pressing against his chest.  Michael cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You trying to change the subject, woman?" Michael palmed her breast as he nipped at her jaw.

"I'm trying to get you to fuck me, Michael," Lane replied, looking at him as if she were talking about the weather.  Michael stared at her for a moment and then burst out laughing as he buried his face against her throat.

"You've got a mouth on you." Michael grinned against her neck, causing Lane to giggle at his remark.

"So I get Fish Tank Fassy tonight, then?"

"Is that who you want?" He cupped her ass as he pulled her closer to him. He slowly slid his hand down her thigh and gripped it, pulling it up and over his hip, opening her to him.

"I just want Michael, however I can get him." She squirmed against him restlessly, needing him.

"I love you, Laney."

"I love you, Michael."


End file.
